Craig Armstrong

@crazyclips_ Arrest this guy ASAP 😭😭

@centregoals Fantastic control for the drag by on the keeper to roll ball into the net. Great skill.

The type of goal that only happens in FIFA 😮‍💨

@NoContextBrits British postal workers, harder than diamond.

No matter how much it rains in Britain, you’ll always find a postman wearing shorts.

@STVSport The world is making Russia a parish over Ukraine, Olympics, end of WW2 and in particular the liberation of Nazi Concentration camps. Israel bombs and enters other nations with supports and arms from western powers.

FIFA will decide on Thursday whether to suspend Israel from international football. buff.ly/3BpEGzw

His soul left his body and came back 😂 poor dad 😂😂😂

@FarvaRangers Fans think of progressing to win a trophy. The Rangers fans see it as money in the bank, suppose they know how desperately money is needed rather than success for the club.

What a result tonight in Denmark against Malmo. And what a result for the balance sheet. £1m for 3 points £500k per goal Total income £3m for winning in Denmark.

@mjfree One thing they won't need is body armour. They look like they have plenty already, nothing is getting through those layers of lard.

Where is this?

@lisboninthesun @FaeTheYY They now have an alternative to a double bounty bar. It is great. Yum yum.

@FaeTheYY Stock up on Aldi's stuff. Their version are better than both originals. Titan is the Mars bar one and Jive the Twix. They also do a snickers called Racers

Tell ye what does need tackled in this country. The prices of confectionery, sandwiches and bottled water and juice in service stations. There are absolutely no valid reasons for a twix being nearly 4 quid 😂😂😂

@fesshole Spoke with a company selling conservatories and patios. I was having a whale of a time getting excited about how good my new conservatory was going to look. I then suddenly remembered that I lived in a third floor flat, what a downer that was telling the rep.

When the 'calling about your car crash in the last five years' scammers phone I try and keep them on the line as long as possible. One time, bored on my commute, I set a record of 26 mins 22 seconds. My life's work will be to try and beat that.

@PierslandKillie Felt Killie looked more of a threat than saints. It could have been quite a different game with 11, or a ref/VAR without an agenda.

That's an outstanding performance and point in the circumstances. Players are working their arses off. We're low in the table but it won't last long, get behind them.

@KilmarnockFC I was so hoping that it was a Rooney (OG). That would have been wonderful karma.

Marley at the double! 70' | ⚫️2-2🐿️

@JuliaHB1 @DavidLammy Julia, you really need to get out more and experience the grown up world. Germany, France etc politicians and people in public eye regularly wear trainer type shoe etc. Maybe in you need a tight fitting heel or stiletto to help blood returning to your brain.

Kids get sent home from school for wearing trainers with their uniform instead of smart shoes. But apparently it's just fine for our Foreign Secretary @DavidLammy to wear trainers with his suit while on an official visit to our most important ally? Good grief.

@CitizenPete1983 @HibernianFC I am sure that if Hibs had any concerns about Kieron being fit enough to go, they could have stopped the call up.

@HibernianFC A £500k signing wiped out for half the season due to the complete incompetence of Gemil and his coaching staff. Hope the recovery goes well, Kieron!

Following scans, we can confirm Kieron Bowie has suffered a serious hamstring injury on international duty. Everyone at Hibs is with you during your recovery, Kieron 💚

@ThatEricAlper Couldn't get it right. Fun lovin' Criminals.

What's a song you fell in love with, not because of the original, but the cover version?

@elonmusk @realDonaldTrump @KamalaHarris Elon, You head a platform promoting communication. Why, when this is your philosophy, do you support Trump? Unable to communicate in a coherent manner. Unable to link ideas and share with people in a meaningful spoken language, English certainly doesn't appear to be his first.

While I don’t think the debate hosts were fair to @realDonaldTrump, @KamalaHarris exceeded most people’s expectations tonight. That said, when it comes to getting things done, not just saying nice-sounding words, I strongly believe that Trump will do a far better job. After all, if Kamala can do great things, why hasn’t she? Biden rarely shows up for work, so she’s basically in charge already. The question comes down to this: do you want current trends to continue for 4 more years or do you want change?

Today is #WorldSuicidePreventionDay - please spend two minutes watching this incredible video from @NorwichCityFC to help spread the message that #YouAreNotAlone

@BBCBreaking Oh, what a shame. Never mind. Wonder what is in the fridge for supper?

Jailed movie producer Harvey Weinstein rushed to hospital from prison for emergency heart surgery, his lawyer tells BBC bbc.in/3MDtVMd

@ChristIsComing5 You telling me that god was driving that car that knocked me down when I was in France in 80s. Can I still make a claim against him, cos he didn't stop?

@Brodie_1988 Sorry, I am sure that it can be started up again. We are too busy laughing at everything else going on at your club ground, apart from Rangers playing there.

@KilmarnockFC Danny was certainly a character and a half.