Richard Ilderton

The sales guy at my work, a man in his 50s, calls milk "moo juice". I've just recommended him for redundancy based solely on this fact.

Always great to pop into @waterstonesncl to sign some books. Mostly the new paperbacks of The Inside Man but quite a few of the others too. If you fancy a signed copy then you know what to do (while stocks last!)

Nightshift views..

I've been a paramedic a few years now and let me tell you. Old dudes dying of a heart attach in bed with beautiful ladies, never happens. But over half of our cardiac incidents are guys wanking alone in front of a screen. Might be because of the city where I work, I guess.

My dad drowned when I was small and I don't mind people knowing, but when they go too far and ask details like "How did he drown?" I say "He breathed in too much water" and just look at them to see how uncomfortable they get.

@PsmithlikePsalm Had a can last night Realise i have zero clue how to describe it 🤔

What does irn-bru actually taste like?

@TrevorWoodWrite @willrdean @neillancaster66 @gbpoliceadvisor @QuercusBooks Just so you know, I'm coming to Corbridge to see you (even as a Traitors fan ☺️)

Lots of events coming up in Feb and March to mark the pb release of The Inside Man, many in the North East Details here: trevorwoodauthor.co.uk/events/ They include events with some brilliant writers including @willrdean @neillancaster66 @gbpoliceadvisor and Harriet Tyce @QuercusBooks

@TrevorWoodWrite @ForumBooks Tickets bought!

Don't hang about if you fancy going to see me and Harriet Tyce chatting about books (and maybe some other stuff!) at the ever-fabulous @ForumBooks, tickets are flying out the door. Can't think why.... ticketsource.co.uk/forumbooks/for…

@BadmanBegins I can see it 🦭

If anyone can confirm that this is visible to them, I’d appreciate it

Coming very soon - The Inside Man is out in paperback on February 12. Available from all good bookshops and other stockists but here's a pre-order link to the fabulous @ForumBooks to get you started. forumbooksshop.com/product/the-in… Got to grab it just because of that tagline, surely?

Photos from a New Year’s Day walk… Delighted to see the AED cabinet we donated ready for use if needed. It is next door to @rileysfishshack and available 24/7. Thank you to @richardilderton for facilitating this with our @drmnorton @rick_stein @ntcouncilteam #Tynemouth

Looking after my one year old nephew. He took a nasty trip running around & started screaming. His ankle looked dislocated so I called an ambulance & held his leg still trying to keep him calm. Paramedics had to stop themselves laughing when they told me it was his sock twisted

Did not fancy the drive home after shift this morning 😫 6am so not many cars on the road at least 😊 #Paramedic #Ambulance #Nightshift #Snow

One of the defibs I look after was deployed over the weekend so needed checking Little diversion on the way back from shift and it's all sorted and back online 😀

@pjsrobertson At least my kids will need therapy for the normal levels of bad parenting 😂

Suddenly I’m the friend that’s too woke but mocking your own child for likes is so weird and nasty

@PsmithlikePsalm I was going to suggest these too 🤣🤣

I had forgotten

This week we've been celebrating Organ Donation Week🩷 Right now, over 8,000 people in the UK are waiting for a transplant. Sadly, every day, someone dies waiting. Register or confirm your choice today: orlo.uk/vKz3f

@wheatus @geofftate Mindcrime is an excellent album!

randomly bumped into one of my ultra heroes today. @geofftate ...caught some of his soundcheck in memphis today...we're playing the same venue tonight. your boy sounds better than ever!

Child 3 playing in Leeds last week with labyrinthine oceans Great to get down and see him play live ❤️ #ProudDad #LiveMusic #Drummer

@wheatus Andy Sturmer 😊

levon helm