Groindexter

@fanny_omaha Get busy Martha Stewart Living or get busy Martha Stewart Dying.

@cosmicjester I can't wait to see Willy Wonka but boring

I wonder why cinemas are dying then I see another preview for ‘brands: the movie’ and maybe they deserve to die

@themarinadove I will provide material support to the swolecialists when they emerge

let’s have some new exciting discourse like should socialists inject anabolic steroids to beat the fascists

@facetedcarapace I love fish but I would never

Every single place I have ever worked has had at least one person regularly trying to microwave fish in the break room. How is there always one Fish Coworker? are any of you the fish coworker? why are you doing this to the rest of us

@suchnerve @ineedmorearms One of my friends accidentally kidnapped a kid one time and they were chiller than this kid (The kid got into his car thinking it was her parents' car and he didn't notice someone was in the back until he was driving away)

Remember when I said “suburb dwellers will be blatantly terrified of the world and then say things like “i refuse to live in fear” well sweetcheeks surveilling your little property like it’s a besieged military compound tells us you already do” twitter.com/suchnerve/stat…

What if Robotnik had the Doofenshmirtz thing where he can't recognize an animal if they aren't wearing a specific article of clothing

@RaptorBreath Who Frame Mogged Roger Rabbit?

roger rabbit will chop your ass up

@zagreus92 @DiodLeAnarchist @anarchoboognish Ah, thank you

@groindexter @DiodLeAnarchist @anarchoboognish I think they meant they do block you to remove you, then unblock you afterwards

Hate it when like long time mutuals just block me like wtf did I do

@DiodLeAnarchist @anarchoboognish How do you remove someone as a follower besides blocking them?

@anarchoboognish It's worse when they just softly unfollow and remove you as a follower I'd rather be blocked.

@patriach2051 Gimme libety or gimme (twink) death

Spotted.

A Black man, Gerald "Jerry" Lawson, invented the first video game console with interchangeable game cartridges. Gamers owe him a debt of gratitude.

@DutchmenR4 @daniellismore Like moths to a flame They love to out themselves

@daniellismore I love that you can go through all these replies and find the Nazis so easily

This

@RioSlade @KatanaSpeaks 100 patients per day, even if she worked every waking hour of the day, would mean less than ten minutes per patient

My primary care physician was laid off. She was told that she was spending too much time with her patients. They wanted her to see 100+ patients daily. She maxed out at 25. She was the best doctor I've ever had.

@scrumble_eggs This sounds like the setup to a joke about a factory that makes decoy deer

I need to find a good side gig for making some extra bucks.

@scrumble_eggs I sure am

You’re laughing. Dom Lucre has to actually get a real job and you’re laughing.

@Mark_Cam_3 I minored in Urine Elimination Technology

Feel kinda bad for the urine. Couldn’t we just hurt it a little?

@cutiegurlk8 The Yoda bone

bone found in yard what is it

@FordFischer Jesus Christ drive a car through the gate or something wtf is this shit

Anti-ICE protesters use plastic handcuffs to do a four-legged race outside Broadview ICE facility. Each pair was connected by the ankles, with an additional dildo to hold between the two. The winning team was awarded a dildo trophy.

@ALgoooooTime @lilydsmith Wasn't sure!

@groindexter @lilydsmith Didn’t say I didn’t understand it. Thanks though

failed an open note test

@ALgoooooTime @lilydsmith You kill a thing and get food without hurting animals

@groindexter @lilydsmith Weird