Armed Esquire

Being strapped into a rocket and then discovering the system runs on Microsoft is the stuff of nightmares

I can't believe that the Defense Department isn't holding a Catholic mass on a day when Catholics don't hold mass.

Obviously what these downed pilots need to do is find an old, abandoned fighter jet in an unguarded hanger and steal it

Update: a federal judge has ordered Artemis to return to Earth immediately

Yes, firearms are already on bases. Private firearms are sold on base (AAFES), transported on base, and stored on base (private lodging, Armory). All that’s ever stopped their misuse is the people buying, transporting, and storing them are trustworthy—as all military members must be.

FWIW -- I cover a lot of courts-martial and I can tell that guns are already on bases. Most violent crime trials have evidence that shows an unregistered firearm by some party found on base. Even seen where a soldier shot someone off base then took the gun on post to hide it.

Coming soon to annual training

Secretary of War Pete Hegseth has issued a new memo to base commanders across the force directing them to allow War Department personnel to request to carry privately owned firearms while in their nonofficial duty capacity on DOW property within the United States.

For the love of God, don't skip your class!

@Motherhoodspx You could also ban any crayons/markers except for black and grey to make things even more cheery

No Red 40 allowed in this house

If you’re working on your taxes this week don’t forget to report your income from illegal activities and stolen property

VA determined to not be service connected.

i’ll teach you how to do an australian accent. say this out loud exactly as it’s written have you bean to spice lightly

@historyinmemes Why other CEOs say they stand “behind” their vehicles’ safety features.

That moment when the Volvo Cars CEO personally demonstrated the vehicle’s automatic braking system by standing directly in front of the car as it approached.

The U.S. should add 3 more states. Because 53 is a prime number. Then they can truly be one nation, indivisible.

@SellersCounsel “I wasted time because I used a tool widely known to confidently hallucinate case law, statutes, and regulations, and which courts have sanctioned, censured, and reprimanded other attorneys for relying on. Should the client pay for this?” ;)

Alright all you AI for Lawyers experts, I have an ethical dilemma I need you to solve for me: Assume I bill hourly. I use AI to perform a task that would have taken me an hour to do without it, but it only takes 15 minutes. Ethics would say I can only bill 15 minutes for it. But what if I spend more time because of AI? Say it sends me on a wild goose chase and I spend an hour reviewing and analyzing caselaw that isn't applicable or doesn't actually exist, and the project takes me an hour and 15 minutes. What do I bill then?

Do not go gentle into savings of daylight, Rage, rage against the dying of the night

@BackwardsFeet If you’re the cantor: “For our hymn of praise, please join in singing a hymn by Secretary of War Pete Hegseth’s Uncle.” Pause. Let the murmurs crescendo. Then continue, “Gather Us In. Number 42.”

Pete Hegseth's mom is Marty Haugen's sister Hegseth is the nephew of the composer of "Gather Us In", "All Are Welcome", "Eye Has Not Seen", and "Shepherd Me, O God"

You want me to be physically present at a meeting in the office? Like the Ayatollah?

*Russia banned from the cup for attacking Ukraine* *USA, which will host the next cup, attacks Iran* FIFA president:

After reading the effects of alcohol and smoking I have decided to quit reading.