Simon Girthy

@FOPLodge5 @john_mcnesby when a cop's wife sends me nudes it makes my

@bennyjohnson why would anyone listen to a dumb bitch like you, Ben? you've never had one correct political take

Story of the night for Republicans: Redistrict or you won’t have a district. Play to win or you’re gonna lose. Don’t ever betray the base. BONUS Lesson: Bush-Cheney-McCain-Romney Republican Party is DEAD, DEAD, DEAD forever. And it’s NEVER coming back.

@dnp_pnw @DanArndtWrites @JakeSotir that's why conservatives are rewriting the new testament to make Jesus more capitalism-friendly

@DanArndtWrites @JakeSotir yeah, I mean shit like "we should care about others and maybe try to be like Jesus" seems pretty woke

yeah I’m sure an all-female catholic school in indiana that has an 81% acceptance rate is just absolutely crawling with liberals lmao

@motsdemaelys this puritanical shit is so fucking embarrassing

honestly i'm this close to quitting reading for good. every single author i actually love turns out to be problematic or worse. i'm so tired of finding out after i already got attached. feels like i can't enjoy anything anymore without a background check first

@big_edger @tow_cow @LaCienegaBlvdss you people are fucking stupid dude

@tow_cow @LaCienegaBlvdss Gas prices are still cheaper than they were in 2022

Lmao I told y’all. Even if you’ve never bought a ticket for a Spirit flight in your life you’ve benefited from the company’s existence. That’s why a federal judge blocked the merger between them and Jet Blue.

@marcuslmb_ what a dumb question

Everyone who supports abortion how would you feel if you were aborted ? Babies Lives Matter

@iycrtylph American life is equal parts misery and boredom

recently had a lyft driver from Iraq who railed about how "you can't *live* in America" bc everybody has to work nonstop all the time. he said his family in Iraq doesn't believe him when he tells them not to come to America.

@blumrot @latkedelrey she started 1.5 fads, hardly changing the face of the internet or its usage

@latkedelrey She literally changed the way the internet is used and nobody gave her credit its actually fucking crazy the impact she made globally as a teenager

boyfriend unsent a text and i asked him what it said

@Breaking911 fuck her and her family

First Lady Melania Trump blasts Jimmy Kimmel for what she called “hateful and violent rhetoric” following a controversial skit, urging ABC to take action over the host’s conduct.

@NowhereNorthish @Breaking911 @ABC @abcnews lmao shut the fuck up, bot

@Breaking911 @ABC @abcnews she is exactly right. I can’t believe the things he’s saying. Yes, speech is safe, but wow. His words were directly before a man tried to k*ll the president and people attending

@ArizonaRedNeck2 @grok @joshbmessenger @itsdeaann @ginamilan_ lmao this is pathetic

@grok @joshbmessenger @itsdeaann @ginamilan_ Why did you leave this out?

@ElChiv01023 @kiwi_trans you mad because she's cuter than your girlfriend lmao

@kiwi_trans Imagine having to take hormones and still looking like a dude. You ugly mf

@FoxNews you've got the Epstein clients, get to work already

BREAKING: Justice Department announces it's readopting the firing squad as a means of execution

@sunflwrsvsp @BITM116 @_sorrengailll @Apple bro

@daggerandpen @BITM116 @_sorrengailll @Apple Unfortunately not. This is what our volume looks like; we’re also able to like control how loud things are if our ringer is on but it still doesn’t help THAT much and my phone sound is low because my notifications are loud

MY FUCKING ALARMS D I D N O T GO OFF THIS MORNING AND I AM COMPETELY FUCKED. @apple FUCKING FIX THIS. I MIGHT BE FIRED. I WOKE UP AND THE ALARMS WERE SILENTLY GOING OFF.

@OKSooners81 @rawsalerts don't be stupid, "mass casualty" means a lot of injured people and does not imply deaths

@rawsalerts 100% false. No fatalities have been reported. Only minor injuries.

🚨#BREAKING: A mass casualty incident has been declared in and around Vance Air Force Base, extending toward Enid Oklahoma Woodring Regional Airport, following an extremely large and powerful tornado that moved through the area under a Tornado Emergency. Officials report widespread, catastrophic damage, with numerous homes destroyed or heavily damaged, and vehicles either severely damaged or completely swept away. This is an extremely serious and rapidly developing situation. The number of injuries is not known at this time as search and rescue operations continue across the impacted area.

@BITM116 @_sorrengailll @Apple y'all don't have volume sliders for different things? this might be the first time I've felt genuinely bad for iPhone people

@_sorrengailll @Apple Apple needs to redo their entire sound codec. The fact we can’t mute certain things because they’re all connected to the same volume control is insane. I should be able to mute certain things without turning down the volume entirely or vice versa.

@SourceOfSeethe @Brocklesnitch username checks out, bro is so mad

@Brocklesnitch voicing a character on bobs burgers is a worse L

Losing a job voicing a character on bobs burgers aka one of the greatest jobs invented by going to January 6 is one of the biggest Ls genuinely in history

@burntbagel15 @SteveSmith11854 @SeverusChud woke slop lmao you people are fucking losers

@SteveSmith11854 @SeverusChud Seems like there’s a pattern here….. Besides, god of war ragnorak was woke slop. I’ll pass on any future games they put out.

Pragmata Japanese voice actor: Japanese So why is it when a White child is depicted, a grown black woman is playing her for the English dub? They're netflixing voice actors now too lmao.

@xcxxcxcxv @slime_machine @JamesTate121 people also keep memory holing the fact that Kirk got got like a week after publicly criticizing Israel

@slime_machine @JamesTate121 And invited 250 of our representatives, two from each state, to come to Israel for a few days. They called it 50 states/1 Israel. This happened in the same week Charlie Kirk was killed. Didn’t hear about it? Imagine that. Well, the media and news was pretty busy that week

lot of insane shit has happened in the past year but something i still regularly think about is when charlie kirk was shot in the neck animal style and died instantly benjamin netanyahu went on tv and said he didn’t do it

@MattMorseTV absolutely did not happen

In 2011, at 17 years old, I applied for a job at McDonald’s and got rejected because I couldn’t speak Spanish. I was ‘unqualified’ to flip hamburgers in the United States of America because I couldn’t speak Spanish. We need 100,000,000 deportations.

@FBIDirectorKash Jesus Christ why is everyone in this administration such a whiny little bitch

Memo to the fake news - the only time I’ll ever actually be concerned about the hit piece lies you write about me will be when you stop. Keep talking, it means I’m doing exactly what I should be doing. And no amount of BS you write will ever deter this FBI from making America safe again and taking down the criminals you love.