Joliet Jake Blues

@DonderLeNasHawk @yoruutano @NotQuiteHereTSM Jokes on them, I need a nephrectomy anyway.

@yoruutano @NotQuiteHereTSM You ain't getting a pc but you'll get a free kidney removal

florida facebook marketplace is a special type of hell

@catsareblessing I absolutely do not want a cat, but there is a zero percent chance I would be able to walk away from that without it haunting me for life.

When you know this might be your last chance for your forever home

@gaudnet @MusafirNafar Because prayer isn't real, you muppet.

@MusafirNafar So what. That doesn't give any rights to cause any harm to someone because they wish harm on others. Pray for them and not attack them. Understand that we all can say what we like, even if it hurts others feelings. Why act in violence and not prayer.

Zionist rabbis who said ‘Palestinian children deserve to die’ were attacked in London. No one likes Zionists anymore…

@NormSNLJokes There's only two comedians where if I read one of their jokes, I read it in their voice. Obviously, Norm is one of them and Mitch Hedberg is the other.

In Virginia, police are looking for a stripper who stabbed a man for telling her she was "too fat to strip." Police warn that the woman is armed, and extremely fat.

@brbcatonfire @LindyTasteful No disrespect to these young ladies, I'm sure they're all very nice, but just hopping on and off Tokyo Metro for a day or so and you could pull a significantly better line up.

@LindyTasteful The standard tokyo girl mogs most of these girls.

Miss Japan 2026 Finalists 🇯🇵

@realKellyKnight @Carvana I will never, ever understand how Carvana's business model works at all. I know people hate car dealerships but buying a car sight unseen and then potentially having to eat the delivery fee is way worse than stepping onto a car lot. Just go to CarMax or a no haggle lot.

Hey @Carvana My daughter bought a 2018 Camry from one of your locations and had it shipped to Nashville. She took delivery at the Nashville store today. Her inspection lasted all of 5 minutes before she discovered that the spare tire well was full of rusty water. Someone at your seller location failed big time. She declined delivery, but has been told she must eat the $700 delivery fee. That’s not right. You guys failed to inspect and remedy the issue before shipping. You need to refund her delivery fee.

@thepawmic Lost one of our dogs last December and I'm still not over it. I have never mourned a human this much.

@Lilly_bat98 I've heard that Guinness Book joke dozens of time and I still laugh just as hard as the first time I heard it.

Norm MacDonald Breaks Larry King With One Perfect Joke 😂

@davidwoolw38361 @NicholasMorto11 @baseballcrank A timeless classic. A similar joke was also told in Mel Brooks' documentary about the history of the world.

@NicholasMorto11 @baseballcrank I just flew in from Constantinople and boy are my arms tired.

A medieval joke There aren't many jokes that translate well into the modern day, but there is one ... King Louis IX set out on campaign and en-route he stopped at a tavern where he ordered some chicken. He enjoyed his meal and his steward went to pay the landlord. (1/2)

@Chirag1542 @TheTweetOfGod lol

I Reject this post because no one knows that ! I pray to God everything else I forget. Hail Mary, Full of Grace, The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus Christ. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of our death. Amen 🙏🏻

You are all going to die. We apologize for the inconvenience.

@MarkHyman It's really quite impressive how fucking dumb some of you assholes are.

Why is this creepy guy in my timeline?

@ulster_celtUS @EdKrassen @grok Plus the person helping him up clips into the side of the vehicle.

@EdKrassen @grok it has all the odd hallmarks of AI the lighting , the reflection, if it feels off it’s AI

Hey @grok, is this video of Trump apparently falling real?

@omer06800 @Polymarket The hell does that even mean?

@Polymarket It was the first movie to be made for tiktok-audiences. It was like watching a 3 hour long youtube-short.

JUST IN: "The Odyssey" is now on pace to surpass $1 billion worldwide, potentially becoming Christopher Nolan’s highest grossing film ever.

@Polymarket Not a single person who works at Google, down to the cleaning staff, is that stupid. Is this something I can actually bet against?

14% chance SpaceX & Google agree to put data centers in space by the end of the year. poly.market/36sj0Zb

JUST IN: Google discloses owning $94,100,000,000.00 in SpaceX stock, roughly a 6% stake.

@MichaelKerner20 @Variety Why are you surprised? Anyone who has followed Al's career definitely isn't.

@Variety I am surprised Weird Al turned down performing in Saudi Arabia. I wonder what it would have been like it if he did play there. That would've been strange in the end. Still, shows Weird Al's fan base is bigger than even he realized as a comedy recording protege.

“Weird Al” Yankovic turned down a million-dollar offer to perform in Saudi Arabia because "I don’t need to take any amount of money if it makes me feel icky." "I was invited to the Riyadh Comedy Festival, which is something that I obviously did not want to do. They offered me, I’m not going to say how much, but it was seven figures to do one show, which is way more than I’ve ever been offered in my life to do a show. But I just couldn’t be part of that. I’m not dissing anybody that took the money because I’m sure everybody that went there got a lot of money. I’m sure they had their own reasons and justifications for doing it. But I’m doing enough that I don’t need to take any amount of money if it makes me feel icky, and that kind of did.” (via TribLive) variety.com/2026/tv/news/w…

@Dboybruh @unusual_whales The only thing that changes is the likelihood of sharing the jackpot if you do win.

@unusual_whales meaning your chances to win just got a lot slimmer

NEWS: The Powerball is officially expanding internationally, with residents in the United Kingdom able to purchase tickets and compete for the shared jackpot, per CNN

@GamingWithNuke @Polymarket A mayor barely has any power over his own town. It's really quite impressive how fucking dumb some of you motherfuckers are.

@Polymarket Any family members of someone in a political position of power, should not be allowed to win the Powerball or any type of lottery.

JUST IN: Arkansas mayor’s brother identified as the winner of the $1,820,000,000.00 Powerball jackpot.

@SamuelP80895405 @suburbanfraud @Polymarket Where's the coincidence? That a winner had a brother who's mayor of a shithole city in a shithole state? Please explain how a mayor would have any ability whatsoever to rig even a state lottery let alone a national one. You people are fucking insane.

@suburbanfraud @Polymarket We're living in a simulation its not about whether it was "rigged". Too many coincidences in this world.

@Patriot_Barry_X @steve_713_ @DLoesch And yet you have an opinion. Shut the fuck up.

@steve_713_ @DLoesch Why should I?

I’m hearing conflicting things about The Odyssey. I don’t have the attention span for woke trash. But is it actually woke trash? Or is it worth seeing? Feedback preferably from those who’ve actually seen it, please!

@tau_5samsara @miyoshi_michael @bestofstarwar I've already explained why that tactic isn't used in Trek and linked you to a better worded version of what I said. And of course we're assuming that both ships have to follow the rules of their own universe, but in the Star Wars universe, the shields have a static frequency.

@JakeBlues68 @miyoshi_michael @bestofstarwar There's also the matter of the Falcon being a moving target, not exactly the easiest of destinations to beam a solid object on to, and, again, that is a tactic that is never actually used. And who is to say that the shield's frequency is completely stable and non-modulating?

She might not look like much, but she’s got it where it counts