shark-infested timeline

do you guys think australia would be the best country in the world when it comes to six times tables

@D__Melb @AusTravelDaily This is why soylent green was popular, you could clearly see there was nothing dodgy in it!

@stevepog @AusTravelDaily The gubmint put it in our food I’m pretty sure

"From 7pm tonight you will only permitted to refuel at any service station within a 5km radius from your home".

@D__Melb @AusTravelDaily You guys are on 6G now??! I only just got 3 in the country and the government took it back to transmit a microchip vaccine via microwave

@AusTravelDaily “You are only allowed to pay in our new central bank digital currency after showing your 6G vaccine certificate”

@seanHPN Including some of the worst US corporate wankery imaginable, and Americans losing their shit like it’s the most incredible joke since SNL did that thing with the guy in the place

April fools lasts for like 48 fucking hours for Australians in this cursed modern age

@SockSSBM Worst burger of my life in New York 2009, so hyped after watching Harold and Kumar to experience this tasteless mess

no exaggeration when i say this btw ive eaten this meal here and it is worse than every single australian fast food meal you can get

@themiasandrist Not an april fools, this is legitimate A/B product testing. Hopefully results come back to say ‘drop the 32, it’s cleaner’

WHY I HATE APRIL FOOLS (may be a thread during the day idk) Because the noble bin chicken SHOULD be our Brisbane 2032 Olympics mascot.

Seems insane the lengths people will go to now to avoid human contact, then whinge about not having friends. ‘I’m too busy to have hobbies or play sport, don’t like drinking or parties, even chatbots started blocking me’

@alanbuilds @kylegawley Good point, what are you using them for? Are they specific to your business or are they replacements for paid finance/invoicing/supply chain tools? This is where it would pretty handy for trades with limited budget for admin

@kylegawley You're missing the forest for the trees Kyle. People can make their own apps. I've made three that I use in my carpentry business. I'm not trying to sell them. I'm using them, and they're working better than the overpriced generic apps they replaced.

not a single one of them make any money

@bruteb0nnet Same type of dickhead whinging about calls for people who are able to work from home to do so. ‘Will those toilets clean themselves over Skype?’ First no one’s used Skype since 2014 & we’re freeing up fuel for your shitbox Corolla & reducing traffic

I hate the median voter I hate the median voter I hate the median voter I hate the median voter I hate the median voter

@Wutangflan23 @EVCircles Video from three years ago showing a diesel backup generator? Not really a gotcha moment is it. Why does it matter to you what kind of car people spend their money on anyway

@EVCircles Many more videos just like the in Australia and around the world “Bullshit”

Anyone know a type of car that could easily do 80km a day without petrol or diesel? Nah me either.

@ony8590 @disco___cat @Urban_Immerser Hej! Thanks for joining a conversation that has no relevance to your country. Just using the word lumber marked you as a tourist. EVs are going to be useful to millions of Australians and saving diesel for farmers and truckers makes more sense than whatever your argument is

@disco___cat @Urban_Immerser You willing to pay a hundred bucks on delivery for materials every damn time? I just paid out to fill my tray with lumber for a project. And the week before that was transporting some bikes onna tray to a track. Pipe down little EVlet

If more people in the city drive EVs then there’s more diesel for you mate. This isn’t hard to understand.

@JDJA_FGC @lavitalenta Putting my cosplay clown app Hooters on ice while I consider this new development

@lavitalenta What makes me laugh is they talk like this, like work is the most important thing ever, that what they’re working on is so groundbreaking it will change the world and it’s an app that’s dating for actual clowns called Honkers

@AdamNYC25 @gothburz No it’s not just a Peter issue, it’s pretty much everyone who refuses to accept the lie that AI is improving our work or can do a better job than we can. Idiots who say ‘skill issue’ to detailed, well-written and thought out post are the 1% who have laid down and let AI win

@gothburz This is 100% a you issue. If you can’t figure out how to leverage AI in a company that is actively encouraging it then you should just quit now, there is no hope for you.

My company rolled out AI tools 11 months ago. Since then, every task I do takes longer. I am not allowed to say this out loud. Not because there is a policy. There is no policy. There is something worse than a policy. There is enthusiasm. There is a Slack channel called #ai-wins where people post screenshots of AI outputs with captions like "this just saved me an hour." There is a VP who opens every all-hands with "the companies that adopt fastest win." There is a Director who renamed his team from Operations to Intelligent Operations. There is a peer review question that now asks: "How have you leveraged AI tools to enhance your workflow this quarter?" If the answer is "I haven't, because I was faster before," that is a career decision. So I leverage. Emails. Before the tools, I wrote emails. This took the amount of time it takes to write an email. I did not measure it. Nobody measured it. The email got written and sent and it was fine. Now I write the email. Then I highlight the text and click "Enhance with AI." The AI rewrites my email. It replaces "Can we meet Thursday?" with "I'd love to explore the possibility of finding a mutually convenient time to align on this." I read the rewrite. I delete the rewrite. I send my original email. This takes 4 minutes instead of 2. The 2 extra minutes are the enhancement. I do this 11 times a day. That is 22 minutes I spend each day rejecting improvements to sentences that were already finished. In #ai-wins I posted a screenshot of the rewrite. I did not post the part where I deleted it. 23 people reacted with the rocket emoji. That is adoption. Meetings. We have an AI notetaker in every meeting now. It joins automatically. It records. It transcribes. It summarizes. After each meeting I receive a 3-paragraph summary of the meeting I just attended. I read the summary. This takes 3 minutes. I was in the meeting. I know what happened. I am reading a machine's account of something I experienced firsthand. Sometimes the account is wrong. Last Tuesday it attributed a comment about Q3 revenue to me. My manager made that comment. I spent 4 minutes correcting the transcript. Before the notetaker, I did not spend 7 minutes after each meeting correcting a robot's memory of something I personally witnessed. I attend 11 meetings a week. That is 77 minutes per week supervising a transcription nobody requested. I mentioned this once. My manager said "think about the people who weren't in the meeting." The people who weren't in the meeting do not read the summaries. I checked. The read receipts show single-digit opens. The summaries exist not because they are useful but because they are there. I read them for the same reason. Documents. I write a weekly status update. Before the tools, this took 10 minutes. I typed what happened. I sent it. My manager skimmed it. The system worked. Now I open the AI writing assistant. I give it my bullet points. It produces a draft. The draft says "Significant progress was achieved across multiple workstreams." I did not achieve significant progress across multiple workstreams. I updated a spreadsheet and sent 4 emails. I rewrite the draft to say what actually happened. Then I run my rewrite through the grammar tool. It suggests I change "done" to "completed" and "next week" to "in the forthcoming period." I click Ignore 9 times. Then I send the version I would have written in 10 minutes. The process now takes 30. I have been doing this every week for 11 months. I have added 20 minutes to a task that did not need 20 more minutes. I call this efficiency. I have been calling it efficiency for 11 months. That is what efficiency means now. It means the additional time you spend to arrive at the same outcome through a longer process. Nobody has questioned this definition. I have not offered it for review. I kept a log once. 2 weeks. Every task, timed. Before-AI and after-AI. The after number was larger in every case. Every single one. Not by a little. The range was 40 to 200 percent. I deleted the log. I deleted it because it was a document that said, in plain numbers, that the AI tools make me slower. And a document like that has no place in a company where AI adoption is a strategic priority. I could not send it to my manager. He championed the rollout. I could not post it in #ai-wins. I could not raise it in a meeting because the notetaker would transcribe it and the summary would read "[Name] expressed concerns about AI tool efficacy" and that summary would be the first one anyone actually reads. So I do what everyone does. I use the tools. I spend the extra time. I post in #ai-wins. I write "leveraged AI to streamline weekly reporting" in my review and my manager gives me a 4 out of 5 for innovation. I have innovated nothing. I have added steps to processes that were already finished. I have made simple things longer and labeled the difference with words that used to mean something. Every week in #ai-wins someone posts a screenshot. And 20 people react with the rocket emoji. And nobody posts the part where they deleted the output and did the task themselves. Nobody posts the revert. Nobody posts the before-and-after timer. Nobody will. Because "I was better at my job before the AI tools" is a sentence that cannot be said out loud in any company that has decided AI is the future. Every company has decided AI is the future. So we leverage. Quietly. Adding steps. Calling them optimization. Getting slightly less done, slightly more slowly, with slightly more steps, and reporting it as progress. My yearly review is next month. There is a new section this year. "AI Impact Assessment." It asks me to quantify the hours saved by AI tools per week. I will write a number. The number will be positive. It will not be true. But the AI writing assistant will help me phrase it convincingly. That is the one thing it does well.

@therealcyclone Would actually love to see new trend in Northcote or Coburg of shops going back to their 1830 origins. We don’t need another matcha cafe and tattoo removalist, bring in a leatherworker or snake oil salesman

Chalmers, Ironmonger. Useful when everyone has to go back to travelling by horse

@33turbos Sandra Bullock never around when we need her

bus driver just got breathalyzed

@SpectreHuntress @BrodieOnLinux And if they’re a DJ, being a mad cunt on the decks is the best form of flattery

@BrodieOnLinux Positive and negative use of c*nt and mate make me so proud to be Aussie. Like, calling your mate a mad c*nt is okay but calling him a dog c*nt gets you punched 🤣

Introducing Australian English: You dog You cunt You dog cunt

it’s important to understand the impact workplace ai obsession has on team morale and boss perception

@Rombert59836 @mwupfront Was more common 20-30 years ago when mechanics were doing LPG conversions for petrol cars. I had a Toyota Lexcen V6 wagon from ‘02-‘08 on gas and petrol, gas was about 25-30 cents a litre so it was cheap to run but very slow takeoff when on gas

@mwupfront Do a lot of cars run on autogas over there? or autogas/petrol hybrid?

oh my god bruh

@BrookeBrandtjen @Viva_Mehecano The ep on Australia’s Wonderland was amazing, so much stuff we never knew about went on behind the scenes to ruin our favourite childhood theme park. As with most things it was hedge fund/soulless corporate takeover that killed it

@Viva_Mehecano it’s good one day a year when Defunctland posts a video

"5 MILLION DOLLAR STEAK VS 5 DOLLAR STEAK" "I PLAYED [old game] IN 2026" "THE HORRIBLE SECRETS OF DAN SCHNEIDER"