Colonel Wisdom

23YO: {stubs toe} Ow lol. Fuck 78YO: {stubs toe} {whole leg turns crimson red} What Is My Son’s Name

@Iittlejoy Would rather be dead

@Integrity_Freak ? I worked 18 hours straight yesterday

I work all day getting sweat and grease in my pores so my wife can work all night squeezing out my blackheads. Neither of us has a job.

@exMalwa Who is Ceasar

If you could go back in time would you give Ceasar a stab vest

@Integrity_Freak @futurevictim_ @Iittlejoy Why are you defending another woman

@futurevictim_ @Iittlejoy I don’t think she would do that

@low_dosage We need them bigger now for dog food purposes

whenever I see these old photos of the wild west it's always so crazy to me how tiny everyone's horses are. even the big dudes riding smaller quarter horses today are still way more proportionate

Having sex with someone who has a cold is technically rape. They can't consent

@senator_gun @oohweehuman Mamdani's New York 🙄

@LoadShoota May I responsibly borrow some money

@geraldstratfor3 Thank you Gerald!!!

Mother cabbage and her kids cheers

My victim said the funniest thing the other day

Just found out I'm going to be on the next season of the bachelor as the bachelor

@RepFine You have fat, heaving, sweaty tits

If they force us to choose, the choice between dogs and Muslims is not a difficult one.

@characterbldg Suffering even a whiff of the fragrant al pastor cooking on the trompo would explode this man's pancreas

@bluishgray @SVUWritersRoom

iCE T is done for me, if @SVUWritersRoom even thinks about bringing him back even part time, I’m out and have watched this show from the beginning. This is just sad that he had to go and open his mouth again. This show will be done if people see him back on the show. #IceT #SVU

@FINALLEVEL Yup ! 👆👆👆

Bad Bunny was dope at the Supebowl last night.. And I don’t give a F how you feel about it. 💥

@sweetxpalma @Iittlejoy Happy birthday. Making love to you was one of the top 4 most pleasurable experiences of my life

@Iittlejoy Ily back queen 🙇‍♂️💐🥰

There are, low estimate, tens of millions of people in this country i will enjoy to see die. My self-preservation is almost entirely based around how good it will feel.

@MeghanMcCain Fat

Wanna know one of the best things about Mr. Rogers growing up? I never knew anything about his political opinions. He just entertained kids. That's it.

They are planning to Hurt me at work Tomorrow