proposition pahky

This photo deserves a Pulitzer.

@AndThatsBB Marlins Miguel Cabrera? Rankings based on player they were during that time?

If Derek Jeter played his entire career for each franchise, would he be that franchise's greatest player?

Just made my second ever “baby shower gifts” Zelle payment

Certified classic

NYC is terrible and spiraling. If you’re looking to unload on a brownstone by a subway line in Brooklyn right now I’ll take it off your hands.

He gave his dad a gummy and took him to a museum 😅💀

Why not you?

I can promise you, with take-it-to-the-bank 100% percent certainly, that your local bodega will be open and operational throughout the weekend

Omg how will he ever survive?!?!?! (hilarious to think he’s paying NYC taxes, not NJ taxes)

I do appreciate the honesty of a listed 6:38PM start time

Tired of this discourse. If you think the only perk to the AMEX/chase cards is lounge access, I assume your parents are siblings.

2025 team leaders in wRC+ if you removed the each team’s best hitter: NYY 108 (Judge) TOR 107 (Springer) NYM 107 (Soto) CHC 107 (Busch) SEA 106 (Raleigh) LAD 105 (Ohtani) ARI 105 (Perdomo) MIL 105 (Turang) PHI 103 (Schwarber) ATH 103 (Rooker)

My grandpa used to make me smoke black n milds to keep the mosquitos away

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees. $30 per seat per month. $1.4 million annually. I called it "digital transformation." The board loved that phrase. They approved it in eleven minutes. No one asked what it would actually do. Including me. I told everyone it would "10x productivity." That's not a real number. But it sounds like one. HR asked how we'd measure the 10x. I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards." They stopped asking. Three months later I checked the usage reports. 47 people had opened it. 12 had used it more than once. One of them was me. I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds. It took 45 seconds. Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations. But I called it a "pilot success." Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail. The CFO asked about ROI. I showed him a graph. The graph went up and to the right. It measured "AI enablement." I made that metric up. He nodded approvingly. We're "AI-enabled" now. I don't know what that means. But it's in our investor deck. A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT. I said we needed "enterprise-grade security." He asked what that meant. I said "compliance." He asked which compliance. I said "all of them." He looked skeptical. I scheduled him for a "career development conversation." He stopped asking questions. Microsoft sent a case study team. They wanted to feature us as a success story. I told them we "saved 40,000 hours." I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up. They didn't verify it. They never do. Now we're on Microsoft's website. "Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot." The CEO shared it on LinkedIn. He got 3,000 likes. He's never used Copilot. None of the executives have. We have an exemption. "Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction." I wrote that policy. The licenses renew next month. I'm requesting an expansion. 5,000 more seats. We haven't used the first 4,000. But this time we'll "drive adoption." Adoption means mandatory training. Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches. But completion will be tracked. Completion is a metric. Metrics go in dashboards. Dashboards go in board presentations. Board presentations get me promoted. I'll be SVP by Q3. I still don't know what Copilot does. But I know what it's for. It's for showing we're "investing in AI." Investment means spending. Spending means commitment. Commitment means we're serious about the future. The future is whatever I say it is. As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

I’m getting stoned and goin to the museum of natural history today 😃

@TommyOKid care to comment?

unc is FULL been sitting like this for 45 minutes

Now THATs a plate

@TommyOKid Over/under 9.5 “congrats on your new mayor” comments

Told my sister I’ll give her 5 grand if any of our aunts and uncles can pronounce “Zohran Mamdani” correctly