Mark Williams

@LastPassHelp @LastPass @LastPassStatus Your login page is 404ing and I have no idea what my passwords are! HELP!

@Toyota huge spring popped out of my driver's side seat belt buckle on my 2015 Toyota Tacoma Pre-Runner on Friday. No service bulletin or recall. $250 for parts and labor at my local Marietta, GA Toyota Dealership. Going to guess others have the same issue too. Not cool.

@chesscom L is for short range...

If chess pieces had catchphrases, what would the knight say?

@Sam_Copeland Start'em early

white is very close to getting checkmated. can you turn the tables? 🤨

@Sam_Copeland Queen to H5

@DinaBelenkaya Caro..Dog trainers agree that a one- or two-syllable name is best.

What is a cool name for a chess player’s dog? I like Blunder

@carlquintanilla They don't make em' like they use to... Happy Birthday Will Ferrell!! @nbcsnl

Will Ferrell turns 55 today. After “More Cowbell” aired on SNL in 2000, he said, Christopher Walken couldn’t escape cowbells. Folks would ring them at Walken’s B'way shows. Waiters would ask if he “wanted more cowbell.” “I think he was really mad at me.”

When this thing ends, we should do a big bold SEO conference in Kyiv.

@etrade @WSJ It's damn 8:30 on a Tuesday! Chats down & phones are on hold for 30 mins + & it's my $$$-making time! This must be the new "norm". @normmacdonald #yourkillingmesmalls #RIPNorm

@EWErickson She showed you, Missy. #dramaqueen

@Juria316 @ofctimallen

@ofctimallen Hmm, that moment when you're not sure if the garage is owned by Tim Allen, Vin Disel, or Jigsaw.

I so admire all of you who can talk, listen and better yet, get stuff done.

tell me you’re a marketer without telling me you’re a marketer.

@ofctimallen Man grunt, grunt, grunt

Progression to my higher self requires a constant process of getting out of my own way. Laughed as I read this quote. “You can’t save your ass and your face as the same time.”

@EWErickson My wife ommitted that last requirement in our oath. Damn, I didn't even notice, lol.

@NeverTrumpTexan @EWErickson Just learned something new...

@EWErickson Wait until you find out what the Nazi term "Lugenpresse" means....

@FBI We're also looking for Kevin James.

Can you help the #FBI identify the man in this photo? He allegedly participated in the violence at the U.S. Capitol on January 6. If you have a tip, call 1-800-225-5324, or visit tips.fbi.gov. Remember to mention photo 476 in your tip.

@tedcruz @AOC @tedcruz didn't you help incite a riot, that if successful, @AOC would have missed this year's birthday bash? Real rich, real rich.

Happy birthday to @AOC 🎂🎉🎂🎉 Although we disagree on many issues, we are both blessed to live in the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave. 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

@EWErickson He's too cranky, 😆

@JimGaffigan HSS: Homer Simpson Syndrome

There should be a name for the short period of enjoyment you experience after you eat something unhealthy but right before you feel nauseous and spin into a pool of regret. Suggestions?