Zed_Colonel

No one should be immune from the sharp tongue of the true satirist

imagine if Jesus was an alien and all the miracles and stuff was just alien stuff

She leans down to give you a kiss and calls you her big man >>>

this is a great casting choice tbh

Weaponized autism

im never gonna be able to retire but im never gonna be out of a job either

What the fuck…

2023: Corona ended 2026: Hantavirus

The issue with the Odyssey is they won't let it be adapted faithfully today. It's not allowed so Nolan's talents are wasted on it because the stupid elements will ultimately ruin the good elements. What he should have done instead that could correspond the with the current rules

@gatorgar Likely right. Modern COINTELPRO style activities

I see people saying “all the conspiracy theories have come true” pretty often, which I find interesting because so many of them remain completely unproven, and some have absolutely been disproven. So it’s like a conspiracy theory about all conspiracy theories being true, which itself just so happens to be false. It would be smarter to admit that, and focus on the ones that have been confirmed or have some good merit to them, because lumping the demonstrably impossible ones in with the plausible ones actually hurts their legitimacy. Here’s one for you: I think that’s on purpose. My conspiracy theory is that many of the conspiracy theorist content creators are part of a misinformation campaign designed to delegitimize the conspiracy theories which are most likely to be true or confirmed by flooding the space with easily debunked garbage. That way the average person is inclined to reject all alternative views due to the stigma alone.

@ChampionsOTIce2 As someone who finally met my shy tomboy (she was a high school athlete), I can confirm that it’s great

@Notanormie15 @Cernovich @0xAlaric That’ll come when he gets a little older, right now he’s not even 3.5, he can’t self-regulate yet. He just keeps coming until he’s too exhausted to move

@Zed_Colonel @Cernovich @0xAlaric Let him "win" every now and then or he'll get bored and lose interest

When your kids turn 3 or so, tell them to run. It’s perfect form. Falling forward, arms moving, striking on toes. When grappling, they keep their weight on hips, move like cats. Sit down schools really mess it all up. Adults pay big money to relearn what was once natural.

@rdolmedo_ This shit goes crazy in claude code 😭

@LemmySmackett Compelling

At the end of their whirlwind first date, Tony and Vanessa retire to her bedroom. “Oh God,” she moans as he suckles her neck. “That Kraken Crunch Chalupa was sublime! Who knew calamari pairs so well with peanut butter and a Baja Blast?” “Live Más,” Tony growls in her ear. “But right now, there’s only one creamy sweet seafood I wanna sample.” He unbuttons her blouse, kissing every delicate inch as he descends. Vanessa bites her lip. “Oh, Tony.” On the last button, he yanks her blouse open. “By Kanaloa’s coil!” she cries. With a knowing grin, his head disappears beneath her hiked-up skirt. “W-wait!” She suddenly yelps. Tony’s head pops up like a prairie dog between her shapely thighs. “What’s up?” “I have to warn you,” she mumbles with a bashful blush. “I’m an incredibly clingy lover.” “Don’t worry,” he grins. “I like girls with a tight grip.” “And I get lonely so fast.” “Not with me you won’t.” “And I…” She trails off. “Yes?” She sighs. “I struggle with object permanence.” “Oh. Okay.” Tony blinks. “Well, I’m sure that won’t have any bearing on the next 2 to 3 minutes.” Her heart flutters. “A whole three minutes!” He winks. “For you, I’ll make it three and a half.” “Oh, Tony~” He slips under her skirt again. “Tony?! TONY?! Where did you—” He pops back up. “I’m here. I’m here.” “Oh thank heavens.” She puts a hand on her heaving breast. “I thought you were gone forever.” “Apropos of nothing,” Tony says. “Has a man ever successfully gone down on you? Or anyone, for that matter?” “Well…” Vanessa ponders the question. “Now that you mention it: no.” “Mhm.” “They all 𝒔𝒂𝒚 they’re gonna tongue-punch my 5-layer love taco, but then they disappear into a mysterious void!” Tony nods. "—only to pop back up a few moments later.” “Yes!” She marvels. “How did you know?” He shrugs. “Just a guess.” “Oh Tony, it’s so strange!” She whispers with a hint of fear. “Please promise you won’t ever do something like that.” “Vanessa.” He takes hold of her hand and strokes it, speaking in a gentle, patient voice. “Have you ever tried looking down there?” “Down there?” She blinks. “You mean when a man’s snogging my $5 luxe box?” “Yeah.” “Oh heavens no.” Vanessa shakes her head. “My mother always said it’s rude to stare at people when they eat.” “And let me guess,” he says. “Mother always knows best.” She nods. “Uh-huh. Although it’s odd.” “Odd?” “So odd. When I was young, sometimes I’d hear my mother in the other room with my father.” “Oh?” “And she’d be shouting, ‘Stare into my eyes while you eat it, you sissy paypig-bitch!’” “Uuh.” Vanessa puts a finger to her cheek. “I wonder what that was about.” Tony clears his throat. “Right, well, fortunately, I always carry this.” From his pocket, he produces a small cloth hand puppet with a plastic head. “How adorable!” She says. Tony slips his middle finger into the head, and his index and ring fingers into the arms. “Hello, Vanessa!” The puppet flails, speaking in a high-pitched voice. “Hello, Puppet-Tony!” She waves back. “Oh, he looks just like you!” “My head is 3d printed with Acrylonitrile Butadiene Styrene!” Puppet-Tony informs her. “Now Big Tony here is gonna get to work on your caramel empanada, and I’m gonna keep you company. Okay?” “Okay!” Vanessa beams. Once more, Tony slips beneath her skirt. Vanessa sits on the edge of the bed, grinning ear to ear. “Oh, this is exciting. I’ve never dated a puppet bef—” Her eyes go wide. “Oh. Oh!” Her fingers claw into the bed, crumpling the sheets. Puppet-Tony wiggles his arms. “What’s up, Vanessa?” “Oh Puppet-Tony,” she pants. “Something very strange is going on!” She tries not to squirm. “I think there’s a squid in my panties!” “Don’t be silly, Vanessa!” Puppet-Tony squeaks. “That’s just my tongue!” “Your tongue?” She writhes, struggling not to slip off the bed. “But it’s so deep! How can you talk when it’s so deep~” “That’s easy.” Puppet-Tony flings his tiny arms high. “I’m a ventriloquist!” --- [r][title: The Disappearing Act]

Beware the scorned autist

@baltic_dan Art-hogging

I would take such good care of the right slutty chubby arthoe

@agenda2033 For real

This is how I feel around normies

@jimrandomh The harsh truth is that simple gradient-based alignment works remarkably well and has scaled over multiple orders of magnitude. Most of the worries about AI alignment from ~2010 era less wrong can be fixed by "here have you tried doing the simplest possible thing?" and it just

@michaelmalice You left out my handsome reflection

best idea I ever had

Always has been.