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@Dayscd

25 year old comedian from Minnesota the state @vdays

Minneapolis, MN Katılım Aralık 2014
1.7K Takip Edilen11.6K Takipçiler
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days
days@Dayscd·
my first time trying standup comedy…
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days@Dayscd·
There’s 100 grocery stores and even more groceries
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Hoops McCann
Hoops McCann@ravidravidravid·
perfect tl
Hoops McCann tweet media
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Brooks Otterlake
Brooks Otterlake@i_zzzzzz·
Pretty accurate
Brooks Otterlake tweet media
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dan
dan@Dansplainer·
multiple oomfs wishing me happy birthday before my parents, x the everything app is basically a parent to me now
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days
days@Dayscd·
@lilemmvert bro said: GLUB GLUB 🗣️🗣️🗣️
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em
em@lilemmvert·
@Dayscd SCREAMING FISB
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days@Dayscd·
SCREAMING BABY
days tweet media
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Hello
Hello@VeinRichard·
1,000 urkels with their arms on each other's shoulders smiling and shouting in chorus: did we do that?
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days@Dayscd·
The first girl to ever squirt was probably like ‘holy shit’
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John Halo
John Halo@EpicMasterChief·
John Halo tweet media
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days@Dayscd·
I’m having dance withdrawals I got the Harlem shakes
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days@Dayscd·
If I wanted to be mean to Po I would call him Kung Food Panda as a reminder of his overweight. I won’t do that though because that would be mean. A thing I am not.
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Shmegmoid Johnson
Shmegmoid Johnson@shmegmoid·
Ken Carson and Playboi Barbi
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lewis
lewis@Lewiswbt1·
(guy who doesn't know you can turn calculators upside down) hey man look at this... I've put in 58008, right. Now stand on your head real quick
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yoshimi red
yoshimi red@nise_yoshimi·
sometimes when I'm in the tub ill say things to myself like "soap. Nice. I can use that to clean my body" and it makes the whole thing feel much safer
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Hoops McCann
Hoops McCann@ravidravidravid·
picked a guy’s wallet out of his pocket and immediately stamped my name and address on it and then put it back in his pants and called the cops
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rrudie
rrudie@_pressuredrop_·
@Dayscd i practice safe poop
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days@Dayscd·
Do yall take your condom off before you shit or after?
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Hello
Hello@VeinRichard·
The year is 207🙂(pronounced twenty seventy smile). Grins are the new currency. While it may seem that the forces of gladness run this world, it's said that a secret frowning circle is burgeoning beneath the surface, promising to change everything. Which side will you choose?
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