Michael Schumacher

Eine kleine Birkin Bag kostet 10k€. Die Preise gehen bis 300k€. Wohlgemerkt - es geht um eine Handtasche. Fakes haben sogar einen eigenem Namen, Fake + Birkin = Firkin. Und jetzt kriege ich den kleinen Kerl nicht mehr aus dem Kopf, wie er gefälschte Handtaschen verkauft.

@NoContextBrits Would

Describe this meal in one word.

@railLKB Metropolis 2.0, workers arriving for their shift :)

OMG BERLIN. What is this and how do I do it? That looks so fun!

@Osiwahn Zielgruppengerechte Kommunikation.

So spielen kleine, unwissende Kinder Krieg. Und der amerikanische Präsident.

@ImpiriaKN Zumindest Finanz-Bros.

@ImpiriaKN Ein Kollege ist so mal an eine romantische Urlaubsreise mit einem Ex-Kollegen an den Lago Maggiore gekommen. 😁

@winkelsdorf Gabs denn schon praktische Auswirkungen? Eine (falsche?) Todesanzeige veranlasst z.B. manche Banken, Konten zumindest halb zu sperren: übliche monatliche Ausgaben werden durchgewunken, offensichtliche Beerdigungskosten ebenfalls, anderes blockiert.

Nachdem mich die Gerichte in Hamburg nun offiziell für tot erklärt haben: Ergehen daraus für mich nun Rechtspflichten? Muss ich mich innerhalb einer Frist auf dem Friedhof einfinden oder so?

@littlewisehen @Tiamat_Ioff @Heiliger_Gral @Re1Amun Darwin ist leider zu langsam.

@Tiamat_Ioff @Heiliger_Gral @Re1Amun Darwin gefällt das… ⚰️

Meine Damen und Herren: Der amtierende Präsident der Vereinigten Staaten… 🤡

The Australo-Hungarian Empire at its territorial peak

Das eine Frühstück, das wir in Europa alle essen.

@winkelsdorf Wurde zwei Wochen zu früh veröffentlicht, der BND arbeitet noch an deinem Unfall.

@dafaelltmirein @UndArzt Adolphé. vgl. 'Der Vorname’

@UndArzt Im KiGa des Sohnes gab es auch mehrere Theos. Und einen Bruno.

Eben hat eine Mutter ihre ca. 7j Tochter gerufen und sie hieß Andrea. Andrea! Das galt, mit Sandra, Christina und Nicole, in den 80ern als Sammelbegriff. Niemand u40 heißt so. Ich, alt, heiße so! Ein kleines Kind 2026! Ich bin maximal verwirrt und halte nach Claudia Ausschau.

🐳 🤡 Mahlzeit!

You buy a German anvil. It contains 83 moving parts and requires winding twice a day. It's forged from excellent steel, holds tolerances across all three striking faces to within three microns, includes a beautifully indexed horn-adjustment mechanism nobody asked for, and requires a proprietary 11-point spanner should you need to replace the rebound calibration bushing. It runs flawlessly for years, but one day it starts up in limp mode because the onboard anvil-management system detects that it's overdue for its 50,000-strike inspection. You search AliExpress for a Chinese anvil, and are presented with a multitude of offerings from such household-name brands as DUKXJYIBF, HDBTGMXI, AND UEJQIP. They're all priced to within a few pennies of each other, appear completely identical except for the nameplate, and obviously all came out of the same factory. You text your blacksmith friend to ask if they're legit. He tells you he got one like that from KIXJBU a few years ago, and that it's been great and a terrific deal. You thank him, but KIXJBU seems to have folded so you buy the one from UEJQIP. When it arrives, it feels suspiciously light. You scratch it and realize it's iron-plated aluminum. You buy an American anvil. It's five times the price of the competition, but it comes from a brand that your great-grandfather used to love. It comes boxed with a warranty registration postcard, twenty pages of safety instructions, assay certificate, and a regulatory slip which lists its FCC certification and ITAR registration. It looks just like your friend's KIXJBU. There's a "Made In China" sticker on the bottom. You buy a Russian anvil. It arrives coated in cosmoline, wrapped in newspaper from 1974, and weighing 40% more than advertised. The finish looks like it was machined with a shovel. The face is not flat, but somehow this does not matter. You drop it off a truck, accidentally leave it outside for six winters, and use it to straighten a bulldozer blade. It's fine. You buy a Swedish anvil. It comes flat-packed in a long cardboard box with cheerful Neo-Grotesk lettering and a line drawing of a smiling man assembling it with an Allen key. The instructions contain no words, only pictograms showing the anvil face, horn, waist, feet, and 112 identical-looking fasteners. Halfway through assembly, you discover that the pritchel hole was installed upside down, but only because you used peg B17 where you should have used peg B71. Once assembled, it is clean, stable, and works better than it has any right to. You immediately wonder whether you should have bought two. You buy a Japanese anvil. It arrives wrapped in rice paper inside a paulownia box, accompanied by a certificate bearing three generations of signatures and a photograph of the first production example being presented to the Emperor. The face has been hand-polished by a seventy-eight-year-old master whose family has made striking surfaces since the Muromachi period. You are given detailed instructions for oiling it with a cloth folded in a specific way. It is the most beautiful object you own. You never quite work up the nerve to strike it.

To be a European you just need the right mental disorder: • German 🇩🇪 - Autism • French 🇫🇷 - Narcissism • British 🇬🇧 - Hypocrisy • Spanish 🇪🇸 - ADHD • Italian 🇮🇹 - Histrionic Personality Disorder • Polish 🇵🇱 - Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder • Dutch 🇳🇱 - Cynicism • Belgian 🇧🇪 - Schizophrenia • Swedish 🇸🇪 - Stockholm Syndrome • Czech 🇨🇿 - Existential Nihilism • Russian 🇷🇺 - Psychopathy

May the Fourth be with YOU, from the Obama Presidential Center. Opening June 19. @BarackObama @MarkHamill

@SSchafer55796 @DiePauline_neu "Gsälzbrot" stellte sich für eine auswärtige Pflegekraft einmal als unüberwindbare Sprachbarriere dar. Zum Glück konnte einer meiner Verwandten für seinen Zimmergenossen übersetzen, und es gab das gewünschte (Erdbeer*-)Marmeladenbrot. * "Breschdling hoist des!"

@DiePauline_neu Ich fühle dich. In der Pflege sind mir so Dinge wie Nachttischle, Fiedle lupfen begegnet. Meine Favoriten sind Brötle (womit ich meine Mom in den Wahnsinn trieb 😅 und Fleischküchle.

Tag 4 als Norddeutsche unter Schwaben. Bin nur noch ein „Hallöle“ vom „Amokläufle“ entfernt.

@BlueWhiteOct @HamasAtrocities I mean, we should certainly wish for a future where they can do this in Gaza and remain unharmed.

@HamasAtrocities I wish they were allowed to Gaza in these outfits and perform their little dance there…

What to say?

At this point don’t bring her