Lynn Sherard-Stuhr, BSN, RN

@heartforenglish Appreciate this series of videos sharing what works for you and giving us ideas of how exercise can work for us!

How can I stay the course? Day three You get momentum. It's like catching a wave.

FYI best if one focuses on self-care and therapy. Often without much warning, when you reach age 65 doctors will most likely no longer prescribe many of the medications younger people use for anxiety, sleep and pain. Check the Beers list for medication - all benzos and some popular antidepressants are on the list. So are narcotics. Hopefully there will be medications available for anxiety and pain will have less side effects and better results than what is available now.

"You should take anti-anxiety meds! They made me feel much better." A friend in med school told me this. I was unwilling to, because I was already taking meds for many other things. Plus, I've gotten much better at managing my stress and anxiety. It's not perfect and I do get into panic states sometimes. But I've grown more skilled in coping with them, and surviving them. I'm a therapist, by the way. And I have clients who felt much better since going on anti-anxiety medication. So I'm by no means saying that medication is bad. In fact, it's often most powerful when you do both therapy and medication. Though if I could only pick one, I would choose therapy. Of course I'm biased, though! I admit that a part of my unwillingness is due to pride. I've worked hard to learn these skills. And I can navigate my emotions with much greater ease than before. Would I do better if I had medication to help me? Perhaps. But for now, I'm managing well with therapy, social support, and other strategies. If you have anxiety, how do you manage it? And what do you think about using medication to help you?

Subtle shift in perspective i.e looking at things from a child’s point of view is key. Unfortunately parents usually consider interactions with their children from their adult point of view. They are busy providing for the family or taking care of family business and “doing the I can” thinking this is enough. Enough is being there for a child, listening, supporting, and being a role model of the behavior you want them to absorb-everyday.

Children translate experience into identity. A bad thing happened → I'm bad. I got rejected → I'm unworthy. I'm not loved → I'm unlovable. Distinguish the behavior (what the child does) from the identity (who the child is).

Nope. It is a drug, one most of us could do without. Why get them started on something that will increase anxiety, give them stomach problems, cause muscle tension, and make it difficult to sleep? Any adults with these problems should quit caffeine, but have convinced themselves that caffeine is harmless and instead look for other reasons their health is a mess. Funny how we pick and choose our drugs. Cannabis, alcohol, and caffeine probably cause more harm then vaccines, antibiotics, and blood pressure meds. Yet which are more likely to be resisted?

How do y'all feel about kids having caffeine? (Be honest)

@thebonniebyrne I would not have thought that to be true! I mean we all have a lot of BS to get over, but you are able to express your free spirit and encourage it in the rest of us! You are doing the hard work to be free!

@BoostSelfWorth Soooo much! Such a challenge to let it go though. There’s a lot of sunk cost fallacy values entwined in my identity, it’s a slow dismantling process.

I think UNLEARNING is more relevant than learning. We learn so much crap over the course of our lives and a lot of it becomes invisible to us. We go about our life with all this bullshit we learnt or picked up along the way. It stops us seeing clearly. The more we can unlearn and let go of, the more layers we shed, the purer the essence of who we are and what matters, the closer we get to the real guts of life and how to find the magic. Less self doubt, fear, worry Less fixed beliefs, values Less energy vampires Less self deprecation Less processed food Less mental clutter Less distractions Less self denial Less registry Less dogma The greatest hack and shortcut to a better life is stripping accumulated bullshit. Unlearning. Simplifying. With a cleaner slate we can really consider what we want to learn, AND what will serve us on the road to what we actually give a fuck about.

@_jodygates_ @AliveintheFire Not with me, I hope - I think it was a good post! Thinking out loud often allows other to do the same!

@BoostSelfWorth @AliveintheFire Bah, i already said fine line... treating twitter like a chat program gets me in trouble yet again.

There’s a fine line between doing it yourself and asking for help. Never feel like you’re the only option. Don’t fall for the notion that relying on someone is a weakness. This is about EVERYTHING! Mental health, planting fence posts, starting a business. Ask for help.

I can imagine. Have a go-bag in case I have to evacuate quick because of a fire. I did throw a roll of toilet paper in it. Every time I read something about go-bags or think hard about what would be good to have in it, I add more. Using the backpack I used when travelling around Europe decades ago. It is on the small side, comfortable to carry - perfect for a go-bag. Hard to imagine I spent months tramping around Spain with just this small backpack and a sleeping bag!

@BoostSelfWorth I had fortunately just bought a 6-pack (and it was just me), but it still got a little dicey before I could get more. Thus, the over-stocking now. 😆

Can you believe it's 4 years since back-to-school season during COVID lockdowns? I still have some holdover habits from that period. Like being extra-conservative with paper products (environmental bonus) and buying extra toilet paper. What habits stayed with you since COVID?

@IamMattFontaine Excellent! I have no desire to learn to do pull-ups but this is the best break down on how to become a successful pull-upper!!

If you have never gotten your first pull up yet. Here are 7 progressions to guarantee your first pull up from the easiest variation to the hardest. 1. Deadhangs

@jgriffin_writer Compassion help us understand the impact of grief, neglect, indifference, vulnerability, and death with out having to experience them directly. Compassion helps us heal our past traumas and prepare for those we have yet to experience.

Random thoughts on Being Human: Great suffering is the crucible of great character. Only with grief can we understand joy. Neglect teaches us what it is to be loved. Indifference shows us passion. Vulnerability is necessary for intimacy. Death reveals life.

@AliveintheFire Insights - which come from exploring all the other chapters.

@BoostSelfWorth I love this. What chapter are you in now?

Stories Are the Chapters in the Book of Our Lives My chapters include: My family My upbringing My friends My schooling My travels My marriage My son My achievements My insights

@Tim_Denning Love this post! As a BA Mastermind member it feels empowering to know how much you repect our individual and small group processes and how much you and Todd have learned from starting this community.

Everyone thinks the best way to make money online is with: Newsletters. Affiliate products. Courses. They are all wrong. One business model surpasses them all. Here it is (and why it's the best):

“Being glued to the phone for hours, and ignoring my work even though I fully intend to do it and enjoy my work, is a typical example.” I can relate! Yard work, texting or emailing family and friends, spontaneously visiting friends, researching projects (spent a ton of time picking out color to paint my house and now completely redesigning my front yard) and of course playing with my phone (mostly games though) are some of the things I do to avoid doing the things “I should be doing.” But I also tend to push myself and have high expectations as well as the shiney penny syndrome. I love jumping into new projects. But sometimes I just need a break from whatever I seem to be avoiding. I just keep adding it to my daily to-do list until I get fed up with seeing it there, then I get it handled. But I have way less on my plate than the business you are creating. Retirement really is about choosing what you want to do everyday. From my perspective you do a massive amount of excellent writing and connecting with people. I am in awe.

Thanks for your kind words, Lynn! :D I don't have sleep apnea (I did an overnight sleep study). But my sleep is terribly broken. Often I wake up every hour! Yeah a lack of sleep makes me both tired and hyper. Psychiatrists used to think this was hypomania from bipolar. But later they were confused because it seemed like it was a stable personality trait for me, whereas a hypomanic episode should be abnormal for the person. So my latest psychiatrist told me she didn't think I had bipolar, especially since I had no depression. (I have plenty of anxiety, though.) Hadn't thought about those symptoms correlating with aging! Yeah I'm just self-diagnosed, since what my ADHDer friends described some so relatable. When I described my experiences, they thought I definitely had ADHD. I didn't think so at first, because I was punctual, met deadlines, was (blessedly) good at school and rarely lost things. But later I learned that some ADHDers overcompensate. Or are such great people pleasers that they make themselves do all of this well, because our fear of disappointing people is too great. When I learn that the attendance and punctuality of meetings, and the strictness of deadlines, are actually much more flexible than I realized, I suddenly become quite iffy with punctuality... It has been hard to organize things without the structure of school, though. And I'm still learning how to handle things related to task switching, breaking down tasks, resting without breaking flow. It's much easier with body doubling with other people, but isn't a total miracle fix. I think my biggest issue is stopping myself from doing what I'm doing, in order to do something else I need to do. Being glued to the phone for hours, and ignoring my work even though I fully intend to do it and enjoy my work, is a typical example.

Hate to admit this, but I'm having what I call "ADHD imposter syndrome." Maybe you can relate. Whenever I think about an ADHD issue I have, like task switching, having trouble prioritizing, procrastinating, lacking motivation unless I have social accountability, being very easily distracted... There are articles written for the general audience where these struggles are seen as "normal"... In fact, I even read somewhere, I think on Psychology Today, that many people who didn't have ADHD originally, developed ADHD symptoms since the pandemic. That's because the stress of guarding against COVID, have overloaded our systems, so we now all have low energy and attention span. Tactics that help ADHDers, such as working in a space where everyone else is working, announcing our plans in public, setting timers for appointments, writing priority lists, turning off app notifications, etc., are also helpful to most people. So I don't even know. Never been formally diagnosed and don't want to be anyway. Not just because I don't have insurance coverage for the assessments, but also because I don't want to get up in the morning to do a test for many hours. Especially if it involves the computer because of my eyestrain disability. But in these moments, I wonder if I "really" have ADHD, or whether I'm just in the general population range of distracted and inattentive... I feel more confident about being autistic, though. 😂 What do you think? Are you confused too?

Fulfilling Leisure Time Is Not What You Think Hanging out and doing nothing may be suitable for a day or two or a week or two. But free time is an opportunity to grow and take on a challenge you know you will enjoy.

I am not sure about that. I think taking care of yourself is paramount. It allows you to care for others without endangering your health. How many caregivers take care of parents, spouses, children, and friends and then fall apart when the crisis is over? Most. Some even fall apart during the crisis. That is the worst for everyone involved.

Sometimes I think I spend too much time supporting my friends rather than myself. I can't help it. I like doing it. I think it is the path to finding a better life.

@_DenisGorbunov Someone who is always right is a gaslighter. They can't help themselves because they have no insight into their behavior and how if affects others. Best tactic to deal with them? Run! If you can't to that armour up.

Always being right is a poor value. This form of entitlement leads to self-aggrandizing, or assuming you’re better than everyone else. The danger isn’t getting your ego bruised once someone proves you wrong. It’s more about shutting out any other perspective. Here’s Mark Manson’s law of avoidance: “The more something threatens your identity, the more you will avoid it.” I know an individual at work who’s always right. He isn’t fun to talk to. I can’t keep a conversation with him longer than a few minutes. If he has no respect for me, maybe I should tell him to read The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. It says you must always be wrong about something. Being wrong breaks the walls of your little fortress and lets you outgrow your personality. So next time you think you’re 100% right, ask yourself “What would it mean if I were wrong?”

I also always have N-96 masks on hand. They are helpful in smoke-filled air, too—I wore them for a couple of days in June when a large fire hit our county. I always wear masks in airports and on planes and consider wearing one at public events, depending on the environment and crowd.

@sabrinacoaching I love your paintings and your words always inspire!

Weekend Watercolour. A quick sketch for this week's art-journalling piece. I'm into a system now for my weekend watercolour series and it's fun to see this commitment become a habit. Realised I spend so much energy organising myself in my day job (heading up a global function) so I tend to resist doing this in my business and home life. When I sit on a Saturday morning on the sitting room floor with the sketchbook, paint palette, brushes and a fresh pot of water, I allow myself a moment of stillness. To enable an image to appear, I focus on an intention or issue to explore. What needs to be expressed appears. In this case the yellow circle popped, along with the pink/purple angle in the top right hand corner. These motifs were strong. Was the pink/purple protection or restriction? Still unsure. The blue zig-zags suggest a bit of both. Flipping from one option to the next. The blues and greens reappear - curiosity and exploration for the next phase. Specks of grey and brown punctuate the corners on the blues and greens - potential obstacles that might block progress. The yellow energy orb, my core will to persist, even when self-doubt raises its head. This is a good image to return to when I waver. I know it'll be a bumpy road ahead, but nothing worth achieving in life is simple and easy. I'll keep exploring and forging ahead, to find my place and shift from one phase to the next. Being stationary for too long is rarely fruitful. But a mindful pause let's you take stock, listen to what you need, and take action. Use curiosity to build a life focused on what matters. You owe it to yourself and those around you.

@Borlokva Good points! As an impatient person, I often rely on patience to moderate my reactions and to process before I react. When I am impatient, I tend to judge others too harshly and unfairly. Patience helps me hear what may really be going on with the other person.

Patience is just an excuse to avoid taking the next step. It can be used to sit back on your laurels and remain status quo. Here are six reasons in support of this theory: 1. Avoidance of fear - Patience makes an excellent shield to avoid facing uncomfortable fears, uncertainties, or potential failures. 2. Lack of Confidence: When individuals lack confidence in their abilities or decisions, they might disguise their hesitation as patience. This can prevent them from moving forward and making progress. 3. Comfort in the Status Quo: Change can be uncomfortable, and staying patient might be a way to remain in a familiar situation. People might prefer to wait rather than take a risk that could lead to an unknown outcome. 4. Perceived Lack of Readiness: Sometimes, people convince themselves they are not ready to take the next step, using patience to justify their perceived lack of preparation or resources. 5. Procrastination: Patience can sometimes mask procrastination. Instead of taking proactive steps, individuals might tell themselves that they are being patient, even when it means delaying necessary actions. 6. Misunderstanding of Patience: True patience involves a balance of waiting and acting at the right time. However, it can be misunderstood as merely waiting indefinitely without taking steps toward goals. While patience is often a virtue and essential in certain situations, it's important to recognize when it's used to rationalize inaction. Finding the right balance between patience and taking decisive steps is necessary for progress and growth.