Jonathan Cash

@ClarksonsFarm1 Umm…this post brought to you by ticks.

Thoughts on this?🤔

@OrwellNGoode Here’s the real secret. Find a partner in life (or crime, no judgement), set smart goals with that person, pursue them diligently together, and IGNORE THE DAMN INTERNET!

@BillyM2k Adulthood

what game is this?

@SpillTheMemes And if you were raised by one then you probably watched Halloween and Friday the 13th movies way too young.

😂

@BuzzPatterson No, no we can’t and for the same reason we can’t fathom how fast an Olympic sprinter is. There are certain people who have moved so far beyond the norm that we have to rationalize it back down to something we can comprehend.

This is hard, kids. Real hard. Can you appreciate the touch on the controls necessary to be this smooth, this close?

@raulcontev Moms everywhere when they realize they can put more than one life jacket on their kids.

La mujer que se lanzó al agua con 18 chalecos salvavidas comprobó algo muy interesante.

@SketchesbyBoze Well I feel we’re on the verge of a possibly apocalyptic societal shift and usually when the world loses its mind the writing and music usually gets better. Silver linings and whatnot.

Today’s authors aren’t problematic enough. Mary Shelley fought with Leigh Hunt for possession of her late husband’s disembodied heart. Caroline Lamb stabbed herself with a broken wine glass & then mailed a lock of her pubic hair to Byron. Rufus Griswold dug up his wife’s body and spent 30 hours kissing it. Living writers are dull by comparison.

@QuoteJung Harry Potter. Nothing against the book I’m just not having that conversation for the rest of my life.

@sariivct @AMAZlNGNATURE

@jonathanlcash @AMAZlNGNATURE Bruh, lay off the purple juice.

The world’s rarest whale, the Spade-toothed whale, has never been seen alive.

@WholesomeMeme Man finds a stick like that and he’s obviously the chosen one. Time to quest!

@DavidAFrench They say George Patton had to leave to vomit the first time he entered one.

This scene was gutting. I cannot begin to imagine what it would have been like to discover these atrocities in real time. It would change you forever.

@VeryBrexitProbs One thing you gotta understand about Americans is that we’re never truly humbled. We fall flat, get right back up, and push forward until we’ve achieved justification for our initial arrogance.

Americans love banging on about the War of Independence. They’re quieter on the War of 1812. Here’s why. In 1812, America declared war on Britain. The plan was to march into Canada and annex it. Thomas Jefferson said it would be “a mere matter of marching.” It wasn’t. The Canadians sent them packing. Two years later, the British sailed up the Potomac. American forces collapsed at Bladensburg in what’s still called “the Bladensburg Races” because of how fast they ran. President Madison had already fled to Maryland. The British walked into Washington unopposed. They sat down in the White House, ate the dinner Dolley Madison had laid out for forty guests, used the President’s silver, then set fire to the building. Then they burned the Capitol, the Treasury and the Navy Yard. A freak thunderstorm put the fires out the next day. The British left when they were ready. It’s still the only time a foreign army has captured the US capital. You can see why it doesn’t come up much.

@HQNewsNow Quick, leave the dinner and grab Washington’s portrait!

There are currently Redcoats on the White House lawn to welcome the King of England

Young men (and women) should be reading myth, fairy-tales & folklore: Homer, Dante, Le Morte d’Arthur, the Gawain Poet. The Lang Fairy Books. The Thousand & One Nights. The Sagas. The Ramayana. You need to stuff your head with ballads, epics, poems. You need to become a poem.

@joshcarlosjosh Please tell Nicolas Cage that Peter Jackson is the last surviving member of the Bourgeoisie and Bones Society so he hid the secret to their ancient treasure in the unused LORT film. Also only the combined nerdy of its fan base can unlock the secret so he must release it.

I'm putting together a team...a Fellowship, if you will.

@JamesLucasIT Because we ceased to be in awe of the divine.

Why did humanity stop building wonders?

@WeirdMedieval Norman abstinence campaigns were wild.

virgin mary punching the devil, england, 13th century

@JonahDispatch @SeanTrende One of my all time favorite traveling experiences was driving to Colorado Springs and watching Pike’s Peak rise up from a lone speck on the horizon to full blown Rocky Mountains. Of course I had to endure hours of driving through empty, brain numbingly monotonous prairie first.

@SeanTrende I’ve done it more than once. The flatness of Eastern Colorado feels like false advertising.

When I was clerking I did this drive multiple times. It is awesome and beautiful.

@OrwellNGoode Ummmm, I’ve seen pictures of Lukashenko and the Turkish watermelon salesman is definitely his…