Colin Fry

@fesshole Patrons in a bar love it when a couple loudly break up, spoiling the ambiance

@ImaMalaca @TraceyLeeHolmes Be Best. Wear Vest.

@TraceyLeeHolmes It’s wrong for me to find this attractive. I’m heading to hell where Bridget will connect with me some day.

Must be the look. #MelaniaTrump #FirstLady #USA #Auspol #BridgetMcKenzie #qanda

@katiebecker16 @news_australian Angus Taylor milked $80M out of Bull… That sounds like the sort of scam they would teach at Oxford.

@news_australian He’s a Rhodes scholar and he revolutionised the dairy industry and his methods of doing so are taught at Oxford University

@Stodgie @ZoeJardiniere That’s a bit mean given I’m only the second person to talk to you on this platform this year. A ‘wise’ person once wrote: “Maybe people just don’t like you or what you stand for.” 😏

@colinfry666 @ZoeJardiniere Wow. Stalker much ya fucking weirdo?

lol I'm about to dip back under 100k followers. This place sucks. And it's run for the profit of the more derranged rich boy loser of all time. No wonder so many people are leaving.

@Stodgie @ZoeJardiniere PMSL It’s even worse than that. Of your followers, only NINETEEN have posted this year. Some of them left a decade ago. Want to talk about who people aren’t interested in? 😂 And that is the limit of my interest in you. Bye!

@colinfry666 @ZoeJardiniere Wow I certainly won’t recover from that scathing attack “Colin”.

@mark_benzie @edfringe And right on cue, here's somebody providing negativity and misinformation 👏

@edfringe How about promoting the Fringe Festival instead of playing politics. Goodbye

We’re leaving X - find out more below. You can follow us on: bsky.app/profile/edfrin… @edfringe" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener">threads.net/@edfringe facebook.com/edfringe instagram.com/edfringe/ @edfringe" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener">tiktok.com/@edfringe

@Stodgie @ZoeJardiniere Says the knuckle dragger with one-thousandth of Zoe’s audience 🤣 🤣

@ZoeJardiniere Maybe people just don’t like you or what you stand for.

@fesshole Live by the grass. Die by the grass.

Dated my dealer for a while, until I found out that he cheated on me. Today, following an "anonymous" tip off recently, he's been arrested for dealing. Wonder who on earth reported him for that. Oh well, no regrets from me.

@fesshole You get over it. My previous girlfriend introduced me to my current girlfriend and the replacement has lasted much longer, even though I have had to reboot a few times.

Just had to order a new laptop. Always feel somewhat guilty about using the dying one to purchase it's replacement.

@fesshole Tell the boss you are in debt, not indentured

My boss criticised how little work I do outside of paid hours in my performance review. So before I go home I schedule send my emails to her at ungodly hours whilst I spend my time at home job hunting

@fesshole “Well, I guess the coffin is going to have to be that big, at least”

Just did the longest, biggest most satisfying shit ever. Wanted to take a photo, I was that proud of it, but all I could think was that if something happened to me it would be the last photo taken on my phone that my relatives would find.

@fesshole As long as you’re sharing only plates, it’s platonic

For the past few years I've been working from home and so is the woman who lives next door. Recently we started having lunch together - we take turns making each other lunch. It never goes further than sharing lunch, but neither of our spouses can ever find out.

Finally a name for the UnitedHealthcare CEO shooting suspect. I guess the record-breaking hashtag will be #IoSonoLuigi

@fesshole What ales your auntie?

I once went out to my local hospital and took a selfie with a patient and sent it to my boss and told her it was my auntie in order to get the day off work to go drinking.

@fesshole Better hem than him

As a short man I've always been pissed off that I have to get trousers shortened. I can't buy off the peg. But I worked with a 6'9" man who is too tall to travel by tube or bus without hunching and just can't fly economy. Turns out being short isn't so painful after all.

@fesshole Does your register start the shift with an anchor instead of a float?

I work in retail. When I get rude cash paying customers, I take great joy in handing out as many 5p, 2p and 1ps as I can in their change and do so with a sickly sweet smile. The look of disappointment when they get £1 worth of loose change stills my petty heart.

@Paddyc1471 @fesshole Thanks

@colinfry666 @fesshole Seriously clever!

Came home pissed once, decided to make pasta. Accidentally used sugar instead of salt when I was boiling it. Only realised the next morning when I had the leftovers for lunch. Best pasta I ever had.

@cazzbeale @fesshole That's left as an exercise for the reader 😏

@colinfry666 @fesshole Are you answering the right fess ? 🤔 😆

You know what marriage milestone no one tells you about it. When a couple who get married after you get divorced. It gives you a wonderful sense of superiority.

@fesshole When your battery has only one bar and you manage to get thrown out of it

Got thrown out of a bar for charging my phone in their wall socket. Would probably have got away with it but I unplugged the DJ. The most excruciating bit was everyone looking at me while the record that was playing slowly came to a stop.