@emilykmay It often is miserable. But you know the main thing that makes it less miserable? More support.
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Robin Rivendell
361 posts
Robin Rivendell
@Robinrivendell
Tolkien fan, mom, and liker of tweets.
เข้าร่วม Mart 2026
179 กำลังติดตาม63 ผู้ติดตาม
feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place when I talk about raising a disabled child, bc parents need more support and it's hard to advocate for that without describing what it involves.
but you describe it and ppl are like, "sounds like a miserable life."
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@emilykmay @ThymeToBeBorn Same! But my son just has as an unusually cheerful disposition.
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@ThymeToBeBorn definitely not saying this is the norm, but I would say my disabled daughter is happy more often than my typical kids. my typical kids are MUCH whinier 😂
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People are saying their disabled kids are happy and I just don't believe you, my non disabled kids aren't happy. I mean their lives are objectively privileged and blessed but someone's always crying, always upset, feelings are hurt, disappointments, frustrations, fears, tired, etc. Their upset certainly seems greater than their joy.
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@___mithrandir_ @AnimeAugsburg Don’t you mean General Li?
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@AnimeAugsburg This test be like
"Do you support your local community?"
"Yes, generally"
"Well look at General Lee over here lol"
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🎶 If the South woulda won, we woulda had it made
I'd probably run for President of the Southern States… 🎶
Kaiser von Lohengramm@KaiserLoengramm
Hail Jefferson Davis.
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@ThymeToBeBorn Technically, you don’t need modern science. The two seeds theory of conception came about during the late Middle Ages, competing with the homunculus view. It turned out to be correct with the discovery of sperm in the 1600s.
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And in fact to know that the soul enters at conception, is only something one could believe with a modern scientific understanding, and not with the more intuitive methods used by ancient peoples.
ThymeToBeBorn@ThymeToBeBorn
@GraniRau There is absolutely a "Biblical" case to be made that the soul enters with the breath.
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@deaflibertarian When they mean to insult you but end up complementing you. He’s right you do have good skin.
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Preserved Cucurbita (Pepo Squash) from the Middle Archaic Sharrow site in Central Maine, dated ca. 6320-5695 B.P. (roughly 4320-3695 B.C.E.). It's the oldest known squash in the Northeast.
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@deaflibertarian Yeah I cried after that phone call. How could anyone want to kill my sweet baby.
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@deaflibertarian After my son was born Deaf, we were given a genetic consult and discovered that my husband and I both have a recessive gene for it. Our geneticist told us not to worry that we can test our next baby and that we qualify for free termination. Can you believe that?
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@emilykmay I think we understand that parenting is lifelong but caregiving isn’t supposed to be. That’s whats hard to accept. There’s a special kind of grief knowing I might still be changing my son’s diapers when he’s 20.
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life is brutal and scary and anything could happen, but "don't have kids unless you're prepared to have a kid that you would have to care for until your dying day" is a crazy thing to say as an abstract.
what is true is, "kids are not accessories, parenting is lifelong."
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@ThymeToBeBorn There’s nothing worse than vomiting from a migraine, barely able to open my eyes but I still have to keep my disabled kid, whose doesn’t understand that mom is sick and that he shouldn’t tackle me, alive, fed and reasonably clean.
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Most of my adult life has been "caregiving" of some sort, and I expect it to be until I'm too old to do it, as my MIL and I are like Ruth and Naomi and also my own mother (the fathers are more troublesome, but I love them too). However, when we speak of the dignity of being cared for, it is awful how undignified things can get if the caregiver becomes ill.
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@TXtater95 @viva_thevillage @ThymeToBeBorn Yeah, that’s the problem is how mixed it all is. The main reason we’re living in a very expensive area is because not only do they have services for my son but they are also one of the few places in the country that has a day program and a group home for Deaf disabled adults.
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@viva_thevillage @ThymeToBeBorn Depends where you live. I would say most of the group homes are understaffed and incompetent, but there are some good ones. Certified family homes can be a better option. If family can check in on their wellbeing regularly, rates of abuse and mistreatment go down substantially.
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@ChristianityOn Yes, as an former archeologist this is correct. Although I would add that a surprising amount of cultures were also totally fine will killing perfectly healthy children too. Children being seen as valuable as adults is actually pretty rare historically.
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If you look at most societies throughout time and the world, keeping your unwanted and disabled children alive is very obviously not the natural default. Culling disabled and feeble children seems barbaric to us only because we live in a very weird society.
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Because for reasons probably linked to survival, the thing that most people value about other people is their utility and potential for utility and disabled people often have negative utility. To override this default programming you need strong ideological commitments.
Samantha D.@Prolife_Sam
Why is it so hard for non-Christians to value the disabled?
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@seldomtweet @realLPBeria Same, I don’t know how but I’m here for it.
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@realLPBeria My algorithm’s getting really wild
Not saying this discussion doesn’t pique my interest, but how did this get in my TL?
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I’ve found *the* single most embarrassing patristic passage—one which everyone in the church found waaay too awkward to discuss until Bayle and Voltaire dug it up.
It’s Augustine’s defense of polyamory.
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@mrobdoesitall @MadelaineLucyH Yeah, it not a bad analogy but I don’t think it works because men are much stronger than women and we are understandably less confrontational.
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I would fucking kill him. Honestly. But I just don't think this is a transferable/comparable scenario for genders. I don't have a single friend I'd be unwilling to fight dirty with if they stole from my plate, let alone attempted to violate in such an extreme way. Cowards like this seek out people physically weaker than them. Fully understand a ladies reasoning.
Now if I was a young child and a man did that to me I can definitely understand where you're coming from on a more visceral and personal level. It's also why I am confident about the veracity of boys/now young men in Leaving Neverland.
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Alright lads, as theory of mind is a challenge, let’s make this about you.
Tonight, you go to watch a football match and your best friend, who you know, like and have had amazing times with, pins you to the wall of the bathroom and rapes you. He tells you he’ll tell everyone you’re gay and cheating on your girlfriend with him if you say anything or don’t act normal.
He’s going to be at your wedding, he’s going to be at all your get togethers, he knows your fiancée, he knows your parents, he works with you.
Do you see why some men don’t block him?
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@thatbloodybird @memeticsisyphus @OsborneInk This is correct. It also has the idea of sin but not repentance.
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@memeticsisyphus @OsborneInk I’m moderately convinced by the argument that progressivism is a sort of Christian heresy. It takes the concept of all people being equal in dignity and alike *as imago dei,* strips out the latter bit, and so then to try and figure out how everyone is secularly basically the same
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The rich inner life of the Iranian morality police harassing a little girl?
Gio獅@TheSportProhet
The veil women here are presented as ghost like figures, denied genuine interiority. They appear primarily through the protagonist's gaz. We are invited into Marjane's fears, desires, frustrations, and political development, but the veil women are seldom granted a comparable inner life. Their political commitments appear self-evident, irrational, or socially imposed than historically produced. they can come across as figures existing outside history. The secular, cosmopolitan protagonist possesses interiority; the veil woman has no inner life.
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@lefthandedehud @not_our_guy Ha, why am I not surprised?
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@not_our_guy I just found out too that this wife is a boss babe Illustrator and designer who runs her own website and shop, and has a decent Instagram following.
And so once again, he is one of those who online is against the very things he is. It never fails.
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Jolly Brawler displaying that he is spiritually homosexual for Michael Spangler, explaining to us that he wouldn't attend Spangler's whites only church because his wife is brown 😂
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@not_our_guy “We will both be apart of the church triumphant” is an unfortunate spelling mistake.
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@lisavsworld He didn’t know about the helicopters! I had to sperg out for a moment.
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@ChristianityOn Yep, this is exactly where I’m at. My life is difficult and kinda awful in many ways because of my son. I never wanted this or would have chosen it. But he’s still a valuable person who is worthy of life.
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You can say every single one of these things and also "And still, you should not kill your disabled child, despite all of these very bad things that will probably happen."
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I think this discourse would get less cursed if we put up front that raising a child with disabilities is often hard, thankless, financially draining, and often does not have much of a silver lining.
bunnie@CuriousBunnie12
I feel like even if they are well meaning, all the people posting their disabled relatives as inspirational “gotcha” stories is gross
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