Dannibiss

@AustinAnkh @BigHeadLeafs_ This is your brain on Leafs

@BDEgameowners Back in my day we had mana burn to prevent willy nilly unnneccesary land tapping.

New Player: Okay, explain lands to me. Experienced Player: Oh, they’re cards, buddy. Real, actual cards. You shuffle them into your deck and everything. Super normal. Nothing weird about it at all. New Player: So I cast them like a spell? Experienced Player: Cast them? Ha! No, no, no. That would be too simple. You just play them. Once per turn. In your main phase. When the stack is empty. For free. Like a special snowflake action that the rest of the game isn’t allowed to do. Totally not confusing at all. New Player: And then I tap it, and then seqrch my library to find another one? Experienced Player: Oh my god, yes, please go search your library every time you tap a land. That’s exactly what the rules want. No, you absolute walnut. The land stays right there. You turn it sideways, it gives you mana instantly, and it does not go fetch you a replacement like some kind of overachieving golden retriever. Mana ability. Not a spell. Not an instant. Just tap and mana. End of story. New Player: Wait, so it’s not something my opponent can respond to or counter or anything? Experienced Player: Respond to it? Counter it? Buddy, mana abilities don’t use the stack. They happen faster than your opponent can say “hold on.” You could literally tap your lands in the middle of someone trying to cast a counterspell and they just have to sit there and cry about it. It’s the most unfair, elegant middle finger the rules ever gave us. New Player: But I can only do the land drop once a turn, right? Experienced Player: Correct. One. Singular. You get one free land drop per turn unless a card says “actually, screw that rule today.” Meanwhile your creatures cost mana, your spells cost mana, but lands? Nah, just one. Because heaven forbid you flood out and have fun. New Player: So if I draw too few lands…? Experienced Player: You lose. Straight up. Mana screw city. You sit there with three lands total, staring at a hand full of expensive spells you’ll never cast while your opponent plays Magic and you play “watch paint dry.” Brilliant. New Player: And if I draw too many? Experienced Player: You also lose. Mana flood, baby. Hand full of nothing but lands, tapping for mana you have zero spells to spend it on. Just watch your beautiful board of zero threats while your opponent beats your face in. Perfectly balanced game design, as all things should be. New Player: Also why do some say “basic” and some don’t? Is that supposed to mean something? Experienced Player: Oh yeah, that’s just the game’s way of saying “these ones you can run as many as you want, but these fancy ones? Four or one max depending on the format, because we hate fun.” That's pretty self explanatory. New Player: Are any of these rules written down? Experienced Player: No, you have to figure it out. Welcome to Magic. You’ll learn to love the pain. Or you’ll quit. Either way, the lands win.

@thegrayfruit I'll play Terranigma one of these days.

every console has a catalog of commonly accepted classics and then also 30 Secret Masterpieces you can only find by becoming an enormous nerd about that console

@PunishedPgans @turbomander (Such a lovely place.)

@Dannibisss @turbomander It can happen at the Hotel California. Such a lovely place.

no disrespect to the hotel staff but i sort of feel like letting your guests check out any time they like but not actually allowing them to leave is just bad policy

@Jey3o37 Quitting after 2nd anni was not a good choice it seems lol

E1 and E2 is a realistic investment for a F2P to have. Unless you can’t save and pull on every banner in existence that is

@turbomander I'm dumb, I think I know where this happens.

@turbomander Aside from being on vacation and waiting for the shuttle to the airport I've never had to stay at the hotel after checking out. Where does this happen?

@capsboybebop Instead it's much worse, seems like a bunch of GMs have a few friends on other teams they talk to and that's it.

i think a lot of hockey fans genuinely believe that real life hockey trades work like they do in the video games where if you just keep adding assets the game will eventually say yes for any player you want

@GameRealist_ @XihokRBLX We'd finally get some peace and quiet

@XihokRBLX We have to be honest though. A world without women would last much longer.

@Bluebearryz_ There's no such thing as hyperbole when it comes to furries.

How are y'all taking the gay porn part so serious i Thought It was clear i was hyperbolic😭😭

Furry gay porn was literally the only thing that kept this franchise relevant up until now howwww can there be homophobic starfox fans😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

@childe_lovee I love how everyone is resigned to Yaning being bad forever.

Imo this is my take on novaflare but only for units before 3.0

@DistantCoder Real RNG is using Focus Blast.

Ok so I've been playing Pokémon champions very actively for about a week now and I have a genuine question to ask regular VGC players. How on earth do y'all deal with the CRAZY amount of RNG in this game? Feels like every 2-3 games are decided by a flinch or a crit, it's unreal.

@PotatoMcWhiskey Cyclists should be required to get a licence to bike on the road since they don't know the rules of the road is what I'm seeing.

I've become so radicalised against car drivers who know nothing about cycling road rules that I think they should be forced to take a rules of the road and safety test specifically for cyclists before being allowed to drive.

@Out5p0ken I better be getting free drinks and compliments

Take a straight man to a gay bar and see how quickly he understands consent.

@theworstkirst @WhoDeyLane @PotatoMcWhiskey @BeanHundred The cyclist can't even bike in a lane and I'm the one defending bad driving. Name checks out though you're definitely the worst.

@Dannibisss @WhoDeyLane @PotatoMcWhiskey @BeanHundred Keep defending poor driving, I guess.

Car drivers when they have to go 25km/hr for a minute or two so as not to kill another person with their giant metal brick on wheels

@theworstkirst @WhoDeyLane @PotatoMcWhiskey @BeanHundred No I just learned from working around vehicles and places where safety actually matters that the right of way doesn't protect you from anything and vehicles are much heavier than pedestrians. But keep acting the victim because you can't do whatever the fuck you want on the roads

@Dannibisss @WhoDeyLane @PotatoMcWhiskey @BeanHundred Drivers fantasising about killing cyclists again.

@theworstkirst @WhoDeyLane @PotatoMcWhiskey @BeanHundred A car would go through multiple cyclists. He isn't protecting anything.

@Dannibisss @WhoDeyLane @PotatoMcWhiskey @BeanHundred highwaycodeuk.co.uk/using-the-road…

@theworstkirst @WhoDeyLane @PotatoMcWhiskey @BeanHundred Looks like someone doesn't understand physics, he's not superman.

@WhoDeyLane @PotatoMcWhiskey @BeanHundred Looks like someone shielding a younger cyclist.

@PotatoMcWhiskey @BeanHundred The unsafe condition is created by not driving between the lines marked on the road for everyone. Everyone else can follow the rules except for that one mother fucker on a bike lol.

@BeanHundred I don't care you should stop being a fucking baby and not overtake people unsafely and just be patient

🌭

@meganarianism @WxFanaticCC Literally not even pea sized

@WxFanaticCC @TxStormChasers Some of yall clearly have never experienced a severe hailstorm in Texas 😂 you want a broken windshield? You want a chance to have a softball sized chunk of ice coming at you?

Dublin, TX drivers doing the thing. 4:30pm