the keto man

@faustasstanis @cal_gif all the idiots on here thinking that this means too many muslims instead of the real problem which is white ppl naming their kids Drexxyl

@cal_gif I think the only thing you can get outta that, is that muslims need to lock in and think of some new names

people are forgetting the ancient texts

@rocco_botte you're right they should just repeat all of the jokes from the last one, because I remember those jokes

I know there’s more serious things going on in the world but: MASSIVE cop-out not calling it “The Search For More Money.” This cute video they made doesn’t undo that. They had a gag that could have had a 40 YEAR payoff and they blew it!!!

@Integrity_Freak @SAMOYEDCORE you just created one million straits of hormuz

Iran didn't count on our secret weapon: the free market. Right now, millions of Strait startups are working around the clock to completely change the way we think about narrow waterways.

@sixinchbeys you know how for each person Roger has one persona they can't see through? headcanon this is Don Draper's

genuinely thought this was about american dad until i read the replies

@TrueAnonPod @JackPosobiec sorry for the delay but 11:05 right now

@JackPosobiec What is it time for. I don’t understand but would like to learn

Bolsheviks want to kill us all. They killed Charlie. They’ve tried to kill Trump multiple times. Either you understand what time it is or you don’t

@KyleTrainEmoji @IHateNYT Dems don't understand why you would protest against somebody who might be winnable bc their entire strategy is courting voters who are unwinnable

Not a big mystery. The students assumed that Biden would be more likely to listen. He crushed them instead.

@piecesreeces_ @Aidon1706 boss makes a dollar / and he's a dime / that's why I crank it on company time

@Aidon1706 there are many forms of time theft, some are more fun than others

there's one space here that's even a little out there, who made this lmao

@pulkit_mittal_ from what I've learned about mythos I think SOTA solution is to tell the interviewer I know he's cheating on his wife

Google Interviewer: You’re given a single CSV file with 100M rows. You need to reliably persist all of it into a PostgreSQL table by tonight or you’re dead. How would you approach the problem.

@_OKJ__ @Pir8teAngel ppl often observe (rightly) that Kerbal Space Program gives you a really good intuition for orbital mechanics. Less appreciated is how it gives you an intuition for why slamming into the atmosphere is a great way to do reentry

@Pir8teAngel lol what alternatives would you suggest

Crazy how the scariest and most dangerous part of the Artemis ii mission hasn’t even happened yet … which is when they renter earth. Their pod would have to enter the athmosphere at a speed 22times the speed of sound (which would actually be the new record speed any human being have ever traveled).. that speed would heat up their pod to half the temperature of the surface of the sun .. that’s 2500 degrees Celsius…😅 When they pass the athmosphere in these conditions, the parachute of their pod would be deployed and they’d land safely in the Pacific Ocean. So the total success of the mission rests on that 10mins re entry back into earth. Fingers crossed.

@Matty_Ixnay @fender_belly they already have the confederate flags ready to go

@Matty_Ixnay @fender_belly obviously doesn't apply to the Portland area but The South is free to have Douglas County tbh

Defining the South as anywhere south of the Mason-Dixon with kudzu, a definition that’ll piss everyone off

@SolidariteCivil @bilbosfootcomb the mixed fabrics thing comes up but 100% of the time it's a rebuttal to people citing Leviticus about gay people.. so irl "I thought these laws don't apply to you" is exactly the point atheist fedora man would be making lol

@bilbosfootcomb Also really funny because most of the time these racist fucks get the Sermon on the Mount quoted at them, not Leviticus

Marcionist heresy btw

@infrupapi how a liberal pumps up his tires

De cabeça pra baixo é um homem peludo recebendo pirocada

@josiahhughes amy schumer chuck schumer humm are they brothers

chuck schumer snapped when he invented the catchphrase “taco.” can’t believe he’s married to amy, comedy power couple for real.

@saccharinegreen rightwing guy saying amerikkka (complimentary)

lmaoooooo the nazi coexist logo looks like something a maoist would make to make fun of liberals

@fernbirg you know how sometimes in a sitcom the A plot and the B plot merge together at the end? well I've been reading the news and

Something I’ve thought about is that there’s nothing really stopping us from sending a man to Venus against his will. Don’t know why we would and he wouldn’t survive more than a few hours but we probably could if we wanted to, perhaps as a punishment.

@KevinVincent605 @IRanMediaco -dont siege Kharg island, take it immediately

My plan is 2 fold. First stay in present position ready to seize their oil island. Then begin shipping oil to every other country that needs it. Make friends with everyone else. Steal all their oil customers and put Iran out of business. No rockets. No drones. No navy. No leaders, and no more oil .customers. Second phase: have Elon using startlink provide internet access to everyone in Iran free of charge. It’s high time we hear from the Iranian people directly. I’m tired of hearing all the speculation about what they need or want. Establish direct communication and take their leaders completely out of the loop. And go from there. Problem solved !!,

BREAKING: Iran's IRGC Statement: "Self-restraint is over. Our response will now be carried out without any consideration, depriving the U.S. and it's allies of oil and gas for years. If the U.S. Army crosses red lines, our response will exceed the region’s boundaries."

@facetedcarapace tbf all of these wackos think that buses are still too scary for them as full grown adults

When my brother was 12 and I was 8, he was left in charge of me while our parents worked some days in the summer and we would take the city bus downtown to go to movies and rent books at the library alone.

@9mmballpoint @mcmansionhell being an American means thinking you can only just barely trust a 16yo to go to the movies but also it's totally fine for them to drive a car lmao

To give you a sense of how quickly the parenting world has gone insane, I'm a Millennial and my friends and I all worked as babysitters when we were like 12

@sharazer07 @WeWuzErrythang @_glorianas Thing is, you're 100% correct that our purpose is not just to work, that there are enough resources for all, and that we're sold big lies to justify the way things are. But that big lie about the natural world is "capitalism is human nature"

@WeWuzErrythang @_glorianas Enlighten me then, you believe your purpose is to work 40 hours a week until retirement & reproduce & die ? Do you also believe the earth is a complete accident and we’re the only intelligent life in an infinite universe ?

flat earthers are so funny man "they're lying about the shape of the earth" okay why?