David

@juliesacunt If that sucked for you maybe don’t go to season 6 for a bit. The opening is brutal, the middle is depressing and the ending is…well

Finished btvs s5. Feeling #depressed and #suicidal

@FirstDoctor Makes me happy for a couple of hours.

Alcohol has no single benefit. Zero. Not one.

@readswithravi Have you ever seen a tweet and thought ‘I’m sure I’ve seen this tweet several dozen times before’?

Have you ever read a book by an author that was so good it made you want to read everything else they've written?

@millanmeshack1 @jacksettleman I started watching football long enough ago to know that Cristiano isn't even the best Ronaldo.

@jacksettleman Guys who started watching football in 2020 will assume Messi is better than Ronaldo. Bro we started watching football while you were still in your mother's womb. If they televise things Ronaldo has done to football you might change your mind. Messi doesn't get close

What’s the argument for Ronaldo over Messi at this point?

@novainest Catcher in the Rye is the classic example of this for me. Read it too early and you won’t get it, read it too late and you’ll find Holden insufferable. But get it at the right time and you’ll love it.

i think some books are meant to be consumed at a certain age and in a certain moment in time trying to experience them years later as a completely different person just isn’t the same

@AndyBurnhamGM Man you might become the PM but those of us who have memories going back further than breakfast remember what a spineless, on ineffectual MP you were. I assume we’ll get more of the same. Thanks to your hubris we will get more Tory rule very soon. You suck.

Keir has given huge service to our country and I want to thank him for his leadership and dedication during such a challenging period. His decision marks the beginning of a transition and it is important that this process is conducted in an orderly and responsible way. I will put myself forward as part of this process. The country expects stability, seriousness and a continued focus on the issues that matter most and that is what it will get. As we move forward, our priority must be to work together to get the country back to where we all want it to be. People want to see progress on economic growth, cost of living, public services, housing and opportunities for the next generation. Political change should never distract from the responsibility to improve people's lives. The Labour movement has always been at its strongest when it looks forward with confidence and purpose. This is what we will do from here and we will make sure this transition is a positive process of renewal for our party and our country.

@AuthorGFAllen Roberto Bolaño

For people who read A LOT: which writer do you think is unbelievably good with words?

@FeelGoodMovez I’ve been sleeping for nearly 45 years, I sleep the way I sleep; I’m not changing.

Wrong vs. Correct Sleeping Positions

@baggiedave70 @hrryyclifford Because nothing in this country was designed to deal with that temperature. Apartment buildings weren't, tube/trains/buses weren't, supermarkets weren't (during the last heatwave every supermarket near me had a freezer malfunction), offices weren't.

@hrryyclifford We spend thousands to go abroad for those temperatures. Yet moan when we get them here.

anyone else getting # scared about the temperature for tuesday & wednesday? what do you mean 39° on wednesday…?

@EdgeCGroup Even without the message, getting anyone to watch Taken is a win.

My daughter asked why so many young people want to backpack across Europe. I asked why she doesn’t. She said, “Because you made me watch Taken when I was little.” Parenting: 1 Backpacking: 0 #ProudDad

@nick0se @Zwxsh It’s childish and it appeals to little boys who think swearing is cool.

@Zwxsh Does he think he’s funny? Or cool?

Reporter: "No F-bombs please." Corentin Moutet: "Fuck fuck fuck." Reporter: "I'm gonna ask you one more question so please keep it clean, okay?" Corentin Moutet: "Fuck fuck fuck."

@deriniko9 Lou Reed

Görünüşe göre, sağ beyni kullanırsan bir tavşan görüyorsun ve sol beyni kullanırsan bir kaplumbağa görüyorsun. Ne görüyorsun?

@MikeBales My Dad keeps telling my daughter he loves her. He has two kids he has never said that to.

She handed my kids cookies before dinner, let them stay up too late, and said “just one more cartoon” after I already said no. I laughed and asked, “Why were you so strict with me growing up, but so soft with them now?” She looked at my children, smiled, and said, “Because when you’re raising your own kids, you’re trying to build a life. When you’re loving your grandkids, you’re simply enjoying it.” And honestly… that hit me hard. The rules got softer, but the love got deeper. Maybe grandparents aren’t trying to spoil our children. Maybe they’re trying to give them the gentleness they didn’t always have time to give us.

@softbutmadd Damn, that lady has not aged a day. When was this taken? 2005?

amy acker <3 and everyone else too i just haven’t seen her in a while

@demiurgently Do it now. Before the clingy stage kicks in.

@CoachDanGo My daughter was born when I was 43. Feel like I’ve just started a whole new life, everything before this was someone else’s life. I’m less than 1 year old.

I feel bad for people who think turning 40 is old. I'm 46 and I feel like I'm just getting started.

@heyy_adam_ You got this Adam. She’ll be fine. They are this wonderful mix of delicate and tough as nails.

@David_Michael_C Oh wow. Thank you for the kind words David

We are heading to urgent care right now… My almost 5 day old hasn’t had a bowel movement in 24 hours accompanied by jaundice (which we already knew), she also hasn’t had 2 good feeds in a row. We’re just going to see what’s wrong. Please keep us in your prayers.

@BerisfordRon Wizard and Glass, or The Gunslinger, or The Drawing of the Three.

What is your favourite Stephen King book?🤓

@AMP86793444 Fleming as a captain.

Just as the news of Kane Williamson’s retirement is sinking in, i was thinking if he is the best ever New Zealander to play cricket? Who do you think is the best cricketer ever from NZ?