Chris

@MarkMmmac Anyone got Billy Meredith yet?

@AwkwardAndOdd I’ve never seen this part of Edinburgh before; it looks wonderful.

Morning meander, Edinburgh🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

@TracketPacer I'm no latin expert, but I think that says "Thank you, ferocious Tim".

G R A D A T I M. F E R O C I T E R.

@qikipedia Bloody hell…

"Magic Eye" images can be created using text, as well as colourful patterns. Let us know in the comments if you can see it.

@susie_dent @richardosman @VictoriaCoren Thank you for being who you are Susie.

@richardosman @VictoriaCoren Just to add my two cents’ worth: an egg was also once known as a cacklefart.

Look, I’m not going to have a row with my husband on our wedding anniversary of all days. But, BIZARRELY, he had never before heard the expression “It’s not the hen that cackles most that lays the largest egg”. He’s just laughing incredulously and implying I made it up.

@MrBlackFrancis Same account name?

@Ron_Fleasley Twaggered? Did you make that up, because it sounds painful.

@ambergambler_ It’s a good way to use up Parmesan rinds.

We all drop little cubes of cheese in our veggie soup, don’t we?

@Ron_Fleasley @51M0N_5 You’ve given me a lot to not think about.

Snot is stored in the balls.

@DavidMuttering Did they salute but forgot they had a mascot head on?

I am live at a Mascots Doing The Minute's Silence event.

@RossKneeDeep Some big, important items are missing: health care cost, and social security.

Remember this. Lock it in.

@tomgauld @GuardianBooks Twenty minutes earlier: “Excuse me, do you have any books on how to rob a library?”

My cartoon for this week’s @GuardianBooks.

@Scientits I used to get a Christmas card from my local Balti takeaway, bless ‘em.

@AwkwardAndOdd Perfect: you’ll look quite a tome.

Wearing my book dress to go to the bookshop 📚

@Sinnful_Redhead Have you ever seen a happier looking king?

What I'm hearing is the limit is 13 cinnamon buns

@AwkwardAndOdd That’s weird, I’ve never found you to be either… …Oh.

If I like you I’ll make it awkward, and odd… so very, very odd

@YesMissMurphy This tattoo left intentionally blank.

@ScullyBully @Heidiellen51 I think he’s largely outsourced it now.

@robpalkwriter I assumed he was a Pastafarian; how disappointing.