not a protein analysis system

This is now my most popular tweet. Very on brand that it’s about tiles.

Old joke I tell every now and then: A Mexican goes to Spain, accosts the first Spaniard he sees, and lays into him: “I demand an apology, sir - your ancestors pillaged my country!” The Spaniard blinks. “I’m afraid you’re mistaken. Your ancestors did that. Mine stayed home.”

My children are not on the autism spectrum because I took Tylenol while pregnant. They’re on the autism spectrum because I, a person who will wear only one type of shoe and can’t eat food that is “too potato-y,” had babies with a man who has an encyclopedic knowledge of European aristocracy but a limited ability to process social cues.

@nearcyan Credit Card points are an uncomfortable subject for bleeding heart types because it's a direct wealth transfer from the dumb to the smart. And that's the Federal Reserve saying so.

“Injected race” is code for was black and a politician.

My own kids, I’m vague. The guys in the store - they’re dudes dressed up in costumes. Is there a real Santa? Well, I’ve never met him, but there might be. That present? Not sure who it’s from.

Wild threads about whether or not you should say Santa is a lie. I will say I made a joke about Santa with a 17 year old who turned out to still believe and I truly don’t think I was wrong to assume they knew.

Also suggests that something went very wrong in Alaska if this many European leaders are coming to Washington on short notice.

I laughed

For a change of pace, here's a joke from Communist Poland. Wlodek wants to deposit his money, saved carefully in a mattress, to the bank. He walks in. Wlodek: "I want to make sure my 50 zlotys are safe. What happens if someone robs the bank?" Banker: "No worries. The main branch in Warsaw will cover the loss." Wlodek: "But what if our whole bank, branches & all, goes bust? I know this can happen." Banker: "No worries. The Polish Central Bank guarantees us." Wlodek: "But what if the Polish Central Bank also goes bust?" Banker: "It's unlikely, but in that case our treaty with the Soviet Union means THEY would cover the losses." Wlodek: "Yes, but what if the Soviet Union itself goes bust?" Banker : "Look, wouldn't that be WORTH 50 zlotys?"

It's so weird that the graph for fertility v. female education and the graph for fertility v. male education look basically the same but you have probably only seen one on here.

People older than 45 bought 69% of all homes sold last year Even more wild: People 80-96 years old bought more homes than people 18-27 years old 😳

“I just wish the grandkids lived closer” she thought as she hung up the phone with her daughter, before getting to work on mobilizing the neighborhood against yet another set of greedy developer-driven zoning changes for smaller lots, reduced setbacks & weird pocket neighborhoods that cause too much traffic, don’t meet the character of the area, and have streets too small for emergency response according to her friend Bill who used to work for the county.

Those skyscrapers formed when two residential plates collided

I have 20 cousins My kids have 6.

My Oxford comma: It's "home in" not "hone in." "Home in" means to focus on, to aim at. Like a homing pigeon. "Hone" means to sharpen, like an axe or an idea. You can "home in on a strategy," or "hone a strategy," but you can't "hone in on a strategy."

Must be fascinating doing security at Roblox, your user base is chaotic: children forget passwords, click on every link, commit card fraud against their parents, download malware, are generally vulnerable, etc. Many SOC assumptions no longer hold.

Another fascinating challenge is detecting bots. As it turns out, in MMOs, some players are so soullessly monotonous that they exhibit exact bot behavior, including playing for abnormally long hours, repeating the same thing over and over, behaving predictably… makes you think

Horrific that we built an entire economy on hypertext and the best way to distribute a canonical text block is as a bitmap.

The discourse on Ozempic's general suppression of urges and impulsive behavior beyond overeating (gambling, nail-biting, use of addictive substances, etc.) is super interesting I think we're fundamentally unsettled by the idea that we could medically remediate sin