Sir Parpmeister

@paulafr68963440 Hedgehogs take showers? I'd picture them more of a leisurely bath type of creature 😉

Forget that wanker Starmer. My first Hedgehog of the year turned up last night, after a couple of showers. 🦔

@NUFCCentral_ One Swallow does not a summer make... ~ that's what she said.

Eddie Howe🗣️ "I can't thank everyone that sang my name enough, and even the ones that didn't, I can't thank enough. We're the first to hold our hands up & say we've not done well enough in recent weeks, but for the crowd to stay loyal says more about them than anything else" #NUFC #newcastleunited #ToonArmy

@JohnCleese It's a trump mini-troll 😆

I love "Only drive downhill whenever possible"

@Free_ByTheSea Nice chunky thighs. 3 bad decisions there.

Can you spot two bad decisions made by Starmer’s niece as she campaigns?

@Notwokenow After about 10 beers I'm almost a free pisser!

There is something deeply wrong with this woman. And I’m not just talking about the smell.

@Memecastle_Utd We can gift West Ham 3 points...

Pains me to be cheering on Villa this evening but I'll do whatever it takes to help send Spurs down.

If aliens requested a meeting with a sole individual to represent the human race, whom should we send?

@NUFC @harveybarnes97 Wissa the Misser. The chance pisser.

Wrapping up all three points 🏹 @harveybarnes97

@LucyTCWife It's like Adam Ant done wrong!

Fucking pirates 🏴‍☠️

@364690 Very good!

The Balvenie a Collection of Curious Casks

@ianjoyce1968 @TheGriftReport She does look a bit FAS but I think she looks like her father. He must be from far up north.

@TheGriftReport Is the little doom goblin still even relevant? No one cares about anything this retard says

Do you think Greta Thunberg cuts her own hair?

@TheGriftReport Is this one of those "on top pov" things?

@MarcherReborn The child is grown, The dream is gone. I have become, comfortably numb.

‘Spoon me up Baby 🍺🍺🍺

@premierleague @NUFC He is DEVO

Jacob Murphy with the stylish headwear 🧢 @NUFC

@BLAIMGame The real thing is "Stout for non stout lovers"

Nobody in their right mind thinks this stuff tastes like the real thing.

@WASNAPPER We are DEVO 👍🏼

New headgear for stadium tours this morning 👍

@TrevRetro That's a Greek builder, George Georgiou.

Robin Gunningham aka Banksy is now a state sponsored artist - fucking sellout There's no way you could do this in London, without some help higher up

@CraigHope_DM He was f**king lucky.

Pope's kicking has been poor, as it usually is, but he's made two huge saves, and that's why he's in the team.

@YossiBenYakar It wasn't a Banksy then?

British police have reached a new low. 30 officers were sent to arrest a mannequin, because it hurt Muslim feelings. This is not satire. The police have completely lost the plot.

@JohnCleese @charlie_lawson1 Should have scrawled "Banksy" on it...

Yes, the police have completely lost the plot