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Just as a recap for anyone who needs to be told:
1) No, you didn't miss jury duty, and you don't need to pay $10,000 at a "@Bitcoin bonding kiosk" at the gas station to not be arrested.
2) If a "cop" is asking you for money over the phone or Internet, it is a lie. Please call 911 to verify.
3) @elonmusk is not your bestie and does not want your investment money
4) If you have a "girlfriend" that you've never met whose webcam is always "broken" who asks you to deposit checks for "her", you do not have a girlfriend. You have a Nigerian money launderer.
5) No, you are not a secret operative for the bank, or the FBI, or the @SecretService, or any other government agency.
6) Don't buy crypto from @boneGPT, it is probably a scam.
7) If someone "accidentally" refunded you too much money, you do not need to send it back to "save their job". They're an Indian in a call center trying to screw you over using a stolen account and your kindness.
8) You are ugly as hell and uninteresting, there is no way that someone that attractive randomly messaged you on the Internet because your posts were "so alluring".
9) You did not win @tetsuo's latest @xai contest, there is no prize money, you do not need to pay an insurance fee to reserve it, and he does not need your social security number.
10) The girl who sent you an unsolicited nude is not a girl, not 17, and the person you are talking to is not her father. You were not called by a cop. Similarly, you are not required to pay any medical bills from a fake car crash.
11) If your "boyfriend" you never met is a construction worker in Dubai, a worker on an oil rig, or a real estate agent in Bali, they are not your boyfriend. They are a 20 year old Ghanaian in a net cafe. They also did not get mugged or lose their passport.
12) Your computer doesn't have a virus, and if it did you would not be getting calls or emails from the people who can fix it. It will have a virus if you listen to them, though. If you're worried, take it to the @StaplesStores or something, don't download random nonsense.
13) You are not working remotely as a "package inspector"- you are laundering stolen @amazon packages for a bunch of Russian and Ukrainian scammers in Delaware.
14) The @FBI isn't going to call you and ask you to send them @BestBuy gift cards to "protect your assets from seizures."
15) The jail is not going to call you and ask for bail money for your grandkid. Your sleazy grandkid will call you themselves if they want bail money. More importantly, you'll have to go to the jail to pay it. No, the cost does not "go up" if you take too long getting to the jail. The government isn't a vacation rental. They also don't take bail over @CashApp or @Venmo
16) Don't send pictures of your penis online, no matter how hot they are. Do not then proceed to include a picture of your face with a picture of your penis. Should you have done so, don't send the Nigerian man a ransom to not post your cock online. You'll be fine - they're probably not going to actually send it to anyone, and if they do no one will give a crap anyway.
17) When in doubt, remember - if it involves a crypto kiosk at a gas station, any financial instrument you can buy at a @Walgreens, CashApp, or Zelle, it is almost certainly a scam.
M|A|R|K|U|S@SleepyCovfefe
Seriously. Guys, call your grandmothers, impressionable relatives, and porn addicted incel cousins and tell them not to fall for this shit.
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