Brendan AE

@esjesjesj Even if you don’t like Fauci, how does that limp, half-assed excuse for a quip qualify as a “banger”? What is her definition of a “banger”?

What a fucking piece of shit she is

@Y2K_mindset I was the kind of kid who would say “that’s not bacon, that’s the lines representing the hot air” to be funny and get confused and upset when the other kids thought I was serious. Still am, tbh

I remember in school I would point at the actual graphic for the hand dryers in the bathroom and make this joke and nobody would ever understand. One other kid just flatly said to me “that’s not bacon, that’s the lines representing the hot air”

@themartiancarl By his logic, every degree is a graduate degree, so why even append the word “graduate”

Asked a man on Bumble where he got his masters degree and he said “what do you mean I only have a bachelor’s” and I was like “oh well your profile says ‘graduate degree’” and he goes “well yeah bc I graduated with my bachelor’s degree” REOPEN THE SCHOOLS

@EternalNoticer @sweetseaslug Okay, you made me laugh audibly

@AnimalExtender @sweetseaslug Scientist and fantasy creature cooperation. Science fiction plague threatens apocalypse. Scientist figures out a way to lure the plague to where it can be trapped and killed. They're basically the same thing except if rocky turned out to be a rapist at the end

If you liked eating dogshit with your hands try a three course gourmet meal

This is doing a stellar job exposing that some of us can’t comprehend that people in different situations might make different decisions and it’s not because they’re ignoramuses

Option A would guarantee I could pay off all my debts, with money left over to add to my long-term savings. Option B is a 50% chance of nothing. I’m not necessarily saying I’d choose Option A, but I can easily understand why many people would.

Not saying Twitter used to be civil, but I swear there was a time when it wasn’t so common for tweets to attract comments that were unpleasant for no clear purpose

Most people don’t know what the KMT (@kuomintang) did to Taiwanese people during martial law era. My grandparents’ generation lived it. Now the CCP wants to be next. Who the fuck in their free mind would want Taiwan under authoritarians from China again?

@tragicbirdapp I respect this more than when they waste your time by pretending to argue sincerely

@wallaceprower In the Bojack Horseman universe Cameron Crowe is a black bird who’s constantly having to explain to people that he’s actually a raven, despite his surname

@videosinfolder I like the ones that sound like they come from a totally different planet and have been translated into English for our entertainment

@durje666 When the “hi what the freak is this” pic first appeared on this site, I wasted so much time scrutinizing it, trying to figure out what about it I was supposed to be reacting to

"scientists don't want you know" is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know

@Loverism__ The problem with this is that it is just as easy to type “I’d really like to hear the reasoning behind men who won’t take their wife’s last name” and hit post

I'd really like to hear the reasoning behind women who won't take their husband's last name

The secret knowledge of Weird Al is that his pastiches ("Dare to Be Stupid," "Dog Eat Dog," "You Make Me," "Everything You Know is Wrong") are better than the straight-up song parodies. Kyle Gordon understand this.

@LinkofSunshine Actually that’s not a great comparison because Earth in an interstellar community would be a much more cohesive cultural unit than China is for us

@LinkofSunshine After Earth joins the interstellar community people on a planet orbiting Tau Ceti are going to be like, “We got Earth food yesterday, I don’t want to have it again today”

I think about this post literally every day

@jbillinson Obama in a tan suit?

The American mind cannot comprehend this sort of political scandal