David :checkmark: (Parody of myself)

@ABCNetwork REALLY ROLLING with "all news is good news" like they think the fascists who say @FoxNews is too liberal might tube in if they sacrifice enough of their few good acts on the altar...

Hey #ABC and #Disney how does trumps colon taste? You will never see a dime or view from me again. Ii don't need your crap properties at home if you now to a fascist.

@Skatunenetwork Omg got my vinyl in the mail this morning. But I can't wait so I'm listening through on my way to work as well

ITS 💔DEATH OF THE HEART💔 RELEASE DAY! I am so hyped to share this with the world!!! Hands down the best musical project I’ve done so far! A special record, and I appreciate everyone who helped make it possible, everyone who bought - copy, and everyone giving it a listen!!!!

@colin_williams1 @paytmitch On the other hand my knees hit even when people don't recline so it makes no difference to me. I'm already bending my knees to the aisle or window to fit so I'd rather one of us be comfortable. (But as the leaner, don't get mad if I accidentally bump your seat!!)

@paytmitch As a tall person: Yes, if the flight starts before 8am, ends after 11pm, or is longer than 4.5 hours. Otherwise, at least look back to see if the person is tall. My knees already almost hit normal airplane seats, so I appreciate when you try not to recline.

@paytmitch Yes entirely and I bet I have longer legs than 90% of people who say not to. If they are super tall MAYBE Ask first but FFS People we're all trying to get through this sardine can together and getting some sleep/rest is the only way this works.

@Tiesonthewall @sportswithjohn World. Cup. Worldcup. W.o.r.l.d.c.u.p.

@sportswithjohn Does no one work on Thursday morning anymore? 😅🥲

Turn on the TV if you're up. The last five minutes of these games are gonna be crazy. Goalies pulled. Desperation. Glory. Heartbreak.

@_sweet_carolyn Massive Love to everyone making this dumpster fire worthwhile. DFTBA.

Catching up on #PIPLES last week on a plane and just.. tear jerking marriage and life-priority discussions y'all Hank and Katherine are everything and it is so good to hear tough conversations done well...

@TomLavery89 @sportswithjohn @hankgreen 'Bout omg

@sportswithjohn @hankgreen DONT FORGET TO TALK ABOUT FEET

This is somehow a true tweet.

@ChrisDJackson We threaten to default on our debt EVERY YEAR. We should NOT be highly rated until we repeal our debt ceiling Bull crap.

🚨 JP Morgan Chase Says Biden Economy "Best World Ever Seen" In an interview earlier today, Dimon said: "This is the most prosperous nation on the planet." "We have "the best economy the world has ever seen, the most innovation. The credit is sound. It should be the highest-rated credit in the world." Folks, #Bidenomics is working.

@johngreen @PIH @MSF @JNJNews @JNJNews this is a great question re: kids b/c it's no secret that in the past kids weren't prioritized for bedaquiline as they weren't considered "superspreaders." But really it was b/c you were gatekeeping the drug and they were dying of #tuberculosis

.@pih and @msf have 12 quick questions for Johnson & Johnson. Does the generic bedaquiline deal include children? Can humanitarian organizations distribute generic bedaquiline? Please, @JNJNews. TB patients everywhere need clarity! pih.org/press/open-let…

#patientsnotpatents may be about to heat up again folks. We are not here for a gentle shrug with no commitment.

Do you like riddles? Improv comedy? DOESNT MATTER!! You should listen to HeyRiddleRiddle!!

Today we celebrate 5 years! ❤️

@ChewquackaWTF @EdKrassen When I was seven years old the supreme court overturned an election. When I was 17 they declared corporations people and unleashed unending corrupt money into politics. I have never lived in an America with a judicial system that I trust.

@EdKrassen 100% agree - I honestly feel that mistrust in the judicial system has been instilled after 2017. There was never this level of mistrust before from what i know so its upsetting to see how people have jumped on the chance to discredit with baseless perspectives.

On the left you have Judge Tanya Chutkan. On the right you have Judge Aileen Cannon. Chutkan is an Obama-appointed judge. Cannon is a Trump-appointed judge. They are both presiding over different criminal cases against Donald Trump. They are both federal judges with ample experience, who should be respected and trusted. I expect both judges to be heavily attacked by both the left and the right over the next 1-2 years. Let's not do that. Let's stand by the American legal system, and let's all agree to support the ultimate outcomes of all of the trials that Donald Trump will face. If he's innocent, good for him. If he's guilty, let's respect the sentencing given to him. Agreed?

Crying over this beautiful video from John about our trip to Colombia to see where Awesome Coffee is grown! Also please enjoy some incredible script writing from @zoepolando <3 youtube.com/watch?v=9knbo7…

The plan was to stage a coup and then use the military to put down any protest that ensued.

@sportswithjohn @UnderBootSoles JOHN ARE YOU AN UNDERCOVER BARISTA I SWEAR TO NOEDGE

@UnderBootSoles Is it the one with lefty politics in an extremely conservative town but everyone goes there anyway because it's that good?

The best diner in Indiana is on none of the lists of best diners in Indiana. My mother and I accidentally stumbled upon it somewhere west and north of Indianapolis maybe 5 or 6 years ago, we can’t remember the name of the town and I haven’t been able to track it back down since.

@dampscribbler @momtropolis @Nerd4Cities It's a wild thing to say, but Cw Unaliving. . . . I don't know exactly what she means, but in my years of riding Amtrak, a train I was on has hit or nearly hit at least 3 "presumed sucide attempts"