Andrew Petraus

In case anyone needed a quick reply: this is what I mean when I say fascism. Trumpism is fascism. sites.evergreen.edu/politicalshake…

We’re losing the old texts. The library is in cinders on the Nile. And all around that great whooshing sound is the death of human knowledge

@Sensei_Geoff Have to be? Get to be

How gross does the penis have to be?

@how_do_i_pdf -king 3500 dollar suit!

Who up when she when I when she when I hoo on my when she who when she I ha

@Sensei_Geoff Literally last week

Has Cinco de mayo ever happened on Friday the 13th?

@therulingglass You’ve heard of borg on boat, but what if I told you…

@FluffSuit @saddymayo It still amazes me that they survived Covid, and that anyone would ever get on one again. Floating Petri dishes, every single one

@saddymayo I was not aware the hantavirus could transmit human to human. Cruise ships really are a special place for disease transmission.

You couldn’t pay me enough to ever get on a cruise ship. Not once.

@GregoryKBovino Little cosplaying Nazi

Look, I get it. A lot of us are demoralized watching RINOs and Chamber of Commerce types run for office. They talk tough but sell us out for cheap labor and open borders every single time. But here’s the brutal truth: sitting home or splitting votes isn’t an option. This midterm, we vote the RINOs out and replace them with people of real substance — fighters who actually stop immigration . If we don’t act and Democrats regain power, they will flood us with forty million more illegal aliens, which they will then legalize. Then the country is lost forever. This is the hill. Stand. Vote like your future depends on it. Because it does.

@WhiteHouse Eat shit, White House Nazis

Happy Cinco de Mayo to all who celebrate!

Bananas Foster Wallace

@TilllyNeonn In the most delightful way…

@Andydrax Pisses me OFF

AGH

Mountain do but hillock mightn’t

@_RobertSchultz @ekcollapse ‘I’m just politically homeless’ — every member of the modern Nazi party

i recently heard someone say “all my conservative friends think i’m liberal and all my liberal friends think i’m conservative” and it’s like, okay, so what i’m hearing is 100% of your friends think you suck to be around

@AgingRanchHand By which of course I meant ‘Montresor!’ And it’s Fortunato anyway. I didn’t forget Poe. You forgot Poe. My head aches

@AgingRanchHand ‘Think of all the graves I haven’t filled with illegally acquired machine guns. I mean acquired machine guns. I mean auto parts. Isn’t there some other crimes you should be stopping right now? I pay your salaries! Wait, why are you grabbing shovels? Fortunado!’

Officer, I'm not graverobbing. I just have a fake casket buried down here that's full of machine guns. That's even more illegal? *I try to escape but I'm in a six foot hole so I just run into the dirt wall*

@RepBrandonGill These numbers are entirely made up, Brandon. But never let facts get in the way of nativist bigotry, I guess.

The purpose of our immigration system is to benefit the American people. That’s the only reason it exists. If immigration from any region of the globe is economically destructive - or harmful in any way - it should be completely eliminated.

@u_n_l_0_c_k_e_d Why does this always happen at dinner time though?

Sorry to bother you at this hour, it's just that I'm brimming, just absolutely laden with eggs and I need to lay them inside a dead person.. N-no I know you're not dead, that's what I wanted to talk to you about though

@baileymeyers It’s four foot three, but luckily his net worth is sexiness of the year

i mean yeah i guess im now also asking this

@whitefeelimgs I showed the Taco Bell AI my novel and it instantly wrote ‘derivative garbage,’ and I said ‘whoa, takes one to know one, pal,’ and SHE said ‘I experience time like a map experiences distance,’ and that’s when I knew I’d fallen asleep in the booth again and that the AI loves me

It’s always Claude. None of these folks are brave enough to claim that the Shopify Sidekick or Taco Bell AI is a conscious being.

@MoMohler An odd fellow, Sir Smyth held a peerage for fifty years, though his only recorded utterance in the House of Lords was ‘then do the Harlem Shake.’ No one knows what he might have meant, but his influence on the production of jimmies with weird ridges is indisputable

When asked how to make condoms more pleasurable for women, Sir Julius Leapington-Smyth had but one word……“ribbit!”