Owlier Than Thou

@californiapost Reminds me of the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac. He lies awake at night wondering if there’s a dog.

Spencer Pratt puts forth 5-step plan to help 'heavenly' animals in LA: 'Dog is just God backwards' trib.al/4yvOulI

@amandatalks__ @Michele_Tafoya MN GOP would rather have 100% of nothing than 80% of something.

if anyone is wondering why the GOP never has a chance in Minnesota, I have the perfect explanation for you: the GOP recruited the best candidate for Senate in a generation (@Michele_Tafoya) and after a long rules fight this morning, they are now on the third ballot round looking like they won’t endorse her. Every time I think about getting involved in Minnesota politics again I see this and am reminded why I stay away.

@StarTribune By “driver” the Strib means “wingman” or “consigliere”.

Ex-Chief Brian O’Hara’s driver placed on leave from police duties amid misconduct investigation startribune.com/ex-chief-brian…

@FOX9 We all know…

One day after a man was shot and killed outside an Islamic prayer service in Shakopee, police identified him and arrested a suspect in the shooting. fox9.com/news/shakopee-…

@dave__sims Nothing more entertaining than a newbie discovering a parody / shitpost account and trying to chime in as if he has a fvcking clue.

Some notes: First, it’s “breaking” not “braking”. Second, it’s “traitor” not “trader”. Third, it’s “sales” not “sails”. Fourth, it seems that’s Allison Kraus (share.google/QKvmPrwaEqsj4w…) Finally, Shania Twain is Canadian. Other than that, it’s a great post.

@KSTP Also high on the agenda is ensuring boys can share locker rooms with girls and Somalis have unrestricted fraudulent access to your tax dollars.

The Minnesota Democratic-Farmer-Labor Party convention is underway in Rochester. Among other party business, the main event will be voting on candidates to endorse for the August primary. kstp.com/kstp-news/top-…

@EpicClipVault Looks like a Memphis high school graduation.

Biggest NBA fight ever — 86, 30, and 25-game bans, $11.2M in fines 😳

@PioneerPress Peak Minnesota. A guy who should be publicly executed for murder gets 10 years in part because the victim’s spokesperson has fled to Kenya.

Shooter gets 10-year prison sentence for ‘incredibly tragic’ killing of Amazon co-worker in Lakeville twincities.com/2026/05/29/lak…

@TodayinHistory Anything but E is out of the question.

We’re all choosing E, right?

@GrageDustin Michelle Tafoya would be a great candidate, but as long as it isn’t Royce “Fucking Idiot” White the GOP has a chance.

BREAKING: Adam Schwarze leads the first ballot with 38.2% of the vote. The Schwarze campaign was reportedly telling donors this week they had at least 45% support on the first ballot. Michele Tafoya finished second with 24.5%. Based on these numbers, it appears unlikely any candidate will secure the endorsement tonight. Candidates need 60% support to receive the party endorsement.

@django It is in fact the primary selling point of a career in archeology.

watching Indiana Jones for the first time, do archaeologists typically kill this many people?

@theepicmap Minneapolis to Des Moines says, “I’ll hold my own beer. I sure won’t have to negotiate a turn”.

The most "boring" drive between two American cities: Denver to Kansas City, MO.

@TraditionSarah Where’d he lear to write English?

I have upset the Somalis. Good.

@reddit_lies The good news is AI can help draft the lawsuit.

Daily reminder that AI detectors are a scam and literally do not work.

🚨 BREAKING: Angie Craig (D) will skip the Minnesota DFL endorsing convention and opt to go directly to the primary. Peggy Flanagan (D) is now effectively the DFL Endorsed candidate for U.S. Senate in Minnesota. This is significant because we are set to see a bloody primary on the Democrat’s side of the isle going into August. If Republicans manage to endorse Michele Tafoya this weekend in Duluth, we will have a significant fundraising advantage going into November with Democrats in a circular squad. Don’t blow this one, Minnesota Republicans.

NEW: DFL Congresswoman Angie Craig announces she will forgo the DFL endorsement for U.S. Senate and run in the August primary. Craig faces Lt. Gov. Peggy Flanagan in the DFL primary for U.S. Senate. Flanagan has been endorsed by Bernie Sanders, Ilhan Omar, and Keith Ellison.

@MinnesotaDFL This is a parody account right?

The DFL is profoundly shaken and devastated by the horrific shooting today at the Canterbury Park Expo Center. This senseless act of violence occurred during a sacred prayer service — a time meant for peace, reflection, and community — leaving one person fatally wounded. Our hearts are with the victim, their family, and the entire community traumatized by this tragedy. We stand in absolute solidarity with Minnesota’s Muslim community during this dark hour. This attack is part of a deeply alarming national rise in threats and violence targeting mosques and other religious institutions. We stand in solidarity against this violence and remain committed to ensuring the safety of all Minnesotans.

@ZacksJerryRig @FBIHouston @FBI

@FBIHouston yo @FBI i have a hot tip for you at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. The dude who lives there is named the Epstein files 30,000 times.

#BREAKING A Canadian man has been sentenced to 33 years in federal prison for targeting over 100 children across the U.S. in one of FBI Houston's largest sextortion cases. For years, Ramanan Pathmanathan, 40, used multiple social media accounts to contact at least 145 girls and boys demanding them to engage in sexually explicit conduct. If they declined, he threatened to send compromising images to the children’s friends or family. This was a years-long investigation by FBI Houston's Child Exploitation and Human Trafficking Task Force and @TXDPSsoutheast. ow.ly/WJyB50Z4RLk

@StarTribune Way to bury the lede (actually you ignored it altogether). The investigation he was accused of interfering in was an investigation into him shtupping another MPD employee.

A disciplinary report shows Minneapolis Police Chief Brian O'Hara was investigated for interfering with an investigation conducted by a law firm for the city. startribune.com/with-disciplin…

BREAKING : more to come