Rodney Munch

@NoContextBrits Let off some steam, Bennett!

Without Googling, give me a Shakespeare quote.

@anon_opin They'll get even hotter when theres a fire below, the lifts stop working, and they have to try to walk down the stairs. Great idea

Heat rises. Old people find colder temperatures much harder to bear. It therefore follows that the top floors of blocks of flats should be reserved for the elderly. They get the benefit of the heated flats below them, thus saving money on utility bills.

@mikebrewer Roy puts 50p in a jar before inflating his tyres. If he's not finished in 3 minutes, he puts another 50p in the jar

Appreciate the abuse.. it’s a TV show about two guys fixing up cars for a profit. We are not a service Garage. When was the last time you charged yourself Labour? I’m fixing up your car. The show isn’t for you. I hope you find something that you enjoy.

@fesshole Cool story Malcom

Hungover on the bus to work, had to run off to throw up. Realise I've done it outside the school gates, where a group of mums & kids are looking at me with horror & disgust. Pat my stomach and say "pregnant", disgust instantly turns to sympathy, was even given some water

@AvonandsomerRob Use your local butcher

What the heck just happened to the price of MINCE? 😶

@doris_from Looks just like the drummer from that 90s grunge band, Pearl Jam

RIP Ace Frehley. Your fingers truly kissed the fret board. Known for your white face paint, I hope it wasn’t that that took the lead from your pencil. Never the pretender, more the hero. Get up that stairway to heaven.

@safcsappers @fesshole Meet me at Alfreton services, I'll be in me brown 1976 Vauxhall Viva, we'll go in convoy Jeff👍

@RMunch4483 @fesshole Where on the A38……asking for a friend😆

Worked for a now dead national restaurant chain. After being kept on, through a period of administration and new ownership, I knew it was time to finally leave witnessing the new owner of the business instruct his team of 'shop fitters' to tile over a cockroach infestation.

@avfcfern Not boycotting as such, but I go with my 12 year old lad. Genuinely concerned for what might happen in and around the ground, first time since I've been taking him that I've considered giving a game a miss for his safety

As fans, our priority should be going to support Villa and watch the game. A proper fan wouldn’t be boycotting the game for a decision completely out of the clubs hands. Villa should not pay any consequences for a decision made by a third party.

@StockportTrains @fesshole That's a long way to travel, no dildo shops in Reading?😜

@RMunch4483 @fesshole Shit, I live in Reading and I know the one you mean!

@nastybutler @fesshole Didn't stay long enough to check, me old fruit. Grabbed me copy of Razzle from the book-swap table, and hit the road

@RMunch4483 @fesshole Do they only do dildos? Missing out on all the gimp outfits, cock rings and spanking paddles if so 🤣

@fesshole Juanker

Downloaded a VPN on my phone for obvious reasons, thought I would get away with it until sitting in car with my wife and my podcast started playing adverts in bloody Spanish.

@shayes85 @fesshole You got it Shaun

@RMunch4483 @fesshole We all know the one

@Frosty_Swan1937 @fesshole Good lad Frosty

@fesshole What a bellend

In my youth, aconstantly horny teenage lad, watched a lot of porn. Saw all the men were circumcised, wondered why I wasn't or should I be. Tried to sellotape my foreskin back for a few days to see if would work. It didn't. Just very uncomfortable.

@fesshole Fuck off away from Fesshole with yer politics you boring bastard. What's up, friends and family don't talk to you anymore because you've bored all them to death with it? I come here to read stories about wanking in inappropriate places and shitting in public. Once again, fuck off

Recently attended Tory conference for work hoping to laugh at their sad, gloomy faces. But they were all delighted, they're so arrogant they genuinely think they're doing well and will win the next election. Infuriating to watch at the time but very funny how delusional they are.

@mattzzjunkla @anon_opin Yeah i couldn't remember the exact figure, but you catch my drift👍anyway gotta go, need to get my 8th booster of the year🤪

@RMunch4483 @anon_opin Have to correct you, it's way more than 99% survival 👍 In fact the overwhelming majority who died were ably assisted by the protocols enforced, whilst they were already sick with one or more comorbities, at their average age of 82. A total shitty lying scam. It was flu season.

Covid was a wasted opportunity. During lockdown the climate of earth drastically improved, outdated work practices were uprooted & people had time for their own lives. It's a shame none of that continued.

@fesshole Now a brownfield site

Once on a walk I had to use my pants as loo roll and buried them in a field. Now it's tradition every time I have to retire a pair of undies. Future farmers will think they've found the world's saddest ritual site.