Wise Old Barn Bitch

Horse showing- because where else can you buy ribbon for $1000 a yard?

@Thepetonly Quality blep!

Cute or not? #CatsOfTwitter #cats #catheaven

@hwinkler4real @JebraFaushay My knees just had to go have a sit down.

@JebraFaushay My knees , just asked them , said NNNNNNNOOOOOOO

If you watched Happy Days, you might remember The Fonz doing this dance. And if you don’t remember, allow me to refresh your memory. I wonder if Henry Winkler can still do it or would the old knees give out?

@alt_w_v_g That was quite a ride! You sir, are a genius. I hope you win. Signed a Canadian, where we mostly don't have this kind of BS

Got a letter from the HOA yesterday Actual letter In an envelope With a stamp In 2026 The letter said my trash can was visible from the street for too long on collection day The fine is $50 I checked my Ring camera The truck came at 7:03am I brought the can in at 7:14am 11 minutes $50 That's $4.55 per minute of trash can visibility My therapist charges $250 an hour That's $4.17 per minute My trash can sitting in a driveway is now more expensive per minute than therapy I looked at the letter again It was signed by the HOA president Her name is Karen Of course it is I know this woman She lives four houses down She still has Christmas lights up It's March I know because I drive past them twice a day And because that's what I do I checked the HOA bylaws All 47 pages Section 4.2 says all exterior fixtures and lighting must be seasonal and removed within 30 days of the applicable holiday Her lights have been up for 97 days I went to the HOA meeting Tuesday night 7pm In a church basement Folding chairs Fruit platter that nobody touched Seven people showed up Four of them were on the board The other three were there to complain I was there to read My wife came with me She didn't want to But she said "if I don't come you'll end up on the news" I brought my legal pad Karen called the meeting to order She talked about community standards She talked about property values She talked about the importance of curb appeal From a woman whose Christmas lights are still blinking in March I raised my hand She said "we'll take questions at the end" I said "it's not a question. It's a point of order." She looked at me I opened my legal pad I said "Section 4.2 requires seasonal decorations to be removed within 30 days. Your Christmas lights have been up for 97 days. You fined me $50 for 11 minutes of trash can visibility on collection day while you've been in violation for over three months." The room was quiet One of the other three complainers said "he's right" The board members looked at each other Karen said "that's a separate issue" I said "it's the same bylaws" She said "we'll review it" I said "I already did. Page 12. Happy to share my highlights." My wife looked at the ceiling Some things never change Karen said "I think we should move on" I said "agreed. I'll move on when the Christmas lights do." Nobody laughed I wasn't joking I paid the $50 Because it's $50 and I'm not going to die on that hill But if the rules apply to me they apply to everyone So I filed a formal complaint about the lights With photos Timestamped Funny how surveillance works both ways The fine for seasonal decoration violations is $75 per occurrence She's been in violation for 67 days past the 30-day grace period I'll let her do the math Or I'll do it for her Because that's what I do Make common sense common again Plz fix. Thx. Sent from my iPhone

@R4ye0fSun @Hmitchell @NASA @SpaceX @User_6788 @Hpgabagool @RandyHeyyyy @InfiniteOrb @DRTheSecond @GenXWolf @OvernightHaulin @khamenei_ir Oh she didn't just fail science. She dragged it into the woods, set fire to it and used the insurance money to buy more glue to sniff.

@Hmitchell @NASA @SpaceX @User_6788 @Hpgabagool @RandyHeyyyy @InfiniteOrb @DRTheSecond @GenXWolf @OvernightHaulin @khamenei_ir Oh, someone failed science in school.

So much packed into one little tweet. Amazing. 😂

@FraidNotz @Hmitchell @NASA @SpaceX @User_6788 @Hpgabagool @RandyHeyyyy @InfiniteOrb @DRTheSecond @GenXWolf @OvernightHaulin @khamenei_ir They'd have to locate it first.

@Hmitchell @NASA @SpaceX @User_6788 @Hpgabagool @RandyHeyyyy @InfiniteOrb @DRTheSecond @GenXWolf @OvernightHaulin @khamenei_ir Scientists might love to pick her brain. Maybe therapists too! 🫣

@DivaQBBQ You are COL aka Cat On Lap. This is a legal status at our house requiring other family members to provide required beverages and sustenance so as to not disturb the recumbent feline. #IDontMakeTheRules

Good Morning

@MalikAlyza So sorry to read this! Big cyber hugs. Kittehs are so special and take such a piece of our hearts when they go.

My baby died today. She was Ten years old. I miss her so much..😭🙏💔

@anxietymsgs I look for a mirror.

@NimraShahzadin 14

@oelma__ Teacher

Be honest..

@ohhanxiety Affirmative

Do you need money?

@Matt_Pinner I'm ordering pizza.

Be honest, what’s your first thought when you see this steak?

@ThrillaRilla369 Hasn't happened.

What age were you when you got your first tattoo?

@femalebodybuil6 Yes, and...?

Can you think of ONE ?.

@Thepetsonly Clouder

A group of cats is called what ? 😻

@MbarkCherguia Ron Purrlman

What would you name him?

@Bunny_ngl The audacity .

name something that a broke mf ALWAYS has?

@lady_valor_07 "New phone, who dis?"

Me: “I am, too.”

@EmilySm43 I'd leave $90

Be honest

@honeymoon250 Toronto

If you’re 100% sure, comment now. 🤔