I Drink Your MILKSHAKE

@OurShallowState Don't forget Blanche professing his love for Trump

Trump got played. Not so much by Iran, but by his desperate craving for grandiosity and by extension - his gargantuan mouth. His spin is nauseatingly drenched in hypocrisy. Hegseth's creepy "glory to God" zealotry this morning is the cherry atop the hypocrisy.

@mmpadellan Megyn Kelly is just chapped that Trump DIDN'T glass Tehran like he promised. She's a seriously sick bitch.

Never thought I'd see the day when I agree with Tucker Carlson, Megyn Kelly, Candace Owens, and Marjorie Taylor Greene... ... but they're ALL calling for the 25th Amendment to be invoked to remove trump from office. What a bizarre moment in time.

@JoJoFromJerz You just can't appreciate America's Golden age

Trump tore up the Iran deal, started bombing Iran, and then gave Iran a better deal than they had before he started bombing them. Anyone else sick of all the winning?

100 billion galaxies each containing 100 billion stars, and God is partial to the current population of a piece of one continent on one planet among trillions. We know this is true because we have a book written by bronze age goat herders that says so.

Is America's golden age in the room with us

@heyakash_ai I prefer "it seemed awkward to keep showing up after they fired me".

DURING JOB INTERVIEW: "Why are you leaving your current role?" Most candidates say: "I am looking for more growth opportunities and a better company culture." THE WINNING ANSWER:

@Scaramucci @joncoopertweets ART OF THE DEAL

Actual quotes from President Trump: Trump’s “victory timeline” claims. Mar 3: "We won the war." Mar 7: "We defeated Iran." Mar 9: "We must attack Iran." Mar 9: "The war is ending almost completely, and very beautifully. March 10: practically nothing left to target Mar 11: “You never like to say too ⁠early you won. We won. In ​the first hour it was over.” Mar 12: "We did win, but we haven't won completely yet." Mar 13: "We won the war." Mar 14: "Please help us." Mar 15: "If you don't help us, I will certainly remember it." Mar 16: "Actually, we don't need any help at all." Mar 16: "I was just testing to see who's listening to me." Mar 16: "If NATO doesn't help, they will suffer something very bad." Mar 17: "We neither need nor want NATO's help." Mar 17: "I don't need Congressional approval to withdraw from NATO." Mar 18: "Our allies must cooperate in reopening the Strait of Hormuz." Mar 19: "US allies need to get a grip - step up and help open the Strait of Hormuz." Mar 20: "NATO are cowards." Mar 21: "The Strait of Hormuz must be protected by the countries that use it. We don't use it, we don't need to open it." Mar 22: "This is the last time. I will give Iran 48 hours. Open the strait" Mar 22: "Iran is Dead" Mar 23: "We had very good and productive talks with Iran." Mar 24: "We’re making progress." Mar 25: “They gave us a present and the present arrived today. And it was a very big present worth a tremendous amount of money. I’m not going to tell you what that present is, but it was a very significant prize.” Mar 26: "Make a deal, or we’ll just keep blowing them away." Mar 27: "We don’t have to be there for NATO." Mar 28: No major quote Mar 29: Claimed talks were progressing Mar 30: "Open the Strait of Hormuz immediately, or face devastating consequences." Mar 31: Claimed a deal was "very close" and that Iran would "do the right thing" Apr 1: "We’ll see what happens very soon." Apr 2: Repeated that a deal was likely, while warning of continued strikes if not Apr 3: "Something big is going to happen." Apr 4: Said Iran must comply "immediately" or face further consequences. Apr 5: "Open the fuckin' Strait, you crazy bastards, or you'll be living in Hell - JUST WATCH! Praise be to Allah." April 6 :a whole civilization will die April 7: total and complete victory April8: objectives were met A true disaster

@Banana3Stocks Trump: Iranians have no form of communication

$SPY $QQQ 🍌 NEWS: Trump: Peace talks to start in Pakistan very soon - NYP.

@Banana3Stocks Trump: COVID is a hoax

@Banana3Stocks Trump: I killed Osama bin Laden

@K_the_2nd @SpencerHakimian @Marston1889 So on brand that every one of those screeds was riddled with broken grammar

@SpencerHakimian @Marston1889 Can confirm: TruthSocial maga are pissed

I just went on Truth Social and Holy Shit They’re mad at Orange Jesus Walls are caving in tonight.

@SpencerHakimian @campos10_lcia

@JoshMalina Whoa check out the child prodigy over here. Next you're going to tell us you have an even number of chromosomes like some libtard.

I didn’t go to college at age 60. I was like 18.

@xCH3CKMAT3x @JamieBonkiewicz

@JamieBonkiewicz Lets be real with each other, they are much happier than we are lol

You know what’s fucking insane? There are actually people in the United States right now that have ZERO clue what even went down today.

@JoJoFromJerz Don't forget they also fucked up significant pieces of energy infrastructure throughout the Middle East that'll take years to restore.

We lost 13 troops. Injured hundreds more. Killed thousands of Iranians, including school children. Used hundreds of millions of our tax dollars. Damaged our bases in the region and countless aircraft. Sent gas prices through the roof here and abroad. And we got what exactly?

@saltsugarsexsun @crunchyrugger And the Daffy Duck school of winning

@crunchyrugger Trump went to the Bugs Bunny School of Negotiating.

Trump: do as I say, or I will bomb you back to the stone ages Iran: best I can do is this 10 point plan where you give us everything we want Trump: deal! FoxNews: Trump is a master negotiator

@JoJoFromJerz @MeidasTouch @IAmSophiaNelson I feel like maybe the president of the United States threatening legal action against a media outlet for reporting a factual statement that he dislikes might be some sort of crime

@MeidasTouch @IAmSophiaNelson Well if anything confirms CNNs reporting it’s this.

BREAKING: Donald Trump is attacking CNN after the network aired the full statement from Iran’s Supreme National Security Council saying it achieved a “great victory” and forced the U.S. to accept its 10-point plan. In a furious response, Trump called CNN’s reporting a “FRAUD” and demanded a retraction, and said "authorities are looking to determine whether or not a crime was committed"—despite the network simply relaying Iran’s official statement.

@gtconway3d If I went into a salary negotiation, grabbed the CEO's secretary & held a gun to her head, screaming I'LL KILL THIS BITCH IF I DON'T GET A 30% BUMP...If later it came out I had no real intention to kill anyone, I suppose everyone would know me as a famously shrewd negotiator.

He's just completely insane.

@RetroCoast We have a national toilet paper supply?

Breaking: A massive fire has engulfed the Kimberly-Clarke warehouse storing half of America's toilet paper supply Store shelves may soon be bare (No, this is not satire)