Andy Rushton

It would be a nice touch if Labour MPs lever out Keir Starmer using a crowbar made by his dad.

The irony

@321SaZ123 Though to be fair if they had any level of training at all, they wouldn't be working for @TravelodgeUK

Two other guests were so shocked by the treatment that they stepped in as witnesses, with one even explaining the law to staff. Your staff, especially your manager need more training and education around assistance dogs 🐾 and the rights of disabled guests.

Absolutely disgusted by how we were treated at @TravelodgeUK London City Airport. Staff repeatedly refused to allow my registered @HearingDogs into the restaurant and insisted assistance dogs were “not allowed” even after we explained the law.

I've created a Zack Polanski CV generator which refreshes each time it's opened - so every time you see it there's new roles that Zack's worked in …ile-488554318091.europe-west2.run.app

Starmer: "You thought Mandelson was a dodgy appointment? Hold my beer..."

Just found the absolute worst page in the dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest and disingenuous.

@lemon_meringues @elainesim28 A joke's always so much funnier when explained for an 8 year old. Thanks.

@elainesim28 So she’s the one who put him in the hospital.

Please pray for my husband, he got stung by a bee in the forehead. He’s in the hospital now, his face all swollen and bruised. He almost died. Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with a shovel.

@ToStandIsToRise @dailybritainonx Far right? LOL.

@dailybritainonx Yes the bbc has a far right board. Look into Robbie Gibb

A viral post claiming the BBC's Director of News is a former GB News editorial director has been confirmed as accurate. John McAndrew was editorial director of GB News at its launch in 2021 and joined the BBC in 2022. The appointment was controversial at the time. Full story at the link below 👇

@FlexibleFwend @LeeHarris If he concentrates hard, Polanski can turn them into basketballs.

@LeeHarris Trevor Phillips casually playing ping pong with Polanski’s testicles on a Sunday morning. 🏓

Trevor Phillips just DESTROYED Zack Polanski on national TV. This is the first time I've seen an interviewer PROPERLY hold an extreme, far-left politician to account. In a normal world this would permanently end his political career. Utterly DAMNING for Polanski. 🔥

thank you @googlemaps

@birdybrowning @taxspendlib The reviews suggest that it isn't the "ultimate meal solution" after all. Back to the drawing board.

@taxspendlib I was going to accuse you of making it up, then I noticed the company I work for sell it.

Learning that the UK has invented something called "steak canadian" which is something no Canadian has ever eaten

@blazercarl @GillibertLuc @taxspendlib Neither is any trip to France complete without the whole car singing "the Buffalo Grills go Around the Outside" every time you pass one.

@GillibertLuc @taxspendlib You also have Buffalo Grill, a French take on American cuisine. No trip to France is complete without a visit.

The British Vitamin D problem is not new. Britain sits between 50 and 58 degrees north. London is on the same latitude as Calgary. Edinburgh is level with Moscow. From October to March, the sun does not rise high enough above the horizon for the UVB wavelength your skin needs to actually reach the ground. You can stand naked in February noon sunlight on the south coast and produce essentially zero vitamin D. This is six months of the year, every year, for the entire history of human habitation on these islands. The British have known this, in their bones, for ten thousand years. Look at what was eaten in winter, before anyone had ever heard the term cholecalciferol: Oily fish. Herring, mackerel, sprats, kippers. Three or four times a week from October to March. A single kipper carries roughly 250 IU of D3. Cod liver oil. Spooned into every British child between 1850 and 1980, a teaspoon at a time. Distributed free by the Ministry of Food in the war on the explicit understanding that British children needed it through the dark months. Rickets fell by 90 per cent between 1940 and 1960. Cod liver oil was the reason. Liver. Eaten weekly in working households until 1985. Egg yolks from hens that had been outside in the summer. Grass-fed butter, made from cream from cows on summer pasture, the fat-soluble vitamins banked into the cream and eaten through the winter. The British solution to the British problem, evolved over centuries by people who could not articulate the biochemistry but knew, with absolute certainty, what kept the children growing through the dark months. Then between 1955 and 2010, the British removed almost all of them. Cod liver oil reduced to a niche supplement. Liver dropped from weekly to never. Oily fish consumption halved. Eggs rationed by the Department of Health on cholesterol grounds since retracted. Butter replaced with margarine carrying no fat-soluble vitamins at all. Result, by 2020: roughly half of all British adults are vitamin D deficient by the end of winter. A third of children. Rickets has reappeared in British paediatric wards. The NHS now recommends every adult take a supplement from October to March. This is the NHS recommending in 2026 what the British diet was doing automatically in 1926. The geography has not changed. The latitude is the same. The sun is still inadequate from October. The food used to handle it. The kippers are still being smoked at Craster. The cod liver oil is on the chemist's shelf. The liver is at the butcher. The butter is in the dairy aisle, behind the spreads. The sun was always seasonal. The food was the backup. The backup got thrown out. Get it back.

BREAKING NEWS: “Starmer denies knowing he was Prime Minister” Sir Kier Starmer has revealed that no one told him until last Tuesday he won the 2024 election and had become PM. He told Beth Rigby “I was totally kept in the dark by my officials. I’m really angry about it.”

@SimonHarrisMBD Paris Science Museum 1980. A computer running basic without the ESC key disabled. I can only apologise to the other visitors that day who were greeted with "Bonjour Penishead Nipplefeatures". My excuse though is that I was 13.

I’ve been conducting research recently about what you can get away with on Tesco’s handheld scanners, and I’m devastated to confirm that they have now stopped them from displaying a first name. It was great while it lasted …

@dartcharge I'm getting several emails a day telling me that my monthly statement's ready. Exciting news obviously, but there are only so many times I need to be told...

Was looking up what a 'Wireless Festival' was and came across the British Vintage Wireless and Television Museum, which seems rather more to my taste

@ClaudeBall69720 @LeoKearse He could have waited until she managed to get the first punchline out.

@LeoKearse Rumour has it Hitler only started the second world war after enduring 25 minutes of a Rosie Jones stand up routine

Some Green Party fud accused me of being the sort of comedian Hitler would go and see. Come and see me on tour! Some dates close to selling out. Ticket link in bio.

@rickyboleto Will nobody think of the bridge?

Wonder what will happen to the Scott Mills bridge at Welcome Break Fleet Services?

Pretty chuffed with my 0.07% tbh.