JC Tarp

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JC Tarp

JC Tarp

@jctwritesstuff

Author. Screenwriter. Editor. Bandito. I drink a lot. https://t.co/I8icG668YO

Katılım Mayıs 2015
5.6K Takip Edilen22.6K Takipçiler
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JC Tarp
JC Tarp@jctwritesstuff·
Running shoes? No, I don't run. These are my cake gettin' shoes.
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Anthony McHats
Anthony McHats@TheHatStore·
[my son watching me shave] him: dad who taught you how to do that me: [sliding razor up right leg] your grandmother
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fishious
fishious@fishquichee·
I think the elephant adds a nice touch to the room
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JC Tarp
JC Tarp@jctwritesstuff·
@RyansTrading_ You did not! Even in between track meets lol. Big things ahead for you!
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Not Today Eric
Not Today Eric@NotTodayEric·
When I say I’m shredded, I mean like cheese.
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⚭
⚭@lekimgym·
You need to touch saltwater sometimes not always grass.
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love drops
love drops@lovedropx·
BILF (book I'd like to finish)
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Weapon 𝕏
Weapon 𝕏@HellRaz0r1776·
An army of lesbians is called a Militia Etheridge
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Skurt Vonnegut
Skurt Vonnegut@ThisLocalHater·
[Sarah McLachlan plays over a montage of me trying to parallel park]
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DaddyJew
DaddyJew@DaddyJew·
threw my back out pumping up the jam
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j e a n
j e a n@jeanisalunatic·
Me as a 911 operator: they did WHAT? that’s crazy.
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Papii🥤
Papii🥤@ammalusty·
When I was a tiny baby a witch put a curse on me to eat chips.
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tt✮⋆
tt✮⋆@Bluebirdeyessss·
"you posted this pacifically for me" atlantically, no i didn't.
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chi
chi@ChiThukral·
i’m going to miss my emotional support astronauts
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soup🍓
soup🍓@thrluv·
"she'd want you to move on" no, he better name a moon crater after me
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the meji.
the meji.@mejitwo·
Petition to change "et al." to "and gang" in academia
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brent
brent@murrman5·
[me telling my story how I survived a plane crash and lived on a deserted island for a year] it was crazy [friend who once got a text from me where I accidentally called the grinch the grink] was the grink there?
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dustin Couch
dustin Couch@Dustinkcouch·
nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early astronaut: moon's haunted nasa employee: what? astronaut: *loading a pistol and getting back on the rocket-ship* moon's haunted
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Keşfet

@RyansTrading_ @elonmusk @BarackObama @taylorswift13 @cristiano @BillGates @NASA @nikifrancismediavine