Dan

@shira_mari_camp Love to hear it. Congratulations.

昨日4/2にうちの嫁が日本人人口1名増やしました！！🎉🎊 無痛分娩予定でしたがまさかのお産がすすまず緊急帝王切開に…😭 嫁もベビも頑張ってくれました☺️ ベビと嫁の回復に少し時間がかかり今のご報告です🙇‍♂️ まだまだ術後なので嫁は痛みなど大変ですが母子ともに元気です！！😆

NASA pays $100M for Microsoft 365 licensing across the agency. They standardized every system on Microsoft. They put Microsoft Surfaces on the Orion spacecraft as the crew's personal computing devices. And the first technical crisis of humanity's return to the Moon was Reid Wiseman radioing Houston to say he has two Microsoft Outlooks and neither one works. Mission Control's response? "With your go, we can remote in and take a look." The same exact workflow your company's IT helpdesk uses when you submit a ticket on a Monday morning. Except the user is traveling at 4,275 mph, 30,000 miles from Earth, and the Wi-Fi situation is considerably worse. This spacecraft survived hydrogen leaks, helium leaks, a faulty heat shield, and a broken toilet. Outlook broke anyway. The toilet actually got fixed faster. The real story here is that Microsoft has achieved something no other software company in history can claim: a support ticket from lunar transit. Their enterprise sales team should frame this. "Battle-tested in space" is a positioning statement most B2B companies would mass murder for, and Microsoft accidentally earned it because Outlook crashes everywhere, including orbit. Outlook remains the only software in human history that performs identically whether you're in a cubicle in Redmond or aboard a spacecraft bound for the Moon. Universally, reliably broken. And we keep buying it anyway.

@CrazyVibes_1 Would the store of stopped him from over paying if it was over priced at the register? NO, and this commonly happens.

At a Walmart store in Mexico, a customer found a 70-inch TV priced at 547 Mexican pesos (approximately $30). The customer bought it, and when he tried to leave with him, it turned out that the price was mismarked and the employees prevented him from leaving. The incident ended in a fight, the arrival of the police and the arrest of the customer. It seems to me that in this case the customer was right and should have been compensated by the store.

@mitchellvii For an oil change and tire rotation?

When I bought this BMW I knew the day would come where I'd get hit with a big repair bill. It finally happened and I dropped almost 3,500 bucks. I mean that's the price you pay if you want to drive these cars but it still sucks.

@WalkerAmerica The Giving Tree

If you could only recommend *one* book that everyone should read, which will fundamentally alter the way they see the world, what would it be?

@BBMagaMom Can they hold a special election to remove them?

🚨A massive crowd in Missouri packed the room, so many people they had to bring in bleachers, to oppose a $6B data center. The entire crowd was chanting NO!!! The city council approved it anyway… right in their faces. WHY DO WE ALLOW THIS SHIT??

@RobertDowneyJr and Ben Stiller its time for Tropic Thunder 2

@ZEROitami Yes, it makes both taste better.

アメリカ🇺🇸ではコーラにピーナッツを入れて飲むのがポピュラーだそう。 コレ聞いてマジで！？ってなった。 「コーラが美味しくなるの？ ピーナッツが美味しくなるん？」 ってリプが飛び回ってるとか。 アメリカの友人たち、これは本当？そしてやったことある？ #ピーナッツコーラ

@sometimesjoey @ZEROitami Sports events too, it was a way to free up a hand.

@ZEROitami It’s a delicious & efficient way to snack. It’s what blue collar guys did & still do to get a drink & snack while they drove for work, one hand on the wheel one hand to drink & eat peanuts. It started in the South in the 1920’s amongst farmers & laborers while driving or on break

@nikitabier The fast forward and rewind methods suck on videos. We also want to be able to listen to speeches and podcasts without the screen on. Minimizing the video so I can keep scrolling and posting on X is nice.

Every time we do a user survey. What would make X better for you? Normal Person: > Maybe a podcast feature? Guy who reposted 370 videos from TikTok using Scheduled Posts, has never opened the app, and has a bot writing replies: > *Foaming from mouth* > Gib…more…money….

@JonnyRoot_ Make it Irish triplets

I’m the richest man in the world.

@UltimateTrad8r @ThinkAppraiser Extending the wall could be cheap too.

@ThinkAppraiser Cheapest way is smaller fridge That will at least look better

How would you fix this?

@dawsmik @ThinkAppraiser Even if its a rental, its cheap and easy to extend the wall.

@ThinkAppraiser Rental, smaller fridge. My house, extend the wall.

@Pastor_Stan_831 Good luck, get better.

Heading to the hospital early tomorrow morning for my 3rd cancer-related surgery. Surgery is at 6:30 AM, and while my surgeon has explained the risks, there are always potential complications afterward. I’m feeling anxious and can’t sleep, so I humbly ask for your prayers for safe travels, healing, and peace. Thank you for standing with us.

@rasmuzzen Congratulations! Having kids is the best. The world needs more people.

Jeg er 61 år. Min datter er 33. I nat blev jeg morfar. 4,4 kg.

This should be a think in America.

@RoweTandi @Brink_Thinker I hope it does catch on; he convinced me, I'll do it too.

@Brink_Thinker My son saw this on a video years ago so this is how he crosses the street or parking lots. He just says “they do this in Japan”. Doesn’t matter how many times I explain we are in Oklahoma and NOT Japan he just says “it’ll catch on”. He’s 7.

What the hell do they teach Japanese kids? It's going viral!

@MetaMask Cybersecurity needs to become more offensive and take down criminals.

wallet security is not an option when you're your own bank. it's a requirement. MetaMask is ranked as the #1 most secure wallet. 👇

This would be an epic April Fools.

@Grunt2A I just ordered mine

Now that Artemis II has launched we have 10 days to get everyone on Earth a Planet of the Apes costume so we can do something hilarious when the astronauts return 😁