Natasha Something

It's never too early to prepare for our dystopian future, bypass T-ball and teach the children welding and basic pillaging skills.

going no contact with the narrative

Sorry, but my mom likes my old TC better.

I sure do laugh a lot for someone who’s “hahahaving” a hard time

For Mother's Day, I sent mine a friend request.

temu energy drink gave me night vision

I had a sliver of hope but was able to remove it with some tweezers and a pin.

haha, you’re right, how come every time i see a video of someone playing with a lion it’s all gentle & cuddly like a kitten but whenever i play with a lion at the zoo i’m immediately eaten alive.

Me from October to May: "are we ever gonna see the sun again?" Me after 2 days of sun in June: "omg this is unbearable when will this torture end"

So is it "Clean when you are angry" or "Get Angry when you clean"? I forgot which it is.

Twitter is the best way to waste 5 minutes in less then 4 hours.

If you haven't laughed today, you've wasted a day you can never get back.

A washing machine that warns you when it detects little balls of tissue paper in your pockets

Happy Mother's Day you sexy bitches. We're going to take you out to eat and load you up with sugar and carbs so you can barely keep your eyes open the rest of the day.

“Well my mom loves me” Me: yeah well that’s what makes moms so special…they love you no matter what the hell is wrong with you

most architects become strangely quiet when you question them about skeleton-proof structures

First of all, never mind.

Got my girlfriend a Marie Kondo book for her birthday. Boy, did that wind up backfiring.

filling my gas tank with jello

The date abruptly ended after a heated debate over candy bars.

Never see lawn gnomes anymore. They must have migrated.