Ogie Ogilthorpe

“He’s really excited for the sequel to his favorite game. Have Electronic Arts buy the studio.”

“Bring out the piping hot sizzling platter of combo fajitas for two. Now drop it off at the table next to them that was seated a full 15 minutes after they placed their order.”

now tell him that the ice cream machine is broken

Imagine thinking Spencer Pratt has the judgment to be mayor of LA after he couldn’t purchase insurance for his home but could spend $1 million on crystals. What a fucking loser

@PubWanghaf The worst

“Have him tell a hilarious joke. Make sure nobody heard it but the biggest douche canoe in the group. Now have the douche canoe repeat it louder. Make everyone laugh.”

It's called Kars4Kids, T. There's really no way I can tell you any more about it without sounding antisemtic.

He’s finally locked in on his sleep, diet, and exercise. Have his kids bring home a flu from school that’s going to wreck him for 10 days

He just opened Instagram in bed. Put the Hilary Duff SI photos atop his feed. Now make his wife look over.

@RobertFreundLaw What.the.fuck.

Orange County Court says Kars4Kids can no longer run its jingle ads in California, after a lawsuit alleging that donations do not go to underprivileged CA kids but instead to funding trips to Israel for Orthodox Jewish 17/18yos in New York and New Jersey.

@JimmyTraina What are you doing Jimmy? I’m walking the fuck away from that shit

Just paid $13 for one regular pretzel and a small lemonade at Auntie Anne’s. What are we doing? But, like, seriously. What are we doing?

@MiddleAgedGuySD @ReclaimD1

@ReclaimD1 Now make her think that sharing this paints her in a positive light.

In the Captcha asking to select every part of the bike, have it look like one square has a tiny fragment of the bike in it so he has to guess. Now make his guess wrong and lock him out

“Make him wake up 30 minutes before his alarm goes off to take a morning piss.”

He's been laughing at golf memes on X for the last 10 minutes. His wife wants to see what is so funny. Show a picture of a hot girl with huge tits.

the entire X timeline when you like a single Ed Harris Truman Show post

Now make him take 3 percs then get behind the wheel