@bebookled When I wear a dress I swear people are more polite and nicer to me
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StrikeBelow
1.9K posts
This is not at all a toot my own horn post, but I often get complimented on my clothes when I’m out shopping, and I honestly think it’s because the sight of a woman in a dress is just so foreign to our eyes as a culture. Like I can be in a prairie skirt and tshirt and ppl notice
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@beckBrudeck @HVNYrefugee You are correct. Also, Kentucky has dry stone walls. They are all over nearby me. They’re fantastic!
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@HVNYrefugee Kentucky is left. England has dry stone walls not fence posts and wire.
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One of these is Kentucky.
One is England.
Which is which?
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There are hundreds of lightning bugs out tonight. I wish I could have captured the true light show but this picture is pretty cool too
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@HVNYrefugee Are those Ash trees? Beetle ravaged? Also the big weeds in pasture look like the ones I chopped down the other day. Almost as tall as me
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@HVNYrefugee Left is Kentucky. The trees and the plant types give it away, I think
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@Sainty54321 @AdelheidMonroe I’ve heard about this exact scenario from friends who are in baby years. Beyond me how a MIL could stay at the house and not be helpful. That *is* a nightmare and should not be tolerated for an actual staying house visit.
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@AdelheidMonroe My mother came for a week. In that week I didn't have to cook, clean or do laundry. She kept an eye on the baby when I showered.
My MIL came for 4 days. She didn't even make me a cup of tea.
Some people are helpers, some are visitors. New mothers don't need visitors.
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I have a different perspective. As someone likely closer in years to being a MIL than a postpartum DIL. What if you DO have a horrible mean DIL that doesn’t want you to come for 3 months, while her entire extended family was over there immediately afterwards. She only wants you to stay for 3 days and they were there for a week.
Do you complain to your son, do you write your DIL long messages about how this isn’t fair. Do you send your husband to talk sense to your son. NO you don’t. You adjust your expectations. Your relationship with your DIL is not good, that might be all her fault, but that’s who your son is married to, and that’s the mother of your grand children.
The BEST thing you can do is be kind and respectful of her and hope and pray that the relationship improves with time. None of the above behaviors will improve your relationship.
Taryn@TarynA83
Ladies. I am telling you this right now. Your husband’s family matters when you have a baby. You can say they aren’t allowed in for delivery. You can ask for limited time visits. You can ask for your husband to entertain and introduce the baby if you want to stay in bed. BUT- asking his parents/grandparents to wait to meet them while you let your family in is cruel and selfish. EVEN IF they might annoy you, or his mom is an attention hog, your baby is just as much your husband’s. Your recovery needs matter, but alienating them is wrong.
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Agree with this as well.
And I’m closer to MIL age now. I have a daughter and a son. If my daughter treated her husband’s family this way, I’d ask about it. I’d be surprised if she did.
Heidi Monroe@AdelheidMonroe
I have a different perspective. As someone likely closer in years to being a MIL than a postpartum DIL. What if you DO have a horrible mean DIL that doesn’t want you to come for 3 months, while her entire extended family was over there immediately afterwards. She only wants you to stay for 3 days and they were there for a week. Do you complain to your son, do you write your DIL long messages about how this isn’t fair. Do you send your husband to talk sense to your son. NO you don’t. You adjust your expectations. Your relationship with your DIL is not good, that might be all her fault, but that’s who your son is married to, and that’s the mother of your grand children. The BEST thing you can do is be kind and respectful of her and hope and pray that the relationship improves with time. None of the above behaviors will improve your relationship.
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@AdelheidMonroe And more likely than not, you probably have some sort of relationship issue with your son that needs some work.
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@GJCMDP @mrsmeganeverly Why is that relevant? What you did during your birth is irrelevant to what another mom decides is best for her during hers. Accept the fact that DIL & MIL are not on equal footing. The DIL who just gave birth is the only person who’s feelings matter at this time.
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Know a family who has gone over & above to placate their passive aggressive, manipulative DIL. She told them, "The babies immune system is weak so we don't want anyone over" then posted countless pics of HER family holding and kissing the baby. 🫠😡
Taryn@TarynA83
Ladies. I am telling you this right now. Your husband’s family matters when you have a baby. You can say they aren’t allowed in for delivery. You can ask for limited time visits. You can ask for your husband to entertain and introduce the baby if you want to stay in bed. BUT- asking his parents/grandparents to wait to meet them while you let your family in is cruel and selfish. EVEN IF they might annoy you, or his mom is an attention hog, your baby is just as much your husband’s. Your recovery needs matter, but alienating them is wrong.
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This whole ‘vulnerable’ talking point is throwing me. Repeated and repeated. Is childbirth different now than 20+yrs ago when I gave birth? Yeah, it’s major. But I don’t recall this level of delicate feeling in anyone. Regardless, it’s no reason to exclude grandparents from their grandchild! What incredible disrespect to your husband too. I cannot fathom. How sad.
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@Obey_the_Beagle It sounds rude and offensive bc it IS rude and offensive. Even with another side of the story it's not ok to treat your husband's family that way. I know them all personally and there was absolutely no reason. Even w a Mom in a vulnerable state.
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Man, the commentary on this post is so twisted. I almost died giving birth once and I was simply not at all so out of sorts that I excluded any close family from meeting baby. Barring severe abusive dysfunction, I would not keep grandparents from their grandbaby. That’s a level of cruelty I can’t achieve and I’m not even that nice a person, really.
Taryn@TarynA83
Ladies. I am telling you this right now. Your husband’s family matters when you have a baby. You can say they aren’t allowed in for delivery. You can ask for limited time visits. You can ask for your husband to entertain and introduce the baby if you want to stay in bed. BUT- asking his parents/grandparents to wait to meet them while you let your family in is cruel and selfish. EVEN IF they might annoy you, or his mom is an attention hog, your baby is just as much your husband’s. Your recovery needs matter, but alienating them is wrong.
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@TarynA83 I never even considered not including my in-laws. I simply would never ever exclude them (barring very exceptional). How mean.
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Ladies. I am telling you this right now. Your husband’s family matters when you have a baby. You can say they aren’t allowed in for delivery. You can ask for limited time visits. You can ask for your husband to entertain and introduce the baby if you want to stay in bed. BUT- asking his parents/grandparents to wait to meet them while you let your family in is cruel and selfish. EVEN IF they might annoy you, or his mom is an attention hog, your baby is just as much your husband’s. Your recovery needs matter, but alienating them is wrong.
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Revamped some furniture this week and I love the texture so much
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@OldHollowTree I’m sure not gonna be shamed for having this 1/2 mile of romantic country gravel drive with a green strip in the middle. It’s simple and I love it. I moved away from a pavement and concrete environment on purpose.
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People are dragging him but here in New England a gravel or dirt driveway doesn’t get destroyed by frost heaves.
I’ve seen people move up here and pave their driveway only for it to grow a massive speed bump their first winter.
▼ Kiel James Patrick@KJP
This is your sign to rip up your asphalt driveway and replace it with gravel 🫣
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@track696777 @KJP Dang. I did not know my gravel driveway was garnering such derision. I love it
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This is your sign to rip up your asphalt driveway and replace it with gravel 🫣
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@Romy_Holland @ToWasteAway I know people do this but I would not.
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@ToWasteAway you wouldn’t walk a block with your baby monitor while your baby was asleep for the night?
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i have now spent 12 days straight with my MIL. all day, every day she’s always there, interrupting us by pointing at something fiancé and i just spent 2 minutes discussing going “oh look at that!”
our house has paper walls. i can always hear her talking. fiancé and i are never alone.
now i am home eating a protein bar for dinner while the two of them go to a dinner i really wanted because she’s too nervous to leave the baby sleeping while we eat 5 min away. i said “no no, you two go and have a nice time. i’ll stay home with the baby” even tho i stay home with the baby every single day of my life and i’m theoretically on vacation.
i know perhaps mother theresa did more, but i would like to formally submit my request for sainthood. i’m honestly not that good a person and this is the closest i’ll probably ever come.
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@ChiTownTim27 I’m Gen X-49- 50 this year. I do not feel like this at all. I feel like a full grown adult.
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I am 53 years old but I don't feel like a "grown up".....is the a Gen X thing or does everyone feel like this?!?!?
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