Maximillian

Would you rather spend $200 billion to bomb Iran or…? A: give every teacher in America a $62,500 bonus B: provide downpayment assistance for 20 million young families C: build 1,300 rural hospitals

I love having an EV, haven’t looked at gas prices in ages Apparently they’re high again

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what's the nastiest read you've ever seen someone give😭

Since no one will see this anyway, here is a list of everyone I think should be drafted. 1. Mark Levin, we need the enthusiasm you bring to X on the front lines. Drafted. 2. Lindsey Graham, I hear you want to ask South Carolinians to send their sons and daughters to fight for Israel, well homie, You first. Drafted. 3. Ben Shapiro, you say this is the single greatest foreign policy move of your lifetime? You should see it from the front lines, legend. Drafted. 4. Every single person who has been telling Trump he is “the non-Jewish Messiah”. Yes we know about that. Congratulations on cracking the code, you win front row seats to see “Cyrus” usher in your apocalypse. Drafted. 5. Anyone saying “Charlie would have wanted this.” Bro, You’re as evil as they come. But F*** you you’re drafted now. 6. BiBi Netanyahu. I command you to rise from the dead or wherever the heII you are and be drafted. 7. Everybody in the government who supports this war and all their firstborn sons. Drafted. 8. People who believe abortion is healthcare— Guess what. War with Iran is healthcare now. Drafted. 9. The history retarded who think George Washington would want war with Iran. lol. You’re too dumb to insult. Drafted. 10. Men who compete in women sports. Iran is the women’s sports now. Drafted. 11. Every pundit who destroyed their credibility over the last 3 months defending Jeffrey Epstein. Ew. Drafted. 12. Everyone on the Epstein client list. You’re double drafted. 13. Everyone who participated in the 2020 George Floyd riots. Drafted. 14. The Covid tyrants. You’re all drafted now. 15. The corpses of Dick Cheney and John McCain. Drop them in Iran, they should see this. Drafted. 16. The El Salvador Prisoners. Microchip them all, they’re dying for Israel. Drafted. 17. Bill Kristol, David Frum, Max Boot, Jennifer Rubin, Victoria Nuland. Get out of my sight, you’re all drafted. 18. John Bolton. You’re the most drafted of all. 19. The J6 committee. You’re the war with Iran committee now. Drafted. 20. People who don’t like dogs. You can’t be trusted. Drafted. 21. Every podcaster who lied us into this war and every other war. Drafted. 22. Vegans, cyclists, crossfitters, and people with pronouns in their bio. Drafted. 23. Antifa. You psychopaths are fkn crazy. We need that. Drafted. 24. The $7000 club, and anybody is taking money to lie to you. Drafted. 25. Feminists and male feminists. You’re both just awful. Drafted. 26. People who asks Grok “is this is real”. Drafted. 27. PETA. You brought this up upon yourselves. Drafted. 28. Activists for foreign nations. You’re all activists for the war in Iran now. Drafted. 29. People who blow rape whistles at protests. I could not draft you fast enough. 30. People who report their untaxed purchases across state lines. You won’t be hurting America anymore. Drafted. 30. Gun-grabbers. Grab this d***. Drafted. 31. AIPAC. I could not draft you harder if I tried. 31. Furries. Get in the box or your antisemitic. Drafted. 32. Pedos. Get comfortable, you won’t be coming back. Drafted. I reserve the right to add to this list

BOMBSHELL: Iran offered to give away ALL of its enriched uranium during peace talks in Geneva. The British thought it was a credible offer. Hours later, Trump started bombing Iran anyway. The US didn't want peace, they wanted war.

The Afroman Trial. -Cops raid Afromans house for bullshit reasons. -Steal money, break his door, fuck his house up. -No criminality found whatsoever, no charges at all pressed on Afroman. -Afroman spends the next 3 years making songs that make fun of all the officers involved by name, even using footage of the raid from his own CCTV cameras. -Songs had titles like "Randy Walters is a son of a bitch" and "Lick Em Low Lisa" accusing one of the officers of being a lesbian and sleeping with the other officers wives. -During the raid one officer looked like he was about to eat some lemon pound cake sitting on Afromans counter, Afroman made a whole album calling the officer fat. -The cops get mad and file a lawsuit for defamation. -Afroman turns up to court in a whole American flag suit. -Officers performatively mald and cry while listening to the songs really trying to oversell how badly the songs upset them. -One officer was suing because Afroman made a whole song about him saying he was fucking the officers wife. When the officer was asked if Afroman was really fucking his wife, he said "I don't know". Nuking his own case and establishing that there is a non-zero chance that Afroman might actually be fucking his wife. -As his only witness for the trial, Afroman brought a deputies EX FUCKING WIFE. -The jury ruled completely in favour of Afroman. This entire thing has been a great win for free speech and absolutely fucking hilarious.