yourmaitred

@GWRHelp I have had a response to My delay repay claim saying unable to process as the tickets are for the wrong direction of travel. I have just checked and the tickets are correct for the cancelled 1615 from Plymouth on the 28th of April. I was travelling to Retford and I missed my connection so had to book extra tickets

@jodiecongirl @llggeorgia @_Harriet90 The next flex has to be a Farm food’s bag for life then.

@yourmaitreD @llggeorgia @_Harriet90 not sure how you're gonna feel about it but Lidl exists in new jersey now

If thousands of Londoners are carrying around Trader Joe’s totes despite the shop literally not existing here, does that mean there are New Yorkers wandering about clutching Sainsbury’s bags???

@TheDailyDraught Room temperature IQ.

I don't understand how has Madri managed to infiltrate it's way into so many pubs across the UK

@SimpGanassi It’s also one of the wettest places in the UK.

I’d love to holiday in Cornwall (never been) BUT it takes six hours to drive there, hotels are at least £100 a night, food is very expensive and the weather is British. Alternatively I can fly to Athens, get a good hotel for half the price, eat out cheaply AND have nice weather

@jamesinsurrey Dreadful place.

Center Parcs - a collection of people wearing swimwear for the bodies they wanted, not the bodies they have, and a number of trannies that aren’t fooling anyone.

@bushontheradio 2030

I have a deep rooted suspicion of people who go to bed really early. How early do you go to bed during the week?

@bored2dthNashvL We need to bring a similar rule to supermarkets!

Golf courses should require a five handicap or better to play weekend mornings.

@Lifeinvestmoney Tech sales….

Need a job where I can make six figures but I have no skills and I’m not very smart What field is this?

@HedgeDirty Oh the beloved peat monster!

(Also: actually have a laphroig, neat before trying this advice. Don't fly blind here)

Pro tip: if you're in some sort of ambiguous social-business situation with middle aged dudes, where you don't know anyone but need a conversation-starter that implicitly days "I belong here", order a laphroig, neat

@BMM1882 Sound like Andy Peters!

Clearly a Gypsy horse and cart. I’ve seen them going down the A406 and even on the M25. Imagine that. A horse and cart on the dual carriageway - or motorway. Sky’s recent puff piece neglected to mention this and other gifts from the “Traveller community”.

@tomfgoodwin Getting old!

I'm going through a weird period of time where I'm starting to fantasize about doing manual jobs I really want to make a dry stone wall I really want to operate diggers I'm enthusiastic about chopping up some wood I don't mean as a career, I mean as a hobby

😝 😜

Good morning 6am Britain! 44.8% of GDP in public spending isn’t going to pay for itself so let’s get out there and SUBSIDISE Have a great week live players!

@AvonandsomerRob Cape Verde 🇨🇻

Where's a place that you've been on holiday that you'd never return?

@BrianSuttererMD They’re running 1 km at 2 min 50 seconds. And sustain it for 42.2 km. Utterly insane.

@LargeFamDad Never a truer word spoken, children square the circle. ⭕️ ❤️

My boss's boss is like 42, never married, no kids. Earns $275-300K per year. Goes on a minimum of two international vacations a year w/ his girlfriend. 10+ days, all out. Eats the best food, stays in top notch accomodations. Excursions, tours, nicest beaches, etc. Great guy, I'm happy for him. But what I've realized is that without kids, you end up chasing a lifestyle that has to continually be topped in order for you to be satisfied and find happiness. What he and others like him don't understand is that when you have children, seeing THEM experience life's most basic things and watching their eyes light up at all the "firsts", brings greater pleasure and joy than any vacation or travel experience ever could. Seeing THEM try blueberries for the first time is greater than dining at the best 5 star restaurant in Europe. Seeing THEM learn how to walk is greater than walking the Great Wall of China or strolling along the most picturesque beach. Watching THEM giggle uncontrollably at "peek-a-boo" tops any A-list comedian act. Seeing THEIR excitement when building a fort out of cardboard boxes and making a door big enough for daddy is superior to staying at 5-star resorts. Flying kites with THEM far outweighs excursions like parasailing or helicopter rides. Seeing THEM perform a recital on stage for the first time is more rewarding than watching a Broadway show or top notch symphony orchestra. ----------------- When you have children, all of a sudden you realize that life's greatest joys are not in the pursuit of things or pleasure or travel, but rather in the LOVE and bond you share with your very own image bearers. Seeing the beauty and magnificence and wonder of life all over again for the first time through THEIR eyes and expressions gives you something the world simply cannot offer, nor even come close.

@BucketsOf_Rain One of the best things about WFH is no one can smell the booze on your breath. They just think, "God, he is on fire today."

Twitter argument of the day is about work drinking, which is quite an enjoyable and harmless thing to argue about, for a change. I remember a colleague of mine (this is about 25 years ago) told me that he was offered a gin and tonic at his interview.

The clearest articulation yet of the difference between Brits and Americans. Most Brits watching this see it and think “legends”.