Asif A.

I'm on call eleven over a three week period -- still no sign of the replacement part for my defective £600 humidifier, which is now a £600 fan instead. Thanks, #Dyson (CS are super polite though, but still).

@AskDyson Had a chat with rep on 12/31 said she ordered replacement parts for brand new machine. Almost a month and no word/confirmation email. Contacted support and they have no record of chat and now have disappeared on me. Been without a device for over a month. Please #help

Same thing here @AskDyson -- an absolute liberty. I have part that's been 'coming into stock' for 3 weeks now and an order I placed yesterday that is now delayed. If you aren't capable of producing and supporting products reliably, save us all some time and just don't make them.

@b_sutherland74 How the fuck do you have 550 followers? Also glad to see you're still alive son, long time.

@thetrufflegirl @LeCreusetUK Hmmm... Whoever? Perhaps I meant whomever... Who knows, I'm confined to grammar purgatory for now I guess! 🤷‍♂️🤦‍♂️😅

@thetrufflegirl @LeCreusetUK I hope they fix this for you... Whoever bought you the gift has good taste, btw!

Just made a rack of lamb and took it out to find my @lecreuset has completely split in half. It was a gift so I don’t have proof of purchase. Help?

@emma_clarke_26 Oh God, the worst thing is -- aside from being incorrect and of course totally sensationalist, you actually work for a respectable paper! Educate yourself before tweeting please. Doesn't the world have enough issues? #Gogglebox

Meanwhile in Wiltshire, Giles and his wife Mary do racist impressions #Gogglebox

@AmazonHelp Thanks for this info - but seems a little odd to tell your customers (who cannot buy an eero elsewhere) that if they want it any sooner than 5 days they should pay more on your alternate site... when you are the seller in control of pricing. Disappointed with Amazon for once.

@asif Hello! We're here to help! If you're able to view the item here: amzn.to/3armoL3, you can see that the discount option applies through the website as a special offer. It will also show you the details of the promotion here: amzn.to/3eLn4ho. We hope this helps! ^TT

.@AmazonHelp @AmazonUK Good evening! I just called your CS to enquire why the Amazon Eero has a £49 price difference between your website and Prime Now. I need the item before Monday. Can you help? This is an Amazon product so should be price matched surely? Thanks & keep well!

.@zizbaz Don't worry.. we've all been there! Dying of laughter btw! twitter.com/zizbaz/status/…

@rorylawless You wish!

HELP ME PLEASE. A MAN NEEDS HIS NUGGS

To the inconsiderate tossers walking around on the tracks at midnight that delayed 1000s of people's #TfL trains by 45 mins, get fucked.

@CadburyUK What do you put in your Whole Nut bars that make them just so scrumptious and addictive?! Will be turning into a Whole Nut soon..

The look of pure disgust on Mary Berry's face as Paul dips his Jaffa Cake in his tea.. Priceless! #GBBO

The sun is out. So I'm wearing shorts + Tod's. And listening to #LighthouseFamily. Cliche, or what? #LondonLife

Outraged to learn that a #McDonalds Big Mac meal with a milkshake costs £4.99 these days?! What happened to £3.29.. Ouff. #OldDays

AKA I fucked up. Well done, Nige. #Brexit #WhatHaveWeDone twitter.com/SkyNews/status…

This made me laff. #MrBean #London

After turning 28, I'm going to call 27 my annus horribilis and chalk it up to a bad experience. That realisation deserves lunch at #zuma ngl