internet sophi 👾

🔥🚨BREAKING: Florida Governor candidate James Fishback’s attorney just quit due to James refusing to pay him the $150,000 he owes after he lost his arbitration fight.

The Afroman Trial. -Cops raid Afromans house for bullshit reasons. -Steal money, break his door, fuck his house up. -No criminality found whatsoever, no charges at all pressed on Afroman. -Afroman spends the next 3 years making songs that make fun of all the officers involved by name, even using footage of the raid from his own CCTV cameras. -Songs had titles like "Randy Walters is a son of a bitch" and "Lick Em Low Lisa" accusing one of the officers of being a lesbian and sleeping with the other officers wives. -During the raid one officer looked like he was about to eat some lemon pound cake sitting on Afromans counter, Afroman made a whole album calling the officer fat. -The cops get mad and file a lawsuit for defamation. -Afroman turns up to court in a whole American flag suit. -Officers performatively mald and cry while listening to the songs really trying to oversell how badly the songs upset them. -One officer was suing because Afroman made a whole song about him saying he was fucking the officers wife. When the officer was asked if Afroman was really fucking his wife, he said "I don't know". Nuking his own case and establishing that there is a non-zero chance that Afroman might actually be fucking his wife. -As his only witness for the trial, Afroman brought a deputies EX FUCKING WIFE. -The jury ruled completely in favour of Afroman. This entire thing has been a great win for free speech and absolutely fucking hilarious.

BREAKING: Bitcoin is now projected to crash below $45,000 by the end of this year. 51% chance.

Under President Trump’s leadership, the United States is working in partnership with the Government of Venezuela to reopen and restore Venezuela’s energy sector. Today, the Treasury Department’s Office of Foreign Assets Control issued a license broadly authorizing established U.S. entities to engage in many types of transactions with Venezuela’s state-owned oil company, Petróleos de Venezuela, S.A. (PdVSA), and its subsidiaries. This license will benefit both the United States and Venezuela, while supporting the global energy market by increasing the supply of available oil. It will also help incentivize new investment in Venezuela’s energy sector.

BREAKING: The Miami Heat have announced that Kaseya Center is now known as Kia Center South, effective immediately