JeMorrison

@USEmbassyBern Lazy AF.

Ambassador Gingrich is pleased to lead the delegation from Switzerland and Liechtenstein to the SelectUSA Investment Summit, May 3-6, in National Harbor, Maryland. Apply now: ow.ly/s4E950YOvTo

Trump's Ambassador to Lichtenstein looking very lifelike in her broadcast from the Gingrich Moon Base.

@grantstern They can’t even be bothered to film their own propaganda now?

@omgsidewalks Don’t do it!

You can send one message to your 15-year-old self. What does it say?

@LittleCatBlue @notcapnamerica Lmao! That took me back! 😂

@JEMorrison911 @notcapnamerica Son of Toonces! 💀

Is she….okay?

🚩Note: Critical international response to the White House Correspondents Dinner (#WHCD) incident and post-facto “ #ReichstagFire” political implications: 🔥🔥🆘The international 🌏press has been quick to frame the White House Correspondents' Dinner shooting as a potential "Reichstag moment," with several non-American outlets expressing skepticism about how the incident will be leveraged for political gain by Trump, his party and core supporters. Foreign Media Skepticism (Last 4 Hours) • 🇫🇷Le Monde (France): A lead editorial suggests the incident is being "meticulously staged" to justify a broader crackdown on domestic political opposition. The analysis notes that while the trauma is real, the speed with which the administration pivoted to "enemies within" rhetoric suggests a prepared response. • 🇩🇪Der Spiegel (Germany): Using the most direct historical parallels, commentators have questioned whether this represents a "Washingtoner Reichstagsbrand" (Washington Reichstag Fire). The skepticism centers on the immediate call for emergency decrees and the suspension of standard legal oversight following the shooting. • 🇪🇸El País (Spain): Reports focus on the "transactional use of tragedy," noting that the incident provides a convenient distraction from recent setbacks in the Middle East and domestic economic pressures. • 🇬🇧The Guardian (UK): Coverage emphasizes the "security-industrial complex" of the administration, suggesting the shooting will be used to permanently "fortify" the executive branch against judicial and legislative scrutiny. The prevailing sentiment in these original-language reports follows three distinct lines of skepticism: The "Pre-Written" Script: Observation that the political messaging—targeting specific "radical" groups—emerged before the shooter was even fully identified. The "Bargaining Chip" Theory: In Asia, particularly in 🇹🇼Taiwan (United Daily News), there is concern that a "shaken" administration might use the domestic crisis as an excuse to pull back from international commitments, focusing instead on internal "purification." The "Basket Case" Narrative: Across European outlets, the shooting is cited as final proof that the U.S. has devolved into a "failed state" where even the most secure elite gatherings are subject to the same chaos as rural schools.

I have three monitors on my desk. The left one shows the order book. The middle one shows Truth Social. The right one shows the investigation queue. On April 21st, the left screen moved first. I am a Senior Surveillance Analyst at a commodities exchange. I have held this position for nineteen years. My job is to monitor trading activity for suspicious patterns and generate compliance reports. I am employee of the quarter. I have a mug. At 19:54 GMT on April 21st, someone placed 4,260 sell orders on Brent crude futures. They did this during post-settlement. The window after the market closes when daily volume is typically in the dozens. Sometimes single digits. Sometimes I watch the screen and nothing happens for forty minutes and I think about whether my daughter is happy. On April 21st, someone placed $430 million in directional bets in 120 seconds during that window. One hundred and twenty seconds. I timed it on my watch because the system clock rounds to the nearest minute and I have found, in nineteen years, that precision matters to no one but me. At 20:10 GMT, the President posted on Truth Social that he was extending the Iran ceasefire. Brent dropped from $100.91 to $96.83. I flagged the trade. I flag a lot of trades. I want to tell you what happens to my flags. My flags go into a system called TRACE. Trade Review and Compliance Evaluation. I did not name it. The system generates a report. The report goes to a committee. The committee has a name I am not allowed to share but I can tell you it meets quarterly and the conference room has a credenza with bottled water that is sparkling because someone once put still water in the room and a managing director sent an email about it that was longer than most of my surveillance reports. The committee reviews my flags. The committee has reviewed all of my flags. Here is the complete record of actions taken on my flags in 2026: Reviewed. That's it. "Reviewed" is a status. In compliance, a status is the absence of an action that has been given a name so it looks like one. Let me show you my flags. March 9th. Someone bet millions on oil falling at 18:29 GMT. Forty-seven minutes later, a CBS reporter posted that the President said the Iran war was "very complete, pretty much." Oil dropped 25%. Forty-seven minutes. I flagged it. March 23rd. Someone sold 5,100 lots of Brent and WTI crude futures between 10:49 and 10:50 GMT. Fourteen minutes later, the President posted on Truth Social about a "COMPLETE AND TOTAL RESOLUTION" to hostilities. Oil dropped 11%. Over 13,000 contracts traded in sixty seconds after the post. Fourteen minutes. I flagged it. April 7th. Someone established a $950 million short position in oil futures at 19:45 GMT. Three hours later, the President declared a two-week ceasefire. Nine hundred and fifty million dollars. I flagged it. April 17th. Someone placed $760 million in bearish bets twenty minutes before Iran's foreign minister confirmed the Strait of Hormuz would reopen. Seven hundred and sixty million. I flagged it. April 21st. The $430 million. Fifteen minutes. I flagged it. That is $2.1 billion in directional oil bets in April alone. Every one of them landed on the correct side of a presidential announcement. Every one of them was placed in a window so narrow you could measure it in bathroom breaks. I flagged every single one. The CFTC chair told a Congressional committee that his organization has "zero tolerance" for fraud and insider trading. I wrote that quote on a Post-it note and stuck it to my right monitor. The one that shows the investigation queue. The investigation queue has not moved since March. Zero tolerance. Zero staff. Zero budget. Zero prosecutions under the STOCK Act since it was signed in 2012. Fourteen years. The law has existed for fourteen years and has been enforced zero times. In compliance, we call that a compliance rate of one hundred percent. No cases filed means no cases lost. You cannot fail an audit you never conduct. We call that excellence. Last month the White House sent an internal email to staff. I was not on the distribution list but I have read reporting on it and I need you to sit with what I am about to say. The email instructed White House staff not to use insider information to place bets on prediction markets. The White House had to send a memo telling its own employees not to insider-trade. I want you to read that sentence again. Not because the instruction was unclear. Because the instruction was necessary. Because someone in the building looked at the same pattern I have been flagging for months on my three monitors and decided the appropriate response was an email. The President's son sits on the advisory board of Kalshi. He is an investor in Polymarket. Both are prediction markets. Both saw accounts created days before U.S. military action. One account. I cannot stop thinking about this account. It was called "Burdensome-Mix." It was created in December. On January 2nd, it placed $32,500 on Venezuela's president being removed from power. On January 3rd, Maduro was seized by U.S. special forces. Burdensome-Mix collected $436,000. Then it changed its username. Then it disappeared. One account is a coincidence. But there were six. Six accounts were created on Polymarket in February. All bet on U.S. strikes on Iran by the 28th. When the President confirmed the strikes, the six accounts collected $1.2 million between them. Five of the six never placed another bet. The sixth went on to correctly predict the ceasefire date and made another $163,000. My surveillance system logged all of this. My system logs everything. My system does not have opinions and neither do I. I generate reports. The reports go to committees. The committees meet quarterly. Between meetings, the windows get shorter and the bets get larger. March 9th: 47 minutes. March 23rd: 14 minutes. April 17th: 20 minutes. April 21st: 15 minutes. The window is compressing. In March, you had time to make coffee between the trade and the announcement. By April, you had time to send a text. By summer, at this rate, the trade and the announcement will be the same event. The spokesman said any implication that administration officials are engaged in insider trading is "baseless and irresponsible reporting." Then the White House sent the email again. I have been in compliance for nineteen years. I have seen insider trading run out of strip mall offices by men who could not spell "derivative." I have seen pump-and-dump schemes coordinated over WhatsApp by people who used their real names. I have seen a man try to manipulate soybean futures from a Panera Bread. I have never seen $2.1 billion in perfectly timed trades across five presidential announcements in a single month go uninvestigated. But I have also never seen a compliance system work this beautifully. Every trade flagged. Every report filed. Every committee briefed. Every quarterly meeting attended. Bottled water: sparkling. Minutes: distributed. Zero prosecutions. As long as the flags go up and the cases don't, my performance review says I am meeting expectations. I am meeting expectations. The system is meeting expectations. The $2.1 billion is meeting expectations. The fourteen-year-old law with zero prosecutions is meeting expectations. The left screen moves. The middle screen moves. The right screen stays perfectly, immaculately still. In my field, we call this price discovery.

Women of Edmond/OKC: please be aware that a convicted stalker is active again in our community. We recently discovered he has been posing as different women in our engagements. Repeating past behaviors that he also used a decade ago, he uses autism as an excuse for oversteps & fixates on dunk tanks & festivals. He has also fixated on female news personalities. DM if you think this is someone you’re engaging in and I’ll share more information.

@TaraSetmayer @Out5p0ken @StateFarm Im so sorry. I had State Farm from the time I was 16 until 45, when they canceled my homeowners for a burst pipe claim. So I know how you feel, but with the added insult that we pay the highest insurance rates in the country here in Oklahoma.

@StateFarm We’ve been trying for over a YEAR. And your company has done nothing but mislead, delay, and now refusal to pay our full rightful claim. We lost EVERYTHING.

A bit of personal news. Has anyone else lost their family property b/c of @StateFarm negligence & refusal to pay? Because we just did. 4 generations of Setmayers. Our 100yr family legacy lost, b/c of STATE Farm. Good neighbor is a LIE! Can anyone help us right this wrong?

I didn’t survive a pandemic, The Great Recession, 9/11, smoking in restaurants, O.J. Simpson, the Challenger explosion, two wars, boomer parents, Hurricane Katrina, Columbine, Y2K, AND a Corey Feldman album to be taken out by goddamn Donald Trump.

OK, so Karoline Leavitt asked Getty Pictures to delete this unflattering photo of her, so this is me telling you all NOT to RT and share this many times all over the place. Whatever you do, DON'T RT this. Thank you for your attention to this matter. 😏

BREAKING: Anti-DEI purge IMPLODES as DOGE bro admits Holocaust survivors documentary was canceled for being about women. A stunning deposition is exposing just how reckless the government’s anti-DEI crackdown has become. A young staffer working for the Trump administration’s so-called Department of Government Efficiency — tasked with canceling federal grants under new anti-DEI rules — admitted under oath that he couldn’t even explain what “DEI” means, despite using the policy to terminate funding. During questioning, the employee repeatedly insisted his understanding of diversity, equity, and inclusion was “exactly what was written in the executive order.” There was just one problem. When asked what the executive order actually said… he couldn’t remember. Pressed again and again by a lawyer to explain his understanding of DEI, the staffer kept repeating the same circular answer: that DEI meant whatever was written in the executive order he couldn’t recall. Then came the jaw-dropping moment. The lawyer asked why a government grant for a documentary about female Holocaust survivors had been canceled under the anti-DEI policy. The staffer’s answer? Because the documentary focused on women. According to the employee, telling the stories of women who survived the Holocaust was “inherently discriminatory” because it centered on a “gender-based story.” When asked to clarify, he doubled down — claiming that amplifying “marginalized voices” of Jewish women made the project DEI. In other words, a film about women who endured one of history’s worst atrocities was apparently considered too “diverse” to receive funding. The deposition transcript shows the staffer struggling to defend the decision while his attorney repeatedly interrupted with objections as the questioning exposed the logic behind the cancellations. And the exchange is now raising serious questions about how many grants were cut using the same shaky reasoning. Because if the people enforcing anti-DEI rules can’t even define the policy they’re using — yet still feel empowered to cancel projects about Holocaust survivors — it reveals something deeply disturbing about how these decisions are being made. Ideology first. Facts later. Please like and share!

Trump has ruined the last decade of our lives and I long for the psychic release of his eventual exit from this plane, but, goddamnit, “he’s making everyone around him wear shoes that don’t fit” is such an inspired character detail. Like I’m mad at how fucking good a bit that is.

It brings me no joy to say this but given the presidents shocking announcement that the Supreme Court is compromised by foreign interests, the next president will have no choice but to replace all 9 members with new justices who have no foreign entanglements.

@DOWResponse @SecWar Jesus. Is it still called stolen valor when the Department of DEFENSE lies about it, or is there an even worse term for that?

.@SECWAR joined his old platoon—the Rakkasans—for morning PT.

And now @PressSec confirms: Donald Trump posted the racist video of the Obamas.

As a Gen Xer, I've walked like an Egyptian, moonwalked, walked this way, walked on the wild side, walked on sunshine, walked the line, and walked 500 miles. I've walked a lot... I'm tired.

@WHYYNews @AmberWoods100 So, they make a law that says in order to register to vote you need a certified birth certificate or a passport. Then they forbid public libraries from continuing to assist people with getting passports? I can’t wait to see what restrictions they put on vital records requests.

The U.S. State Department has ordered certain public libraries nationwide to cease processing passport applications, disrupting a long-standing service that librarians say their communities have come to rely on and that has run smoothly for years. bit.ly/4qwOviL