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No joke: there’s an open bar at this funeral because my grandpa put in his wishes to make sure there is one. Honestly A+ Doug
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David Steele
284 posts
David Steele
@heydavidsteele
writer/performer who has bad bones
Brooklyn, NY เข้าร่วม Aralık 2012
162 กำลังติดตาม219 ผู้ติดตาม
David Steele รีทวีตแล้ว
OooOoOoooooo a week from today oooOoOoOOo
@GraceGFreud @autogynefiles @okayclare @Feldfrog gara! @justinmlinville @heydavidsteele @ComedyBrooklyn
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@TheJakeChristie @elblancojz @cd5476 @AnthonyCanton_3 Hmph go ahead and get the hat and see how long till I trek to Queens with a cranky child who I can ensure will take it off your head and stomp on it. #baseballtoocoldinjaxnow
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@elblancojz @cd5476 @AnthonyCanton_3 Never mind then. My friend @heydavidsteele (rarely on Twitter these days) resented the name change because he loved the jingle “Baseball’s never been hotter!”
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In case y’all were looking for a minor league baseball team @TheJakeChristie @AnthonyCanton_3 and I forgot jerome’s new account lol
Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp@JaxShrimp
Are you a hero or a villain? Journey with us Into The... Shrimpverse today on Comic Hero Day featuring the eeeeevil Dr. Cocktail Sauce and our hero Capt. Crustacean- The Bold City Defender
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Who are the musical comedians in NYC now ?? Tag tag tag baby
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The real joy of my job is booking flights and 5 star hotels for people younger than me.
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I’m trying to save enough box tops to send my daughter to Harvard.
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I’ve lived in NYC for almost 3 years and still haven’t met Delilah
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A co-worker said “treat yo self” 3+ times in the elevator and that’s impressive.
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My boss told me I look sadder than usual so that's nice to know.
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Got in trouble for being 10 minutes late to work but I made sure to point out that compared to most days, that's on time.
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I saw someone smoking a juul on a skateboard ON A SUBWAY PLATFORM. And I’m dangerously turned on.
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I grew up living in a trailer but it was actually double wide so I practically lived in a mansion.
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My Dad calls me "little buddy" and that's about it for this tweet.
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I get a power trip from locking eye contact with dogs as they poop.
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