Andrew Petraus

11K posts

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Andrew Petraus

Andrew Petraus

@Andydrax

I’m just an undressed salad who wants the end of theocratic fascism. one foot in silly Twitter, the other in the rest. pronouns in bio

Katılım Şubat 2024
276 Takip Edilen227 Takipçiler
Punchmaster
Punchmaster@Sensei_Geoff·
How gross does the penis have to be?
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k (top 99% on OF)
k (top 99% on OF)@how_do_i_pdf·
Who up when she when I when she when I hoo on my when she who when she I ha
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Punchmaster
Punchmaster@Sensei_Geoff·
Has Cinco de mayo ever happened on Friday the 13th?
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Andrew Petraus
Andrew Petraus@Andydrax·
@FluffSuit @saddymayo It still amazes me that they survived Covid, and that anyone would ever get on one again. Floating Petri dishes, every single one
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Jack Schitt 🇵🇸
Jack Schitt 🇵🇸@FluffSuit·
@saddymayo I was not aware the hantavirus could transmit human to human. Cruise ships really are a special place for disease transmission.
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Gregory K Bovino
Gregory K Bovino@GregoryKBovino·
Look, I get it. A lot of us are demoralized watching RINOs and Chamber of Commerce types run for office. They talk tough but sell us out for cheap labor and open borders every single time. But here’s the brutal truth: sitting home or splitting votes isn’t an option. This midterm, we vote the RINOs out and replace them with people of real substance — fighters who actually stop immigration . If we don’t act and Democrats regain power, they will flood us with forty million more illegal aliens, which they will then legalize. Then the country is lost forever. This is the hill. Stand. Vote like your future depends on it. Because it does.
Gregory K Bovino tweet media
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The White House
The White House@WhiteHouse·
Happy Cinco de Mayo to all who celebrate!
The White House tweet media
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Andrew Petraus
Andrew Petraus@Andydrax·
Mountain do but hillock mightn’t
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Robert Schultz
Robert Schultz@_RobertSchultz·
i recently heard someone say “all my conservative friends think i’m liberal and all my liberal friends think i’m conservative” and it’s like, okay, so what i’m hearing is 100% of your friends think you suck to be around
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Andrew Petraus
Andrew Petraus@Andydrax·
@AgingRanchHand By which of course I meant ‘Montresor!’ And it’s Fortunato anyway. I didn’t forget Poe. You forgot Poe. My head aches
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Andrew Petraus
Andrew Petraus@Andydrax·
@AgingRanchHand ‘Think of all the graves I haven’t filled with illegally acquired machine guns. I mean acquired machine guns. I mean auto parts. Isn’t there some other crimes you should be stopping right now? I pay your salaries! Wait, why are you grabbing shovels? Fortunado!’
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Mark
Mark@AgingRanchHand·
Officer, I'm not graverobbing. I just have a fake casket buried down here that's full of machine guns. That's even more illegal? *I try to escape but I'm in a six foot hole so I just run into the dirt wall*
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Andrew Petraus
Andrew Petraus@Andydrax·
@RepBrandonGill These numbers are entirely made up, Brandon. But never let facts get in the way of nativist bigotry, I guess.
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Congressman Brandon Gill
Congressman Brandon Gill@RepBrandonGill·
The purpose of our immigration system is to benefit the American people. That’s the only reason it exists. If immigration from any region of the globe is economically destructive - or harmful in any way - it should be completely eliminated.
Congressman Brandon Gill tweet media
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Keys
Keys@u_n_l_0_c_k_e_d·
Sorry to bother you at this hour, it's just that I'm brimming, just absolutely laden with eggs and I need to lay them inside a dead person.. N-no I know you're not dead, that's what I wanted to talk to you about though
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bailey meyers
bailey meyers@baileymeyers·
i mean yeah i guess im now also asking this
bailey meyers tweet media
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Andrew Petraus
Andrew Petraus@Andydrax·
@whitefeelimgs I showed the Taco Bell AI my novel and it instantly wrote ‘derivative garbage,’ and I said ‘whoa, takes one to know one, pal,’ and SHE said ‘I experience time like a map experiences distance,’ and that’s when I knew I’d fallen asleep in the booth again and that the AI loves me
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Andrew Petraus
Andrew Petraus@Andydrax·
@MoMohler An odd fellow, Sir Smyth held a peerage for fifty years, though his only recorded utterance in the House of Lords was ‘then do the Harlem Shake.’ No one knows what he might have meant, but his influence on the production of jimmies with weird ridges is indisputable
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𝑴𝒐 𝑴𝒐𝒉𝒍𝒆𝒓
When asked how to make condoms more pleasurable for women, Sir Julius Leapington-Smyth had but one word……“ribbit!”
𝑴𝒐 𝑴𝒐𝒉𝒍𝒆𝒓 tweet media
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