Mike Ward

Dr John Hammond in Jurassic Park should have been played by Al Pacino. Change my mind.

Just realised this embeds very poorly on the Twitter app. If you're interested it's "Moyesaldinho" at about 1:44:40 on the YouTube version of this week's Monday Night Club.

@FootballCliches a great 'if his name was...' here on the Monday Night Club (link will take you straight to the line in question...) youtube.com/live/umXj1Nsn2…

@OwlsPolitics @Dykeocletian Yes.

@Dykeocletian Was Bear Grylls at the Virgin birth?!

Perplexed by this version of the Nativity as retold by Bear Grylls I found in waterstones. Says on the back that there's "more evidence for this story than that Julius Caesar existed" which I don't think is true at all. Who is this for!?

@YoniAstro I can do it.

it is impossible to become latvian

@Msamalam 69 million you say? They must be in Nice.

I actually don’t understand how France has 69 million people. Where are they? 5 largest cities: Paris 2 million Marseille 0.8MM Lyon 0.5MM Toulouse 0.5Mm Nice 0.3MM Where are they all hiding? In the countryside? The “big” cities are so tiny.

@jnr1560 @dxctr_m4ster I think you’re replying to a tweet that says “#SNLUK would be so much better suited to Channel 4 and also it should be a different show and Josh Widdicombe should be in it.”

@dxctr_m4ster Nah it’s better away from Channel 4. What made it good tonight was a fresh cast and therefore input. If you end up with bland comedic acts like Josh Widdicombe etc seeping into it, it becomes like the rest of current uk tv comedy scene… predictable and uninteresting.

#SNLUK would be so much better suited to Channel 4 yk…

@jeeorgy @goattoself I think the second and third panels make it pretty clear that it’s the latter.

@goattoself Debating whether he poured the oil to tell this joke or telling this joke inspired him to cause more accidents to tell the same joke.

@oldfriend99 @ImKingGinger Woah hey leave him alone. Now let me just put my glasses on and re-read his tweet. Okay yeah never mind carry on.

@ImKingGinger Fuckin idiot

Every creative person I know that has embraced AI as a tool for their art has produced more content this month than all of last year. A true creative individual sees AI and feels completely empowered. They feel like the entire world has opened up to them. But a lot of self professed creative people, who have been grifting as creatives for decades, are about to be exposed as frauds who and pretenders who only know how to work within the politics of the current system. They will sit down before the greatest tool for creativity the world has ever known and not have a single idea how to use it or what story to tell. Pay attention to what is happening and who rejects the gift, and who embraces it.

@WaveLord141 @MoroseJerk He tragically shit himself.

@MoroseJerk What happened to him?

I genuinely thought they meant he shit himself what the fuck is wrong with me

@FootballCliches Listen, fair play.

Right, there were only so many 1am DMs asking for a Level 5 I could take, so... we're very excited to launch the HAPPY HUNTING GROUNDS daily game... Guess the Premier League scorer at a Premier League away ground and see how far you get! Play it here ⬇️ games.footballcliches.com

In 1997, I was a precocious 12yo “movie lover” who loved “Fargo.” The night of the academy awards, I choked back bitter tears when it lost to “The English Patient.” How could the superior film have lost! Many of you are grownups, and still have this personality. Grow up.

@TheDronetek @nbcsnl Okay, bye then.

@mikeward85 @nbcsnl

Tucker Carlson stops by the desk to talk Oscar nominations

@TheDronetek @nbcsnl You asked if they ever made fun of themselves and I was just letting you know that yes they do.

@mikeward85 @nbcsnl Its low-key (but not really) promotion of their ideology, not self mockery. You even admit they did the sketch as a struggle session for not adhering enough to their ideological rules.

@TheDronetek @nbcsnl SNL was being criticised at the time for not having any black women in the cast, this sketch is acknowledging that and making fun of it.

@mikeward85 @nbcsnl In what way? What are they mocking?

@TheDronetek @nbcsnl No, they’re mocking themselves, which is one of the things you asked for an example of.

@mikeward85 @nbcsnl They're not mocking Obama or his ideology at all in this skit. Did you even watch it?

@ThatWeekInSNL Am I being impractically joked upon?!

I’m glad Jeremy’s Tucker is getting traction but this was definitely my favorite of the night. Inventively shot, great performances, a bunch of hilarious lines and a nice slice of life bent to it all. Truly a renaissance year for Jane.

@TheDronetek @nbcsnl youtu.be/0tgQlcJ0QYg?si…

@mikeward85 @nbcsnl When? One example?

@NoahGarfinkel @Chicago_Daisy Wow what are the chances!

@Chicago_Daisy Well Daisy this is in fact awkward.

@EA_guitar @TerribleMaps They missed New Zealand off as well!

@TerribleMaps You forgot to mark Brazil — terrible map

Difficulty of understanding Spanish accents