Phil Wagner

@ThatEricAlper I Love Lucy, M*A*S*H, and anything with “Star Trek” in the title.

What show is forever going to be your comfort show?

@ThatEricAlper I don’t recall which film it was, but in it an airplane crashed, and a number of people died. I was so terrified of airplanes for the next decade that I refused to go to Italy with my high school Latin class. I did go on the trip, but I was terrified.

I want to hear it!

@fesshole I knew someone with a similar issue. She finally mentioned that she would prefer he brush his teeth before kissing her, so he started brushing his teeth after taking his morning shower and before bedtime and using mouthwash after lunch. Problem solved.

My husband brushes his teeth only once a day and I am going to leave him because of it.

@WafflesInfo @fesshole I live in Texas, & every year the State Fair rolls out more goodies dipped in batter & deep fried. I’ve seen deep fried Snickers bars, deep fried ice cream sandwiches, & even deep fried beer. I feel sorry for the hearts of the folks who eat these concoctions.

@fesshole I'm Scottish and fed up of the 'hoho, Scots batter everything' cliché. Every culture on earth eats battered deep fried food. Why do we allow and encourage ourselves to be the butt of shite jokes? Do better.

We never used the term "cake batter" when I was a kid, we said "cake mix." When I first heard cake batter, in my early 20s, I assumed someone took a slice of cake, dipped it in batter and deep fried it. As I'm Scottish I don't think this is completely unreasonable.

@fesshole I use children’s toothpaste because most adult toothpastes have an ingredient in them to which I am allergic. This ingredient is missing in adult toothpastes for persons with sensitive teeth & gums, but the children’s toothpaste is cheaper & tastes better.

Been using children's toothpaste for a while now. My teeth feel much cleaner after using it and as a bonus it changes colour to let you know you've brushed enough, double win.

@KatiePMcGrady I’ll still eat there. I’m lactose intolerant, and Cracker Barrel cooks everything in oil or margarine. It’s the only restaurant where I can order practically everything on the menu.

I cannot express enough how absolutely ridiculous it is that anyone cares about the logo rebranding of a restaurant known for being right off the interstate or in hotel parking lots.

@ConradEduard @tweetmobb That’s also been my experience. I grew up in small farming towns where Confessions were 1 hr before Saturday evening Mass w/ long lines. Now I live in a city with 4 churches w/ different times for Confession throughout the week.

Really? I'd say from my entire adult life (early 80s) until around 2005, it was only available Saturday afternoons (one parish had Saturday morning) around here, the lines were long, and it was quite inconvenient. Now, it's no problem at all, but there was a time when that was not the case.

I find the cycle of confession complaining really tiring bc in my 43 years I’ve never lived or BEEN anywhere where it was remotely difficult to have my confession heard (& I didn’t go to seminary until I was 27.) Not saying it doesn’t exist but it doesn’t align with my experience

@ThatEricAlper “I’m sorry, Dave. I cannot do that.”

What is a movie quote you could say where almost always people will know where it is from?

@SwPrayer Amen.

Let us offer one Hail Mary for the repose of the soul of Fr. Luka Jomo, who was killed in El Fasher, the capital of North Darfur State, Sudan.Please comment Amen as a response. #OneHailMarycampaign

@Joeinblack After swearing to that statement we were free to marry.

@Joeinblack Maybe it’s different in your diocese or maybe it’s a more recent policy, but when my wife and I married 31 years ago, each of us met privately with our pastor and had to swear that neither of us had been married before or taken religious vows.

Story One: I’ve got a former parishioner who moved to a diocese in California. He became Catholic while there this Easter & is getting ready to marry a Catholic gal. His new diocese is requiring his mother had to fill out a form promising he had not married before. I had to sign the document because her word was not enough, apparently. Not only that, but I am required to send this document to my chancellor to sign because apparently, my word is not enough either. I called the diocese in California four days ago to ask why my word is not enough and why they are requiring this extra step. I left my number and asked them to call back because they are scaring this groom. They never called me back. What they did do was call the groom to be and tell him they need that form ASAP.

@AnthonyJohnLap1 @Sachinettiyil When I lived up north, I always wore a coat and tie to Mass. Now that I live in Texas, in the summertime I forego wearing my “Sunday best” in June, July, and August due to the oppressive heat and humidity. It’s more a matter of comfort than reverence.

@Sachinettiyil They are not wearing suits. Or even a tie. Shameful lack of reference.

On Father’s Day, 200 Catholic moms in Texas surprised their husbands as they arrived for Mass by dressing them all in matching polos—a gift the dads only realized they had in common when they showed up at church. Video: Kristen Combo

@Liberdade80 @fesshole I inferred that as well. I’m just saying that in some circumstances a person can’t opt out of Christmas and that telling someone to “grow a spine” is quite inappropriate if you don’t understand their circumstances.

@PhilWagner19 @fesshole The fess implies they are 50 🤷‍♂️

I have enjoyed Christmas about twice in my 50 years. Too many people, too many gatherings, such a short period. It's relentless and overwhelming. I wish it was an opt-in thing and I could tell people that I'm not doing it this year, like people choose to do Dry January.

@Liberdade80 @fesshole That’s not always possible when one is a child growing up in an abusive home. I couldn’t opt out of Christmas with my folks until I moved to another state to go to college.

@fesshole You can opt-out, you just need a spine. Maybe ask for one for Christmas...

@mfjlewis @TooMuchCoffee67 The problem here is the medium. The character restraints on X don’t allow for much in the way of clarification. Personally, I think he’s still upset that he lost his bishopric, but, then again, he did violate his vow of obedience on several occasions.

@TooMuchCoffee67 This is at least the second time he has publicly declared the pope an apostate. That is the language of schism. If he wants to clarify, there is nothing stopping him. Until he does, I will not ignore the clear evidence he has given that shows he has broken communion.

Bishop Strickland is not only wrong, but arguably with this tweet he has de facto separated himself from communion with the Catholic Church.

@fesshole I taught my older son, but my younger son taught himself via YouTube videos.

Somehow the topic of learning to shave came up in the office. Most of the guys were taught by their dad. Mine buggered off when I was 15 and I had to admit that I learned from watching Lethal Weapon 3. I always wonder if anyone else learned the same way.

@HJB3996 @PedanticDC @fesshole I thought so, too, but I’ve met a lot of men who didn’t do that and wondered why their faces weren’t smoother.

@PedanticDC @fesshole I thought everyone shaved against the grain.

@jarinnicole @FrHilderbrand As a former seminarian, I can affirm that elocution is part of a priest’s training. However, a priest raised and trained in one country may speak well in his native tongue, yet struggle in another language.

@FrHilderbrand Seems like elocution should be part of seminary training.

@JohnCBHA @fesshole Something similar happened in my first apartment. I was installing a new shower curtain rod, and my shoulder nudged a ceiling tile. I heard something on the other side, so I moved the tile and found a small stack of porno mags stacked above the ceiling.

@fesshole In my first flat I found 30 ish 20+ year old porn magazines that had be hidden behind the panel of the bath. One day someone will be l enjoying your stash, just not in the way you did!!!

When I left student accommodation, I'd collected a large amount of porn that I couldn't sneak home, I stashed it over several cross sections of floating ceiling tiles and like to think it's still sitting there today.