Captain Augustus McCrae

@WeiserPrincess I'm headin' down in the basement to drag out my pearls right now...

Bring that mutherfucker home.

@GuntherEagleman One day I'm hopin' this boy has an original thought.

The Democrat party is the party of violence! They prove it over and over

@GuntherEagleman That damn fool Trump done messed everything up. I'll be payin' $4 for a damned gallon of gas tomorrow when I fill up my ole' truck.

🚨 BREAKING: LARGE CARGO SHIP ATTACKED BY MULTIPLE SMALL BOATS IN THE STRAIT OF HORMUZ, JUST 11 MILES OFF IRAN’S COAST Iranian proxies or IRGC stirring chaos again…?

Well, hell, partner. Ol’ @catturd2 got the goods on Comey again? Must be them same lizard people what rigged the moon landin’. Boy, you keep chasin’ shadows, you’re liable to trip over your own damn tail. Put the tinfoil hat down ‘fore it cuts off the blood to what little brain ya got left.

They’ve got the goods on Comey.

Ronald Acuña’s MRI revealed a Grade 1 hamstring strain on his left leg. It was going to be more than a few days therefore the Braves opted to place him on the IL. Walt added “all things considered it could have been a lot worse.”

Darlin', you bein' a gay woman and ridin' with MAGA is about as smart as a one-legged man in an ass-kickin' contest. They overturned Roe with Dobbs, sayin' states can strip a woman's liberty—next they'll come for your marriage. Projects like the Respect for Marriage Act repeal are already slinkin' toward the Court, with folks aimin' to overturn Obergefell and send you back to the shadows. Freedom ain't pick-and-choose, missy. These boys'll trade your rights for votes quicker than a snake sheds skin.

Investigating Ilhan Omar youtu.be/_HwbXtTWR7k

Ilhan Omar’s $25 Million Mystery... "Rose Lake Capital". No public filings. No disclosed investors. No track record to point to. Yet somehow, Rose Lake Capital, tied to MN Rep. @Ilhan Omar, surged from almost nothing to millions in RECORD time.

Hell, that sorry-ass airline couldn't turn a profit since Christ was a corporal. Bad management, rotten service, and flyin' junk heaps—that's what killed the jobs. Blamin' Elizabeth Warren is like blamin' the wind for a lame horse. They ran it into the ground themselves, darlin'. Typical.

Elizabeth Warren just cost 40,000 people their jobs.

Well hell, makin' English official? That's the most anti-American horseshit I ever heard. This country's built by immigrants jabberin' in a dozen tongues, not some prissy rulebook. Force one language and you ain't defendin' freedom—you're actin' like them redcoat tyrants we kicked out. Next they'll tell ya what kinda whiskey to drink. Buncha damn fools.

English should be the only language spoken in the United States. Make it the official language!

@StellaParton I reckon I'm free for lunch, Miss Stella.

What now?

Well now, @GuntherEagleman , it all come about on account of that damn fool President bein' incompetent as a one-legged man at a kickin' contest. He went and appointed that fella to run the Secret Service, then stood by him like a stubborn mule even when near ever'body who knows a lick about keepin' a President alive raised holy hell about it. You can't fix stupid, son. We all seen you try.

🚨 HOW DID IT HAPPEN? Rep. Carlos Gimenez demands answers from Secret Service: How the hell did the White House Correspondents’ Dinner shooting suspect get “one door away” from the president?

Now listen here, @SenTomCotton, you knew full well that rascal Trump was grabbin’ women by the pussy without their say-so. Hell, the whole damn country heard it. And you still saddle up with him anyway. Human decency, what little’s left of it, demands that the people of Arkansas do better than your sorry ass.

Make no mistake -- Platner knew he had a Nazi tattoo. And now he wants to represent Maine in the Senate. Maine voters should reject this fraud.

@MeidasTouch @ScottJenningsKY sure is a whiney bitch, ain't he? I reckon he's as delicate as a snowflake on Christmas Eve just about to land on the Virgin Mary's nose as she swaddles her Baby Jesus.

oh my god

@WalshFreedom Joe... maybe you best set this one out. "On November 8th, I'm voting for Trump. On November 9th, if Trump loses, I'm grabbing my musket. You in?" - Joe Walsh

On a show earlier, I was asked whether I’d support Graham Platner. I said No. Not that I matter, but when I became a Democrat 11 months ago, I said the Dem tent must be big enough for Zohran Mamdani & Joe Walsh. And I still believe that. But there’s no tent big enough for me & Graham Platner. And I say that knowing most Dem voters disagree with me. But for me, Platner is a dishonest antisemite who’s lied about, and who’s never owned up to, not just his Nazi tattoo, but all the horrible things he’s said about Jews, Cops, rural whites, women, blacks, rape victims, gays, and so many more people & groups of people. Everyone (except Trump) is capable of changing, but Platner gives zero indication he has changed. I get that for most Dems it’s all about winning. I agree winning is important, but we all have our own personal red lines as well. If I lived in Maine, of course I wouldn’t vote for Susan Collins. But I wouldn’t vote for Platner either.

That there sorry science experiment they turned into a @CNN business analyst—feller always hidin' in a sweater like a damn schoolmarm, calls hisself David Goldman—can officially be pronounced a complete failure. Hell, just stop it. Put the boy in a proper suit, pour him a strong cup of coffee, and chain him to a chair for twelve solid hours watchin' Richard Quest on New Year's Eve. Let that soak in good. Then maybe, just maybe, he'll be worth a second look.

Hell, Bill's got it right this time. That president's gone full madman, stirrin' up more uncertainty than a stampede in a thunderstorm. A superpower can't afford a loco sonofabitch at the reins—liable to get us all scalped. Time for some steady Ranger sense, not this damn foolishness.

"How much uncertainty can a superpower afford to generate before it loses control of the game it is playing?... The madman theory of foreign policy never accounted for the possibility that the president might actually be a madman." open.substack.com/pub/thebulwark…

🚨 A North Texas sports controversy just claimed another big name. Backlash is growing after a shocking coaching hire involving a registered sex offender, and now a former Southlake mayor is out. The fallout is moving fast, but a bigger question still hangs over the whole mess. Read more at bit.ly/42HpGag #Southlake #Texas #NorthTexas

Erika Kirk after a shooting: "I just wanna go home." Erika Kirk going home:

Well now, I reckon the fair ladies of America are just plumb tickled pink to finally hear from that old, fat, white preacher feller. Hot damn, boys—here comes the voice of authority! He's fixin' to lay it all out plain as day, tellin' 'em exactly what they want in a man. Praise the Lord and pass the cornbread! A fella like that, he's probably had more experience with a plate of fried chicken than he has with actual women, but by God, he's got the answers. Hallelujah!

There are voices in this world - and even in the church - that have tried to define a woman’s worth by limitation instead of liberation. But the truth of God’s Word tells a very different story. From the cross to the empty tomb, women were present, faithful, and entrusted with a divine purpose. God has always used women as vessels of honor, empowering them through His Spirit to fulfill His calling. The same Holy Spirit poured out in the Upper Room did not discriminate - it declared that sons and daughters would prophesy, reminding us that God’s assignment is not based on human tradition, but on divine authority. When we surrender to God’s truth, we reject the lies that diminish our identity and embrace the calling that elevates it. Marriage is not built on control, but on mutual submission - honoring one another as Christ honors the church. And no believer, man or woman, is called to compromise God’s Word to satisfy human pressure. You are called to stand firm, to walk boldly, and to live faithfully. When women rise in their God-given purpose, homes are restored, marriages are healed, and generations are changed. God is still raising up warriors -women filled with His Spirit - to crush the enemy’s hold and walk in victory. Reject the lies. Embrace God’s design. Order now: bit.ly/46wSCo6

@BravesVisionTV Well now, I'm as loyal a @Braves man as ever drew breath, and I got a powerful fondness for @BrandonGaudin and @CJNitkowski. But I switched off your broadcast today for an inning as soon as you trotted out that out-of-the-closet bigot @Jason_Aldean. Damn if right in the middle of his little appearance, some advertisement come on for one of them LGBTQ outfits, pointin' out that half the country can still kick a feller out of his house just for who he beds down with. I ain't mad, boys. Just a touch disappointed. I know your crowd's mostly Southern and set in their ways, and that's fine. But this old Ranger never did cotton to bigots, and you had one sittin' right there on your show today like he belonged. Y'all oughta do a little better next time. That's all I'm sayin'.