Rory Porteous

Happy St. Patrick's Day, New York.

Bruno Fernandes is in a league of his own 🎯🔴 [@SkySportsPL]

HOW IS THIS NORMAL? Trump on the girls’ school in Minab: “The Tomahawk missile that destroyed it could have been anyone’s. A Tomahawk is very generic.” Facts: Tomahawk missiles are manufactured by RTX in Phoenix, Arizona. The US sells them to exactly four countries: the UK, Australia, Japan, and the Netherlands. None of them are at war with Iran. The White House already confirmed behind closed doors to Congress that the US targeted the area. CNN confirmed US responsibility. 165 girls aged 7-12 are dead. And the President of the United States just told the American people a Tomahawk missile is “very generic.” This is not a mistake. This is not confusion. This is a lie. On camera. About dead children.

Irish comedian Vittorio Angelone cooked Penny Mordaunt.

🔴🗣️Patrice Evra on Michael Carrick: "I really don't understand the LACK of support behind Michael Carrick, he's one of us and he's doing very well. There's been NEGATIVE analysis from Scholesy, but also from Roy Keane and Gary Neville. It annoys me because we want to be in the top four, and those comments are unnecessary, but this is what you do when you work in TV. You can’t be positive, you have to be NEGATIVE ." [via @Stake] #MUFC

“Foreign religion” he thinks Jesus walked on water in Brighton and was resurrected in Norwich

This is how the drill is supposed to look. Stride maintained Extension through reception Ball dead stopped upon contact Running through the reception is a skill and is one part of what unlocks elite YAC

Benjamin Šeško since Tim Sherwood said “ he’s not good enough to play for #MUFC ” : 👕 8 appearances ⚽ 7 goals ⏱️ 303 minutes 🎯 1 goal every 43 minutes That take has aged badly. 😭📉

Ireland up by 28 points and Stu McCloskey finds another gear to reel in Marcus Smith and take his soul. Beast mode.

🚨 Andy Burnham (mayor of Manchester): "If any criticism is needed, it should be directed towards those who have contributed nothing to our life here and have instead spent years SIPHONING wealth out of one of our PROUDEST institutions." #mufc

“He does no lookers.” Matthew Stafford’s children weigh in on his greatness. The best thing you’ll see all day.

This Irish ad for nasal strips is an all-timer

How is this not a penalty? Mbeumo keeps the ball, Cuenca clumsily bundles him down from behind & cannot get to the ball without doing it. That's a stonewall penalty. x.com/euromedia5990/…

WOWWWWW 😍❤️ x.com/surafel383204/…

Manchester United fans, new angles just dropped! We are never gna get enough of these victories 😭❤️

We're still not over last night’s game and we’ve kept you waiting long enough... Check out our Watchalong highlights from a memorable night in the capital 🤩🔥 Absolute limbs 🤯 #MUFC

Cristiano Ronaldo joined from Sporting for £12m in his age 18 season. He had 14 goals & assists in 40 apps (168.2 mins per G/A). Florian Wirtz joined from Leverkusen for £116m in his age 23 season. He has 10 goals & assists in 30 apps (206.9 mins per G/A). In Cristiano Ronaldo's age 23 season, he won the Premier League, Champions League, the Ballon d'Or, FIFA World POTY, UEFA Club Footballer of the Year, PL Golden Boot, CL Golden Boot, European Golden Shoe, PL POTY & was named in the FIFPro World XI. Oh, and he had 51 G/A. I'm embarrassed for you.

They spent all week trying to tell us they'd beat 2008 Manchester United and couldn't even beat 2026 Manchester United. 😭