Dr. K.

@ControlledSlide @eigenrobot He must have been a fat nerd. Your typical Sunday softball player could hit a baseball 320 feet down the line.

@eigenrobot I remember reading an article by a sportswriter on a quest to hit a home run in an MLB ballpark. Took him months of training and he barely hit one to the shortest LF porch in baseball.

ezpz offer him a $25M cut to toss me 100 underhand floaters and offer me advice on form since i havent swung a bat since elementary school

@omgsidewalks Yes. But I wouldn’t pick my son.

be honest would you pick your dad again in the next life??

@ingelramdecoucy Would.

Frankly I hope everyone involved in this story dies

@zuvoxyz @gabe3eb @dunbar422 @TreydingStocks @Tekeee Comfort is for pussies.

@gabe3eb @dunbar422 @TreydingStocks @Tekeee Eh it’s one of the few things I’ve really come to value. Makes traveling much much more comfortable

There’s almost no real lifestyle change between making $120k and $350k a year.

@TheJerzWay @AmericanAir Honestly can’t imagine paying $4k for a plane ticket. I could have tens of millions in the bank and wouldn’t do it. A little more leg room? Man up like everyone else and feel cramped for a few hours. What, your pussy hurts?

The @AmericanAir Motel 6 situation, explained: I don't expect airlines to pay for hotels. I paid for the Grand Hyatt myself. But the offer tells you everything about how they see you. $4,000 ticket. Platinum status. Years of loyalty. Their system spit out: Motel 6. Same voucher the guy in 34B got. That's not a policy. That's a message. And the message is: your loyalty means nothing. Your fare means nothing. You're a seat number in a spreadsheet. At least be honest and offer nothing.

@Drewsus4161 @fuzzyfromyt Future major leaguer Emerson Cox!

@fuzzyfromyt It’s funny because my kids name is Emerson Cox lol

There are only two MLB players ever with the first name of Emerson... there's no way 😂

@fuzzyfromyt I hear Hancock throws a nasty palmball

@DrAlmarielao There is no fixing this one.

A 40-year-old woman posts a video venting about dating… She says a 60-year-old man invited her to dinner at Cheesecake Factory, but she turned it down. Instead, she told him to take her to a robot show; something fun, different, “worth getting dressed up for.” After that? Silence. He disappeared from the app. She shrugs it off, saying she’s “high maintenance,” doesn’t really like men, and just wants them to take her out so she can enjoy herself; no overthinking, no emotional investment. In her words, she has “bigger things to think about… like AI and the future of the world.” There’s confidence… and then there’s treating people like entertainment. Wanting fun is fair, but expecting someone to play along while admitting you don’t even like them? That’s a different dynamic altogether. Is she just being honest about what she wants; or is this a mindset that guarantees she’ll keep getting ghosted?

@Outdoctrination New contraception technique has dropped!

Polyester underwear decimates male fertility & sperm in study. After 6 months of wearing a polyester sling, all men had ZERO sperm. At the beginning of the study: • 64.3% of men had sperm count 41–60 million/ml • 35.7% of men had sperm count >60 million/ml • 0% had sperm count below 40 million/ml After 3 months: • 28.6% had near-zero sperm count (0–1 million/ml) • 71.4% had low sperm count (2–10 million/ml) • 0% were above 10 million/ml After 6 months: • 100% of men had 0 sperm (azoospermia) • 0% had any detectable sperm So basically, they went from normal → heavily suppressed by 3 months → completely wiped out by 6 months.

@jarvis_best All of us are ‘big’ in Japan!

Can I get some Japanese followers please? I’d love to be big in Japan.

@RogerJStoneJr Do they ask you about tramp stamps?

As an Italian American I'm perplexed as to why people would ask Dave Portnoy about Pizza. People don't ask me about bagels.

@3YearLetterman Notaries are entrusted with the authority to fix women like that.

I’m hopelessly in love. And before you try to tell me this is fake, I’ve already notarized this picture and headline

@RichardHanania Called it

“Trump couldn’t contain his surprise and laughed aloud when he was briefed on the intel, according to sources. Others in the room also found it ‘hilarious’ and joined the president’s reaction, while one senior intelligence official ‘has not stopped laughing about it for days,’ said one person familiar with the briefing” Seems like we have very serious people in charge.

@nypost Called it.

Trump briefed that Iran's new supreme leader Mojtaba Khamenei is probably gay - and president has priceless reaction trib.al/MugVpH6

@AssyrianAdvisor @NeilChamaki Can Assyrian advisors advise me on literally the stupidest way to lose my law license and end up on a watchlist simultaneously??

Assyrian Advisors Professional Summit — Neil Chamaki (Assyrian Advisors, Founder), Alvina Antar (Chief Digital Officer, F5), Rani Johnson (Chief Information Officer, Workday), Eric Tan (Chief Information Officer, Flock Safety), Sean Stenstrom (Deputy General Counsel, TFH)

@DailyMail Lol.. he blamed his delay getting married and impregnating his wife on impotency? He’s gay!

Favorite for Supreme Leader of Iran spent months being 'treated for impotency' in private UK hospitals, US intelligence reveals trib.al/DdcNZ6E

@nypost Give my regard to Jared Fogle.

Multimillionaire 'Squatty Potty' creator arrested in Utah for buying child pornography trib.al/dBL9vhT

@secondzeit I prefer not to be knocked up by her.

The kind of jobs we lose to technology

@mikealfred @brandontseng2 Can always raw dog it! 😂

@brandontseng2 Disagree. You give back a lot with the insane cost of property insurance if you can get it at all in some areas.

Florida is becoming the most compelling state in the USA. 0% income tax rate; soon to be 0% property taxes, runs a budget surplus; has $15B in reserves. It will become the fastest growing state in the next year. States should take note of what is working there and try to emulate.

@femaleweezerfan Hey Hey Hey!

epstein muffins review: disclaimer i am staunchly against jeffrey epstein and all of his crimes. Now on to the muffins: Firstly what you’ll notice about the recipe is that it yields an immense amount of batter. It calls for 7 cups of almond flour alone along with multiple more cups of bran, 4 eggs, and 4 cups of milk. I halved the recipe thinking that would suitably downsize it for my lone muffin tin but I still had quite a bit of extra and so i made a weird large cookie/scone of the excess batter that i baked alongside the muffins. the recipe had very little detail beyond the hyper specific ingredient list which is what drew me to it in the first place. i followed standard baking procedure of mixing dry ingredients first followed by wet. there was way more volume of dry ingredients than wet and the batter was a bit dry but i figured that this recipe largely relied on the raisins doing some of the heavy lifting in terms of retaining moisture, which they do pretty successfully. i was also apprehensive about the low sugar content (only a half cup of brown sugar for the entire batch) but again this was curbed by the presence of the raisins (I used california golden raisins which are especially sweet and moist). I topped them with chopped walnuts and a pecan. In terms of the taste of the muffin itself it’s a fairly standard bran muffin, maybe slightly more dry than one you would get premade at the store and less sweet. I like bran muffins to begin with though so i’m not the harshest critic. it tastes really healthy like one of the baked goods from erewhon. I ate one and now I feel insanely full. this is a solid recipe for orthorexics and is already showing promising digestive results. Overall rating 8/10