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British Prime Minister Keir Starmer tells Parliament he is a 'gooner'

Become unfollowable

The funniest part about the Trump phone is that he could launch the 2nd Gen Trump phone pre-orders today and all of these dumb fucks would give him another $100.

“He’s about to fill up his tank. End the ceasefire.”

Stopped smoking weed at 23 because it made me anxious. Stopped drinking at 30 because of the hangovers. Nothing left to do but be extremely racist

He’s going to the post office. Add 10 people in line who have never mailed anything in their entire life

i took her to my birdhouse and i beaked it

off a bean on linkedin saying shit like Congratulations! and Phenomenal!

first lunatic in my bloodline to be self aware

Someone has finally started making relatable content on IG

I went to your family’s home and everyone knew you

Snorting a line of reasoning

is this all there is

what if the Mad Men worked from home 😏

last night was a twilight baseball scene

Quite a stark contrast to get back from NOLA and come home to a farmers market with an Italian guitarist

Watching a horse I just learned existed today lose me money at the Derby