Mike Gun

@JShijiu @Kai_Wong_CN Didn’t stop em in HK. Should’ve just smashed the ticket barriers, then it’s free!

@howie_hua Roman numerals, why??

Which math topic is only taught because the standards say to teach it but in reality we'd all be fine if it disappears?

@perteng1 @SoVeryBritish @LouiseMensch Quite splendid

@SoVeryBritish @LouiseMensch That; "good" is not really good, "very good" is ok, and e.g. "Splendid" is good....,Do you have an adjective for "really very good"?

@Adeolale @Morbidful That man has balls of steel

In 1989, in the small village of Miyakoji, Japan, primary school teacher Yumi Tanaka made a peculiar discovery as she looked into the toilet bowl – a floating black shoe. Investigating further, she found a man's body in the sewer tank outside. The body was removed and found to be in an unusual position, somehow the man managed to squeeze through the 14" diameter septic opening. It was later determined that he had entered the waste tank, likely attempting to peer up the toilet when women were using it. After meticulous cleaning, the body was identified as 26-year-old Naoyuki Kanno. He likely passed away from hypothermia.

@thinking_panda Not heard this before … nice!

If China magically became a "democracy" overnight, we'd probably vote to invade Taiwan by mid next morning. Democracy means will of the people, not will of the US. The CPC, the biggest threat to peace you thought, is actually the true peace maintainer.🤔 bloomberg.com/opinion/featur…

@SoVeryBritish I’m an influencer

What phrase would you be happy never to hear again?

@fionerss He’s a keeper

@MarkKimono @JuliaHB1 I’m moving out of East Yorkshire and parking myself in Hainaut. Baby steps

Happy Voting For Brexit Day, everyone! * Seven years ago today we voted to leave the EU and have a democratically accountable government we can hold to account. * And especially the #FBPE 🇪🇺#CitizenOfTheWorld #Rejoin gang. You've given us a lot of laughs over the years. 🥂

@SoVeryBritish Try and buy a fan only to find every shop is sold out.

What’s something only Brits do when the sun comes out?

@howie_hua 2x9x4.5=2x4.5x9=9x9=81

Its Mental Math Monday. How would you mentally calculate the total?

@cliffjpereira @Transit_Jam I can’t get taxis from the airport anymore. The cabs feel old and rickety and the drivers hurtle along at breakneck speed often with 3 mobiles on the dashboard. AirPort Express then get a cab seems much safer!

@Transit_Jam There is some crazy speeding and driving on Hong Kong's roads at the moment and seems to be no policing of it. Last Monday nights taxi from the airport was crazy fast and honestly terrifying.

@fesshole This is strangely romantic

Sometimes, when my girlfriend is wanting sex on a nighttime, I have to pretend I'm feeling ill and cry off. This isn't because I find her undesirable - it's because I've been thinking about her in the day and already had 3 wanks at work to her, and have nothing left to give.

Illness is neither an indulgence for which people have to pay Nor an offence for which they should be penalised But a misfortune, the cost of which should be shared by the community. Please RT if you agree

@fesshole Truly someone who is in control of their own destiny.

First time my girlfriend and I did anal I discovered 2 nuggets on the floor after. Threw them out the window without her noticing. Kept it quiet as otherwise it would've been the last time too.

@NoContextBrits I used to teach in London and we took some secondary kids to Wales on camp. They saw their first cow and said “What the f&*k is that sir?” I told them it was a cow and that’s where burgers and milk come from. They were mortified and swore they’d never touch beef again.

When a person of culture meets a populist dog whistler, the outcome is sublime. The late great Jonathan Miller here, making the argument that Stuart Rose made against Braverman the other day, just decades earlier. It’s all about leadership.

Admit you’re old. Retweet if you know what this is…

The craziest thing just happened at dinner. I’m at a ramen shop owned by Thai people in Oakland dressed as power rangers, when a woman comes rushing in saying she wasn’t safe—and a man came running in after her and puts her in a chokehold.

The Tripitaka Koreana - carved on 81258 woodblocks in the 13th century - is the most successful large data transfer over time yet achieved by humankind. 52 million characters of information, transmitted over nearly 8 centuries with zero data loss - an unequalled achievement. 1/